Friday, August 29, 2003

Some Unsettling Things About Forgiveness and Repentance


Forgiveness requires metanoia, Greek for change of mind. (Mt. 4:17). Metanoeite is to change one's mind, i.e., in the mind of Christ. See Phil. 2:5: "Make the mind of Christ your own."


Refer also to Rom. 12:2: "…transformed by the renewal of mind".
To repent is to change one's mind.


Our natural temperament is but natural; it's our personality type. But it can be molded into character. That's what education is for. Someone who is mapusok, for example, can be molded into a good leader because it means he can decide in short notice without relying on others.


Repentance is a continuous process. Don't be too hard on yourself.


What is the mind of Christ or the nature of Christ anyway? Refer to Mt. 11:28-29: "Come to me all who labor and I will give you rest,… for I am meek and humble of heart.." Meek means gentle. Meekness requires strength.


"If your brother has anything against you,…be reconciled with your brother." - This means you have done something wrong against your brother. "The road going to God passes by your neighbor's house" so you better be in good terms with your neighbor. Forgiveness requires meekness and humility.


Forgiveness is not ritualism or formalism, puro porma lang. If you have wronged someone, settle with your opponent. If you are the one wronged, make an effort to forgive. Huwag itanim ang galit at siguradong tutubo ito.


In cases involving deep wounds, though, don't be too harsh on yourself. Give yourself time to heal. God sees through your heart's intention. You may choose not to talk anymore to the one you have forgiven, but at least, try not to remember!


Q: Is that possible?
A: You bet. It takes a lot to remember.


In confession, ask the priest not just to give absolution but also to pray for healing (of bad memories and deep wounds)


Q: After the prodigal son decides to come back to his father and recites all his evil deeds, what did he say next? What did his father say next?

A: None. The father didn't even let his son finish. The next scene is, he now talks to the servants to prepare a feast for his son's return.


If you have asked forgiveness but was denied of it, it's no longer your problem.


You can forgive and refuse to treat the person like before. It's your choice. What's important is you have forgiven from your heart.



If your need to burn the reminders of your past hurts, then do so. The devil uses these reminders to hone our resentments into a burning flame.



Biblical Montage



Discipline means "a way of living"; comes from the word disciple.


St. Jerome: "Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ."


On the Golden Rule (Mt. 7:12). Note that it is positive not negative: "Do unto others…" instead of "Do not do unto others…"


The Jews took care not to mention the name of God (Second Commandment) so they devised a means to restate things: hence, the 'theological passive form of sentence.


Ex.: "You will not be relieved of your sentence until you have paid up to the last penny."


Contrast this to "Amen, I say to you…."


Amen is a Hebrew word meaning "that's true/strong/sticks/stays." It is from aman<, to be firm or strong. Truth is something that remains the same. It comes from the Hebrew word emuna - "That's truth/stays/immutable"


Hebrew has no vowels. Traditional Hebrew words are triliteral (composed of three letters/consonants).


"To believe" in Hebrew is he emin. It means 'to be strengthened by the words you are clinging on to.' It is also the definition of faith.


Request to Scriptwriters: Subtlety, Subtlety, not Sentimentality


In the rare event that I actually contrived to park myself in front of the TV, it was to watch two über-melodramatic sob stories in 'simulcast'. It was about the stories of comedian Rene Requiestas and billiards champ Efren 'Bata' Reyes. Strangely, both men capitalized on their missing front teeth. (A plea to GMA 7 and ABS-CBN: Do you always have to engage every single TV show in a square-off? Hay, pasaway!)


I was able to watch only the latter half of both shows. I thought the newcomer comedian Long Mejia was quite good, but Anjo Yllana was quite a revelation. Keempee de Leon as his own father, though, didn't quite hack it. It was a girl who played Kris Aquino in that über-baduy movie Pido-Dida - I'm sure a classic camp by now, who caught my attention. I don't know her name.


