Are there polyester barongs in heaven?

wait lang, busy

Love and sex in nature: An evolutionary look

If naturalism is what you want, you surely can set your sight on Mother Nature, who will surely deliver what's all-natural. I wish I could give you all a copy of an old essay I've just read, "Love in the Desert" by Joseph Wood Krutch (no bad puns intended there). This essay single-handedly summarizes in an intellient way how 'love' and sex are an amazingly diverse "variations on a theme which didn't evolve in a straight line" but in fits and starts, or so it seems across genera and phyla, according to the evolutionary need perhaps.

Says Krutch, "Certainly nature herself discovered a very long time ago that sex was - or at least could be used -- "for" many things besides the production of offspring not too monotonously like the parent. Certainly also, these discovereies anticipated pretty nearly everything which man himself has ever found it possible to use sex "for." In fact it becomes humiliating to realize that we seem to have invented nothing absolutely new."

Marital attachment?

Attachment to the home?

Devotion to children?

Hermaphrodism? Bisexuality?

Homosexuality?

Onanism?

Sex is unnecessary? In ___, the male is just a supplier of sperm without even the benefit of enjoying the sex act.

Vegetative reproduction? In bacteria, cacti, etc.

Prolonged courtship period?

Elaborately beautiful sex organs?

Ugly, unadorned sex organs, which double as orifices of sex/pleasure/love, procreation and excretion?

Monogamy?

Polygamy?

Polyandry?

Promiscuity?

Look how hilariously spot-on Krutch is in discussing an otherwise very sensitive subject:

"Our currently best-publicized student of huamn sexual conduct has argued that some of what are called 'perversion' in the human being -- homosexuality, for example -- should be regarded as merely 'normal variations' because something analogous is sometimes observed in the animal kingdom. But if that arguemtn is valid then nothing in the textbooks of psychopathology is 'abnormal.' Once nature had established the face of maleness and femaleness, she seems to have experimented with every possible variation on the theme. By comparison, Dr. Kinsey's most adventurous subjects were hopelessly handicapped by the anatomical and physiological limitations of the human being."

Sassy, sassed

In case you missed the recent hulaballoo, hop on to the ff. sites to read their reactions to Sassy Lawyer's (Connie Veneracion's) landmark diss-ision on Ka Amado Hernandez's Ibong Madaragit (Reminds me of the brashness of a poet named /spin.):

Ian Rosales-Casocot
Angela Stuart-Santiago
Libay Cantor
Exie Abola
John Nery
Ichi Batacan ->porque hindi viewable ito, eh ang galing pa naman

And, of course, a pro side from Dean Bocobo
I'm joining the drive to actually hijack a copy of the darned novel and read it through, even though I'm currently busy with Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities. I'm sure I've read Amado Hernandez in high school. Isn't he the author of Isang Dipang Langit"? Duh, congratulate me, I've actually read him! It's just that I didn't pay much attention because I was busy with my zits at the time. All I remebered was that his use of the metaphor of imprisonment is so simple and yet so evocative. Give me a copy of that book please!

Unfair hike

(Editorial)

Precis: Fare hikes are unfair to PUJ drivers just the same -- not to mention, to all commuters, who will be forced to hike.

**

Whenever there’s a transport strike in Metro Manila, I don’t know whether to laugh or be pitiful. The strikers are always unsuccessful. Or only partially successful, despite their press release and depending on where you take off in your daily commute, if you’re a regular commuter.

The problem is there are always jeepney or bus drivers that don’t toe the line, taking the strikers by surprise and leaving them even angrier than before.

Contrast this picture to the success of American writers in crippling Hollywood TV. One could only exclaim a monosyllabic word and be totally green with envy even as one gropes for the rights words. In the Philippines, you don’t get to see such a thing. Workers are never united even when not doing so will make all of them suffer in the end. I don’t know how to call this fractious situation. It’s either poor or sad.

With unions already effectively busted in the shifting sands of the law, outsourcing, globalization, etc., it seems workers have no clout left to speak of.