Sidebar: I remember somebody's bitchy review of Kris Aquino's acting at the time: "It doesn't make a difference if she does comedy or drama. Whenever she acted, it's always a comedy." Look at Kris now after the movie Mano Po. Too bad the 'dramedy' genre wasn't yet invented at the time.


Now here's the crux of this blog post: I was irritated, though, to find the death scenes and other dramatic scenes very long. I know it was heavy drama, but you snip the tear-full moments and the scenes would have been as poignant, if not more so.


Attention, scriptwriters, can you cut down the superfluous dramatics? Can you try making a compromise between high art and pop art? But if over-sentimentality is what really the majority of audience wants, then I rest my case.


8.29.2003














The Dogma on Purgatory, Explained Simply



(Catholic dogma alert)



When we come face to face with God, we see ourselves as we are.


If we are to meet with the President, we'd be wise to put our best foot forward; it's the same with God. We would not want to come face to face with God in our shameful state. We would want to be cleansed first. We would want to be purged.


That's what purgatory is for. We would want to fling ourselves into its abyss if we are particularly dirty. (The Latin word purgatorium comes from the root word, purga, meaning cleanse. Purgatorium is an old hospital term related to sanatorium, crematorium, and so on.)


Heaven is a place of perfection; purgatory is a temporal state where all sinners shall stay "until [they] have paid up to the last penny." All souls languishing in purgatory are technically saved, heaven-bound.


The clearer Biblical reference to this place or state is 2Maccabees 12:39-46. Backgrounder: The Book of the Maccabees details the Maccabeean War - the violent war between the Jews and the pagan Greeks. For the first time in the history of the Jewish people, they experienced tremendous defeat. A closer look at what happened revealed that those who died relied on amulets, forbidden powers in the eyes of God-fearing Jews, instead of relying on God's protection alone.


"…Then Judas, that great man, urged the people to keep away from sin, because they had seen for themselves what had happened to those men who had sinned. He also took up a collection from all his men, totaling about four pounds of silver, and sent it to Jerusalem to provide for a sin offering, Judas did this noble thing because he believed in the resurrection of the dead. If he had not believed that the dead would be raised, it would have been foolish and useless to pray for them. In his firm and devout conviction that all of God's faithful people would receive a wonderful reward, Judas made provision for a sin offering to set free from their sin those who had died." (2 Maccabees 12:42-45)


This passage is a proof that there is forgiveness after this life, that we can pray for those who are dead. A soul, once its earthly body dies, cannot do anything about itself anymore. It would greatly appreciate the prayers for succor the living make on its behalf. But the suffering soul, in turn, can always pray for us.


Serious corollary questions: Do all souls have to go to purgatory?


Answer: No, the souls of saints (and martyrs) go straight to heaven. Saints are people who meant every single word they ever said, down to the last letter.


Question: Are souls sent to hell?


Answer: God does not send anyone to hell. It is the soul's choice. No one goes to hell by accident, just as no one goes to heaven by accident. It's all a matter of personal choice, or one's misuse of freedom. It's unthinkable why souls would choose to go to hell, but in the face of divine adjudication, souls do. Souls go to hell because they want to.


Another question: But the word "purgatory" is not found in the Bible?


Answer: But you believe in the Holy Trinity, right? FYI, the word "trinity" is not found in the Bible, either.


Unfortunately, Protestants have excluded the Book of the Maccabees and the entire Deuterocanonicals from their canon.


P.S.


To avoid paying up for your debts later, do your own purgatory now.


Marswatching


Have you seen Mars last last night? (The red planet, not the defunct spaceship-shaped disco club.) I forgot to take a good look because I was out for a bad appointment (joke).


The religious see the experience as a glimpse into the beauty of God's creation. Scientists see it as a phenomenon that happens only once in 60,000 years. Astrologers and the superstitious view the event as a bad omen. (Is there a badder omen than 9/11?)


I just missed the chance of 60,000 (light) years.