In the face of this grim reality, which I never expected to beset the supposedly modern (and expectedly more humane) world, you can see how businesses adopt the right thing in their own practicable logic. The more conscientious perhaps would give back what their laborers’ labor deserves anyway even when they’re not exactly indispensable.

With a little effort in doing the math, it should be easy to see which firms seem to take advantage and which ones seem to squeeze the last drop of sweat at the lowest possible price with a view to attaining the maximum profit. I assume the latter is what they all teach in business school, because that’s the message on the ground, in the real world, loud and clear. (Or could it be that I’m just spouting a naïve, limited, and hence putrid view?)

Of course, workers whose skills are specialized are the only ones who manage to have a clout and to act up when their demands aren’t met.

Since PUJ drivers don’t enjoy the luxury of such a clout, they can only resort to partial strikes. Which are rendered even punier by their total lack of unity.

Not only that. We are never sure whether they enjoy public sympathy at all. My friend Rey put it this way: “Who are they joking? With strikes, they only punish their kind, including their own families, who can ill afford a car or a taxi to get to their workplace. Meanwhile, whoever or whichever the real target of their anger – the policymakers that allow everything to rise up until the rest of us die hungry because of price hikes, or something in the system that abets it - most probably drive away merrily in streets that are not clogged with unruly PUJs, for a change.”

Test for inner peace

(Fwd’d email)

Tick off the following possible symptoms if applicable to you:

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A loss of interest in judging other people.
A loss of interest in judging self.
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of ability to worry. (This is a serious symptom.)
Frequent attacks of smiling.
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. (If you’ve done your best, that is. -R.O)
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

–Author unknown.

Natural?

Re: http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20080515-136597/Natural

It’s hard to argue with Anger. It’s even harder to argue with currently the best essayist/columnist of this country. God knows how many rabid fans he has across the spectrum of opinions from the left to the left of center. But being the best – and admittedly the bravest – writer doesn’t mean you’re always right.

Sometimes you can commit an honest mistake. Sometimes you can commit an honest mistake out of love of your friends.

Because we highly respect someone like Mr. De Quiros, this post is not meant to deliberately attack, offend, marginalize, or discriminate against Mr. De Quiros or his friends, who are truly a discriminated–against, grossly misunderstood, and often pre-judged bunch. Nonetheless, some people have to speak up and stand up for their right to air their alternative views on things, even if they’re not half as good in writing. We respect the right of the marginalized. We adjure them to respect that of others.

At this juncture, allow someone authoritative on the subject to stand up and speak out, hoping everyone will hear out what one of the “ex-gays” themselves has to say on the matter. The gay community, to whom he is at odds with, is very much familiar with Mr. Rollie, who currently heads the Philippine Chapter of Courage, the local group for ex-gays and non-gay homosexuals (homosexuals who don't subscribe to the gay lifestyle). If you want an appeal to academic credentials, Rollie has an M.S. in Counseling or a related course from UP Diliman.

Here’s our email exchange:

Me: Natural, you say? "But disease is also natural. Does that mean we give in?" To quote someone else's quip, "Cannibalism is also natural among animals." Does that mean it’s natural for us humans to have our own kids for dinner? We have animal instincts that drive us naturally, but we also have human faculties, human judgment. What do you say to that?

But let me bring the focus back on homosexuality among animals. Does homosexuality occur in animals? What made you feel certain the behaviour is homosexual in the first place?

Rollie: regarding your question "what if the gays say that homosexuality occurs in animals?", we may need to refer to Defending a Higher Law, a book made by the american society for the defense of tradition, family and property.

in page 89 it states: "the reasoning ... could be stated as follows:
'homosexual behavior is observable in animals.
animals follow their instincts in accordance with their nature.
therefore, homosexuality is in accordance with animal nature.
since man is an animal, then homosexuality must also be in accordance with human nature' "

an example in the book is the bonobo, of the chimpanzee family, whose reproductive rituals seems to be chaotic and aggressive. to ward off a competition, a male bonobo would chase away the competitor from the female, after which the two males reunite resulting to the rubbing of their scrotums.

in essence, the book explains that man cannot be fully compared to an animal, whose cognition is purely sensorial (limited to odors, touch, tastes, images) that produces several instincts that may clash which may lead to distortions of normal behavior such as animal filicide or cannibalism or seemingly "homosexual" behavior. man, due to his gift of intellect and will, when several instincts clash, the intellect determines the best course to follow, and the will then holds one instinct in check while encouraging the other.

that means man's rational nature encompasses that of animals' instinctive nature. unless we will agree that man runs by pure instinct alone.