8.29.2003



Would you believe me if I tell you I've been seeing UFO's?


The Faux Mohawk


I've been watching for a year or two how long Pinoy boys would warm up to this punk rock-influenced hairstyle. In that period, I would see a smattering of guys courageous enough to sport it, but on the whole, not a lot are buying it.


This hairstyle looks good on men with a frame and a face approaching wiry. I've seen it on Hollywood actor Jake Glyenhaal (?) and other actors and models from the younger set. This year, it's slowly picking up some momentum among local actors. It looks good on actor Bernard Palanca. Even Bam-Bam Aquino is trying it, so I figure faux mohawk is reaching tipping-point status, ha ha ha! (Haven't you read that Tipping Point book?) I advise all guys out there to try it, and if your friends laugh at you, don't blame me.


8.29.2003




P.S.

Question: Do skinheads get a bad-hair day, too?

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Litany


(I hereby launch a new literary genre called the autistic blather or catatonic drivel. I guess this post would be enough for the whole week to make you, well, autistic.)

“Count your blessings,” they keep on yammering, “count your blessings.” And so here I am; I'm into a counting spree these days, like a Chinese accountant with an abacus. I couldn’t help it. Things just keep coming my way, in spite of the fact that I do not wish for them, in spite of the glowering fact that my general state of mind these days is a toss-up of being pissed off, stabbed in the back, bullied, and belittled. On top of which I am in the middle of a creative block, writing being the one thing that makes me extremely happy and feel fully alive and thus, living for the glory of divinity in me, if I go by St. Ireneus’ oft-quoted line.

In fairness, the advice was actually good for me. "Count my blessings." It figures: I have this tendency to compile, collect, collate, catalogue, enumerate, index, inventory, roll call, and list. It's a disease, I suppose. You can call it litanitis.

And indeed I am in the position to enumerate, if only I tried hard enough to look for the opportunities. The trigger to this uncontrollable drive to count and count again may yet be started by my discovery of a magazine and a book that only God knows I'd really, really appreciate. I’m referring to the literary magazine Granta, 'the magazine of new writing,' whatever that means. With the late lamented literary magazines in the local scene, I have stopped buying and reading magazines, disdaining everything extant as fluff and frippery…"Welcome to Mediocre Philippines, where a person’s worth is measured by his wallet, connections and looks." And now here comes Granta, full of writings that are non-categorizable - part-essay, part-short story, part-interview, part-journalism, etc. I can count it in among my favorite magazines, which was pretty slim since I last checked out Booksale for back issues of the New Yorker, Atlantic Monthly, and other such type of mags. (Note: I have yet to realize that all the writers I used to read have each found their respective niches in the mainstream glossies.) I receive all sorts of gift, but only God knows the secret desires of my heart, so blessed indeed have I felt for this one.

But there's this big but about being blessed and stuff: I notice that whenever I find myself glorying in life's plenitude, God unfailingly asks me something in return. And this bothers me a lot I get so cantankerous.

Whenever I find myself in the middle of a high, I can expect to go nowhere else but down. It’s not being pessimistic, it’s only logical. It’s the law of gravity.

The ‘falling down’ part is this: When God extends an undeserved kindness to me, He tries to soften me enough, for me to be able to practice some form of charity, something which I’ve always viewed as impossible on my own strength. God unfailingly asks me to extend my love and forgiveness to certain people I have long deemed unlovable, unforgivable, and thus irremediably irredeemable, extending it a little bit further beyond my accustomed limitations and definitions.
This doesn’t just mean swallowing my pride, but especially so, swallowing my hurt, which is, needless to say, unnatural, an exercise in masochism. I just couldn’t do it, which makes me feel so undeserving of God’s kindness. And this torments me so.

So I have to count, and keep on counting. I just need to feel that I am blest so much. Like, I have only to take into account the fact that the lanzones, rambutan and atis season passed by only after I’ve dirtied my thumbs peeling a kilo of them. I am a frustrated fruitarian, you know. Worth mentioning, too, are the lychee, longan, sineguelas, duhat, durian, santol, guyabano, and avocado seasons (avocado is the only fruit that contains cholesterol, according to a Chem. Eng. friend.). Have you ever heard or actually tasted the impossibly sour rattan fruit? How about marang and mangosteen? How I wish I could subsist on fruits alone without contracting gastric ulcer. I just love fruits - apples, grapes and oranges most especially. It’s not because these fruits possess some snob appeal; I just love them for what they are – the fragrance, the texture, the taste, the look, the total personality. I don't really care about what some people say about the healing properties of fruits; I already know that. Even my favorite ice cream is fruit-based – strawberry shortcake, apple glaze, mango. A favorite Filipino dish of mine is the ube jam. The ‘purple yam’ is not a fruit, I know, and the purple jam is strictly not a dish, of course, but it’s so purple it looks like a poisonous berry at the least. I feel so unhealthy when my diet doesn’t consist of at least an RDA of fresh fruit. Just make sure it’s not one of those disgusting varieties. People who verge on agnosticism and even those who are unapologetic believers can’t help questioning God why He invented such awful fruits as chesa, mabolo, or even the strictly-for-the-birds aratiles. Add to this durian when eaten as plain durian.

Thank goodness, too, for little surprises, like someone bringing mixed nuts: pecan, walnut; almond, hazelnut, macadamia, Brazil nut, pistachio, cashew - not knowing how much I'd appreciate tremendous diversity in whatever form. But the tastiest nuts, the poor should be thankful enough, remains the lowly peanut.

There are a precious few number of times I get this overwhelmed by such diversity, such exuberance. Like when I see a platter of different cheeses in the parties of the 'hoity-toity' - you know, as opposed to the hoi polloi: Brie, American, Camembert, edam, Swiss, cheddar, Muenster, ricotta, parmesan, mascarpone, bleu, brick, white, Cheshire, chevre, cottage, triple creme, cream cheese, goat, Gouda, mozzarella. Blue cheese has these variants: Bavarian, Danish, gorgonzola (Italian), Roquefort (French), Stilton (English). Of course, there's our very own kesong puti for a token patriotism in the area of dairy products.

One time I read an ad detailing the different sizes and shapes of Italian pastas, including a funny one molded into the size and shape of a rice grain, and I couldn’t distinguish between and among the -etti ending names. It's amazing how Italians could reinvent and improve on Marco Polo's most important Chinese discovery. (Did you see that award-winning ad?)

I take pleasure, too, in taking a peek at Aji Ichiban’s clean, sleek and attractive candy store on any given day. (Thank goodness I couldn't read Japanese.) Or the various breads on sale at half the price in French Baker each closing time - pone, scone, bagel, ciabatta, foccacia, oat bread, rye bread, wheat bread, bread stick, cheese bread, pumpernickel, pan de sal, baguette... (In contrast, my officemate Tetcha would proudly exclaim, "Monay lang ang alam ko!" Then she would laugh with the laughter of embarrassment.)

There's the astounding number of dog breeds in pet shops, too, if you want us to go on counting. I have long discovered that I love dogs, except when they poop, when they lick me, bark at me, bite me, and when they breed ticks. If we need a list, then I'll give one: shih tzu, poodle, Dalmatian, Akita, cocker spaniel, Pomeranian, dachshund, corgi (Cardigan, Welsh, Pembroke) pug, boxer, chihuahua, basenji, Belgian griffon, Great Pyrenees, Newfoundland, Mexican hairless, Leonberg, spitz (chow-chow, Pomeranian, Samoyed, keeshond), collie, mastiff, schnauzer, pinscher, English pointer, pekingese, basset hound, Irish wolfhound, Lhasa apso, Scottish terrier, Italian greyhound, pit bull terrier, golden retriever, elkhound, schipperke, Ibizan hound, borzoi, St. Bernard, German shepherd, Afghan hound, Great Dane, Japanese spitz, King Charles spaniel, Norwegian elkhound, bulldog, pointer, Spanish Labrador, bloodhound, Chesapeake Bay retriever, English foxhound, staghound, Belgian malinois, vizla, Spanish pointer, Airedale, Weimaraner, sheepdog, saluki, greyhound, rottweiler, Siberian huskies, Doberman, Maltese, miniature pinscher, Irish setter, beagle, Norwich terrier, American staffordshire, Rhodesian ridgeback, sharpei. (Again, Tetcha would say, "Askal lang ang aso ko!" Ha, ha, ha!)