**

Me: Is there a gay gene? Have they mapped the gay gene yet? Where is the incontrovertible proof that homosexuality is genetic? If it is indeed genetic, why are there identical twins where one is straight and the other homosexual? Isn’t that enough proof to debunk the genetic theory?

Rollie: regarding the question on the gay gene, in the studies that is being showcased in popular media about this, there is a combination of one or more of the following flaws:

1. the researcher is biased (for the gay political agenda)

2. the sample is biased (e.g. kinsey's sample was taken out of sexual offenders, and this is where gay activists quote their popular 10% of the population is gay theme)

3. the subsequent studies using same research method produce different results (e.g. in one study similar to kinsey, the result was about less than 1% of the sample was gay)

a very good online source that may counter this gay gene issue, and highlight the environmental origins of homosexuality, is found at http://www.narth.com (national assoc. on research and therapy of homosexuality).


**

Rollie: just a little note of correction though: Human Life International is largely Catholic. Their international executive director is a Catholic priest and Courage is a close affiliate of HLI especially here in the Philippines.


**


Addendum:

Me: And where did Mr. De Quiros get that alleged Catholic teaching about Catholic sex as something hypocritically excluded from the concept of romantic love? Has he read Pope Benedict’s Deus caritas est and all other encyclicals on love that I might have missed to mention? Our religion is a religion of love, a faith based on unconditional love, and you can't find that in other faiths! The problem is not sex itself, but the misuse of sex, loveless sex, sex taken out context, as porn is about sex that’s depicted out of context, removed from a person’s totality. What sort of values Mr. De Quiros is espousing?

With regard to homosexual sex, the problem is dysfunctional sex, and, as I see it, it should be treated in that context. The dysfunctionality should be a mitigating factor in judging its morality. Why? Because homosexuals are largely victims -- of physical violence, sex molestation, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, peer rejection, overbearing mothers coupled with soft fathers, and through it all, an unloving, unaffirming, and distant or simply absent father/father figure.

Just a quick survey of gay-themed stories in theater and film will prove this, ironically works by those who don't believe in and deny the truthfulness of the reparative theory of homosexuality: Brokeback Mountain (the parts in Annie Proulx's short story that was excluded from the film by Ang Lee), My Life in Pink (Ma Vie en Rose), Zsazsa Zaturnnah, GeeGee at Waterina, etc. etc.

The clueless pastors of the Church should embrace the homosexual person. Let there be a preferential option for them, because they are especially poor and suffering members. Let there be a special place for caring and healing, to show that they are loved, that there's hope beyond their pain, and even that change is possible.

Finally, back to Mr. De Quiros: Will he not listen to Reason instead of relying largely on Anger? Just because you have gay friends who might get hurt doesn’t excuse you from not confronting a possible blind spot.

Found

California ban on same-sex marriage struck down

Believing in aliens not opposed to Christianity, Vatican's top astronomer says

Girl's twin found inside her stomach


**

Unpublishables section

Meanwhile, I was laughing my head off the other day when Rey related to me what he read in one article he was working on: The only thing America invented was the powdered milk. Reminded me of the joke about Switzerland’s only contribution to world civilization: the tweetie-bird clock. Too bad Rey can't remember where he read the article.

Why we owe our mothers

I love my mother, but I hate Mothers' Day. It sounds so fake because it's forced upon us by commerce. Dictators! I can't complain that much, though. We all have to find creative ways of making a living.