Then there's the equally astounding number of fishes and aquatic life. Let's take some rest from enumerating this time. It might interest you to know that the lower forms of plants and animals, particularly algae and protozoa, exhibit extreme diversity not just in terms of appearance, but also in terms of life cycle. They're amazingly unlike vertebrates, which all go through the same meiosis routine. (Remember meiosis and mitosis?) Among mammals, one of the few taxonomic anomalies that baffle biologists to this day is the egg-laying, milk-feeding platypus. Think about these anomalies when dealing with the unicellular. Among the microorganisms, no two families have developmental and reproductive stages that are alike.

It might further interest you to know that there are so many kinds of monkeys in the world (or more accurately, primates - our cousins). If you want some monkey business, here's another list I have compulsively compiled after a Psychology journals project I had handled in the distant past: gentle grey lemur, Alaotran gentle lemur, bushbaby, ring-tailed lemur, potto (kinkajou), mangabey, siamang, sifaka, marmoset, tarsier, golden-headed tamarin, bonobo, orangutan, gorilla, gelada baboon, savannah baboon, chacma baboon, chimpanzee, capuchin, colobus monkey, guereza, macaque (the only occurring monkey in the Philippines), howler monkey, langur, hanuman, proboscis monkey, Japanese monkey, mandrill, Rhesus monkey, loris, squirrel monkey, owl monkey, brown lemur, ruffled lemur, guenon, gibbon, drill, long-tailed macaque, stump-tailed macaque, cynomolgus macaque, saki, patas monkey (hussar monkey), grivet, vervet, talapoin, titi, uakari. Almost all of these mammals are endangered.

Now, don't let me get started on the birds. Or reptiles. Or dinosaurs, for which I have grown some amount of disinterest.

I reckon here, too, the time Louie sold his hydroponics-grown lettuce in one plastic bag containing every 'cultivar' he has produced in his hydroponic farm. Never have I expected that even the lowly lettuce could come in such an astonishing variety – romaine (cos), cabbage lettuce, butterhead, lollorossa, Waldmann’s green, and the red, whorled variety, plus another one, the bitter arugula. Hydroponics is a soil-less farming where plant nutrition is made possible using Hoagland's solution. You'd only search the Internet or read Biochemistry books to get the exact formula. Otherwise, you can buy the chemical at affordable price. (This time, my brother Rommel stares suspiciously at my mesclun salad and says, "Ano ba 'yan, para tayong kambing!")

For choosing what I find worthy of an adventurous spirit, though - or whatever is left of it, I risk courting scathing remarks, like, “Ang sosyal naman.” I take umbrage whenever I hear that one being leveled at me, because it can actually mean “Pa-sosyal naman” (which odiously means, “You’re trying too hard.”), which in turn has the odious subtext, “Hindi naman bagay.” (“It’s a bit off; it doesn’t fit.”) It’s as though only wealthy people have got taste and the right to enjoy the better things in life, and so on and so forth. What is taste anyway? And does being wealthy automatically mean being rich? I have actually heard one snooty (if a bit delusional) fashion designer declare that only people in high stations can possibly be considered stylish. You can accuse me of shallowness, but what kind of bogus thinking is that? (Sorry, can't help it.)