(Fwd'd email)

I OWE MY MOTHER SO MUCH:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me M EDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

New definition of terms

(Fwd'd email)

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

Finds

Frog Migration: Omen [of] China Earthquake Disaster - Heed nature’s warning signs - or croak for the last time.

Try making a splash in the world's largest swimming pool... it's 1,000 yards long - I want one at home.


10 Most Dangerous Destinations - Nice places in which to die, and nicer to live through and survive alive.


Kyaraben: Japanese Character Lunch Boxes - Food you don’t wanna eat.

"The revenge of e.e. cummings"

The revenge of e.e. cummings, International Herald Tribune, Monday, May 12, 2008.

"Item: A new study warns that writing text messages could hurt a
writer's command of standardized English."

(Thanks to Connie L.)

Q. on Vizayan grammar

Why do Vizayans have this nasty curious habit of omitting the syllable that should be repeated in certain Tagalog verb tenses (particularly inflections on the progressive –ing verbs and participles)? Are they just being lazy or defiant, or is something the matter in their language that explains the mystery?

Examples:

Future progressive tense

T: Magpapaalam ako (sa ‘yo bukas).
V: Magpaalam ako.

Past perfect progressive tense

T: Nagpapaalam ako (nung dumating ka).
V: Nagpaalam ako.

Present progressive tense

T: Nagpapaalam ako.
V: Nagpaalam ako.

Tell me, Manny Pacquiao, why you talk that way. Why the missing extra “pa”’s?

Much-preferred bird names

Extremist Riflebird
Polyphonic Ringtone Sunbird
Bird of Paradise for the Wallpaper
Bad Big Bird
Hateful Owl
Federalist Touraco
Really Mad Kookaboora
Undeniably Lovely Sunbird
Highly Spiritual Vulture
Thanksgiving Condor
Thanksgiving Bald Eagle
Mysterious Turkey
Timorous Reed Warbler
Persnickety Jacana
Gossipy Cock
Cocky Quail
Tom Cruise's Couch-Jumping Bowerbird
Specially Flavorful Ortolan
Col. Sanders's Pheasant
KFC Chicken Bird
Jollibee's Double-Breasted Chickenjoy
Tweetie Bird (the real)
Simply Yummy Eagle
Endangered Rara Avis
The Bird Who Should Not Be Named
Peking Duck with Hoisin Sauce

Democratic People's Republic of Nursing

If there's one person I dread to see the most, it's my father, who constantly breathes down my neck asking the same questions over and over again: What else am I doing here? Why am I not applying for work abroad yet like everybody else, either as a teacher or a streetsweeper or whatever? What am I doing here working for years for nothing? Questions I could only hope to answer with certain disrespect: "I didn't take up B.S. Nursning, aren't they?"

Drat! I wish I took up Nursing. If only I knew I'd be able to move from the tar pits to middle-class SES (socioeconomic status) in just a few minutes by being a nurse, I would've moved earth and heaven and hell and purgatory to dump my course and shift gears.

Just a cursory look at the numbers overpopulating my cellphone, which gathers all the people I've known since birth in once place (without them knowing), it's clear as crystal meth that Nursing is the way to go. It's, in fact, the only way to survive the onslaught of globalization age.

My father kinda knows this, even if he doesn't know what globalization is about, that's why he constantly uses it as an ammunition against me every time he sees me in my rented apartment playing jackstones when I am not looking for another, better-paying job. How do I tell him the truth that all I ever wanted to do in life is play jackstones? He uses his usual line of questioning to rouse me into devilish enviousness, so that I'd find a way to take up Nursing 101 on my own, or find another way out, like take the wrong course that would perhaps eventually lead me to B.S. Nursing, like Caregiving 101.

I admit he's right, and I'm just being in denial.

Where is everybody? Therein lies the answer: Everybody's into Nursing. It's as though the rest of the world is either sick or dying in the ICU that there's no other career left to pursue but to nurse.

It's so funny that, no matter where you go these days, you see them in droves, and you can't help seeing them as a sign of the times: the immaculate-white uniforms parading down the streets everywhere in Metro Manila and everywhere else in the country. It's like the entire city and country is now a factory, a diploma mill, of B.S. Nursing, Med Tech, Physical Therapy, Caregiving, and Medicine grads. Every time I bump into the white-uniformed, I can't help but think this crude thought: Wow, you'll be in the US soon and will get rich quick, quicker than all of us, without being bribed by highly placed politicians. Good for yeew!

First, there's my cousin Leah, whom I've heard now owns 100 SUVs in California alone. Guess what she did when it was her elder sister's (my cousin Lyn's) turn to come to America as a petitioned immigrant? Leah sent Lyn, a Commerce grad, to a nursing school there, and now Lyn is about to graduate with a bright future ahead of her. Wise girls.

There's also my cousin Elsa who used to nurse sick Arabs in Riyadh. She is now in London nursing sick Brits this time. Guess what her husband Cesar is doing? You'll never guess it. Nursing.

I haven't heard much about my elementary schoool classmates, but I wouldn't be surprised if all of them are now into it as well. Whether it's about prolonging life artificially or just dressing a fresh wound, Nursing has become a matter of life and death. Cesar could have been a military officer by now, Michelle a history professor, Janet the country's president, and Arthur a preacher or something. But happily, chances are high that they're inserting thermometers into octogenarian mouths and stanching a bad nosebleed or torniqueting some lopped-off body parts, if not impatiently standing by for the blips in the pulse rates of heart patients.

I texted Bella lately, whom I'm particularly close to, and she could only update me with an expectedly lugubrious, "I'm likewise struggling with my teacher's pay." She's now a Sociology professor at the university.

The fate of my high school classmates I'm definitely much aware of. I can rattle off each of my classmates' names in just a sec and I'd still be missing a number of those who are now into the medical-allied fields -- with a view to taking up Nursing eventually, I'm sure: Anaria, Jenny, Mira, Mavic, Joy, Guillermo, Isagani, Paeng, Badz, Jona, Bles, Waldy...

Whenever any one of these people come home, all they do is assemble all of us who've been left behind - literally, figuratively - to the best restos in town and then to scout for the nicest condos on the side.

Rodel had it easier, though: out of sheer luck. He married an Ireland-bound nurse. What a guy. The same happened to Benjo.

Francis had it even better: He married Margot, a doctor who must have shifted to Nursing by now after they packed their bags for the US.

The experience of my batchmates in college is equally instructive. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry for Renan, Nena, Irene, Mona, Aileen, Hector, Thess,
Kristin, Mylene, and so on. They are all now wringing their hands for taking up the right course at the time, BS Bio as a pre-Med course, which turned out to be a big mistake.

My former roommate Glenn also took the sheer-luck path: He happened to have a wife who had had the foresight to take up Nursing.

Now, where are my former officemates? Malen, Tet, Tiny, Izza, Annamay, Ivy, Jaz, Noemie, Mimi, Mao, Marvin, Mac, Gorgeous (her real name is Alma), Luz, Kiko, Mayet, Erwin, Herbs, Joan, Concon, Annie, et al.? Well, most of them tried the call center thing, but eventually gave it up because of the deadly skeds. (Of course we all know why call centers pay big and dangle hefty benefits at you: Because they will kill you eventually.) A sizeable part of them is now into the KPO (knowledge process outsourcing) jobs of indexing, abstracting and the like, but an even more significant number pursued their ultimate calling: become a nurse. Not here at home, take note, but in Saudi, Japan, Spain, Hong Kong, Turkey, Turkmenistan, Rwanda, Turks and Caicos Island, Christmas Island, anywhere but here.

The dictatorship of Florence Nightingale's profession on the rest of society is so complete that everyone else, even specialist doctors, are priced out of the job market that these doctors have no choice but to leave even if they are employed in the best hospitals in town. I've seen a sizeable of them turning into students again asking for my help with the basics of English grammar so they could pass the ESL exams.

One fine example is Anton, who had all the connections and is hard-working and definitely superior in intelligence, but had to take up Nursing eventually in Lanting’s School of Nursing for Doctors. He used to be a surgeon at the Chinese Gen in Blumentritt.

The McLuhanic message is clear: If you're not nursing someone back to health, you can die hungry now, neck-deep in debt - and with zero career.

At this point, I remember at least one defiant person in all this: Carlo, who had derisively said, "Ayokong mag-nurse kasi ayokong mag-silbi!" ("I don't want to be a nurse because I don't want to serve other people.) Guess where he is right now: Medical transcription, encoding doctor-patient or even nurse-patient transactions like a slave. I am reminded of the rest who are all biding their time, using their day job as a front to finance their ultimate dream job: become a registered nurse. Clearly, whatever your career is right now, it ultimately leads you back to the one career that matters in the world -- even if all you ever wanted is to be the best jackstone player in the world.

My father is right. There's no escaping it: I have to escape this place to survive. And there's no escaping Nursing. It's the golden ticket to heaven.

Tomorrow, I'll be inquiring about the enrollment fees first thing in the morning. And then find a kind-hearted sponsor from abroad to finance my escape plan. Or maybe fake a romance with a US-bound nurse -- who knows.

(Note: Some names here were fictionalized.)

Wanted: the ultimate food supplement

Will someone please formulate a more affordable version of Dr. Galvez Tan's First Vita Plus? Here's the formula:

Moringa olifeira (malunggay), Capsicum frutescens (sili), Corchorus olitorius (saluyot), Amaranthus spinosus (uray/kulitis), Ipomea batatas (kamote).

These five plants are practically weeds in the countryside, and yet they contain the chemicals that can easily restore the sickly back to health - at a laughable price. Some people even see powerful anticancer drugs in them herbs/weeds -- who needs the Cheaper Medicines Bill? The poor has to rely on alternative medicine in these grossly unjust times.

In other news....

While you have news like this: Food crisis leaves many Afghans desperate, let’s not forget the other side of the so-called coin:

Britons wasting £10bn worth of food a year, research says

Half of US food goes to waste

In other news….

Malaysian woman can leave Islam

South Korea to build worlds first robot themed parks

Oh, Burma/Myanmar

Quick comment on what happened lately. Scores or tens or even hundreds dying in a storm is old news. But thousands? Hundreds of thousands? Apocalyptic is the word.

But I know what all of you are thinking about it relation to overpopulation.

(Thanks to our global correspondents)

Review: NFA rice

My brother's supply of premium rice (thank God for companies that give rice as part of fringe benefits) has been delayed for some reason, so it was a good opportunity to try snorting, Survivor-style, the NFA rice being peddled by government. The tabulated results, as they came in, are consistently appalling: The overpowering chemical flavor and rocky-road consistency destroyed all manner of possible enjoyment that can be had from this strain of rice, even with the creamiest dishes accompanying it. What a disastrous mutant, this rice.

NFA rice is simply inedible. To think I came prepared: I wasn't exactly expecting something like Basmati rice. The rice, at Php25/kilo, appeared innocuous enough at first, even deceptive enough to make you think it was lovingly treated with glutathione to achieve uniform whiteness.

Here's what I did to put it to the test:

Eat NFA rice with soy-marinated Bonuan bangus (milkfish). - I complained all throughout the meal, even while my mouth was full.

... with bamboo shoots, dessicated shrimp and Corchorus leaves (saluyot tops) in coconut cream. - All the delicate flavors were lost in the bouquet of naphthalene.

... with Bicol express. - Even the strong spices are no match.

...with Vigan longanisa. - I was crying by this time.

Public advisory: Before cooking, wash your NFA rice in soapy water as you would launder your soiled undies: at least three times. Then rinse just as often as you would cleanse the clingy conditioner on your hair: forever.

After cooking, maybe you can try sauteeing it in garlic oil. Then add Downy to soften the grain even more. Rinse.

Repeat procedure until all traces of polyvinyl chloride and titanium laudanum perfluoro-oxalate are no longer detectable.