Since I’ve ended up jabbering, I might as well refuse to leave out the fact that I get published every now and then, another reason to keep on rejoicing. Three times a year is an awfully bad record, but my worst has been one article in one whole year, so I can’t complain. Still, I have to endure the agony of not being published despite the fact that I seldom get writer’s block, and the anguish of seeing others talking about nothing and getting all the breaks. It’s terrible how publications churn out things. I am deafened by their silence on things that matter to me. I'm on the verge of giving it all up, if I still haven't. I guess I'd just write for the heck of it. It's not worth fighting out. It's not something worth earning my keep off. It's against my nature to compete, you know. Meantime, I need to find some other way to keep my body alive over the long haul, after I decide to give up my non-job. Like, become a temporary citizen of a richer country, perhaps?

Neither should I forget from this drivel the coming into my life (or more accurately, the life of my Community) an extraordinary spiritual director by the name of Fr. ‘Jun,’ a Bible scholar and a much sought-after resource speaker. It's because this priest has opened my eyes to the history of words, or their etymology, and their current meaning -- aside, of course, from an esoteric knowledge about the Bible. He’d constantly remind us his students to “always take the (Biblical) text in context,” to the point of badgering. "Context, context, context!"

He’s a polyglot, if that’s a casual thing to say for any individual. He can understand Aramaic, Jesus’ native language, i.e., while Jesus walked the earth in human form, and presently teaches Biblical Greek and Hebrew, the two ancient languages in which the Bible was written. Because he studied in Rome, he had to learn the official teaching languages, French and German, aside from the Italian, on top of his native Spanish, English, Tagalog and Ilonggo.

From his lectures, which we call Bible study, we learned that the word ‘creed,’ for instance, comes from the Latin root words cor (heart) and do (give). Combined, cor-do literally means ‘I give my heart’ and figuratively means ‘I give my life’ and thus ‘creed’ or ‘credo’ necessarily means ‘I'd die for this’. The Apostle’s Creed, consequently, means a prayer for which an apostle literally dies for or gives his or her life for. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Fr. Jun couldn’t help but gush at what's he's saying himself. “It’s the only prayer where you don’t ask God of anything, but rather, give something to God.”

From Father Jun, I learned that the current crop of Biblical translations, the best of them, in fact, are oftentimes insufficient in translating the beauty of the original Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic, with Fr. Jun constantly cautioning us that ‘Omnis traductor traditor.’ (“Every translator is a traitor.”) English, he says, couldn’t catch the nuance of the ancient languages, particularly the different conjugations of verbs in Greek, which he considers to be the most perfect language in terms of verb tenses.

Whenever I could, I proudly serve this priest by carrying his laptop computer from wherever he conducts his lectures, all the way to the parking lot. But the only ploy to get him really, really happy is to be there, to just listen intently, to take notes and take to one’s heart everything he has lectured about.

Sometimes, he apprises us of what we have learned. Oftentimes, though, he learns to his dismay that we forget so easily. He would then call us "geniuses" - “knowing that geniuses,” he says “tend to be forgetful.” He manages to make a potential insult turn into an unexepected compliment. Interestingly, he would always say absent-mindedly in the middle of an engaging digression, “Oh where am I? What am I saying?” Ok, now, we get the drift.

Let's go back to the matter of flaccid English translations of the Bible for which Fr. Jun has a lot of problems to solve. One night, Fr. Jun was discussing the Biblical word "love." Of course we know love and its different manifestations. Yes, even love comes in different varieties: eros (erotic), estorges (parental), filia (friendship), and the much-discussed agape. (The stress is on the second syllable, Fr. Jun corrects us: a-ga'-pe. He always has the right pronunciations: rab-bi', sab-bath', a-men', etc.) We would inevitably be focusing on the last one, agape, which other ancient religious texts do not contain, or so he says. It is such a flagrant omission, he says, that it makes the Bible even more special. “Only Jesus could explain agape love because only Jesus understood what God’s love is.”

“Why did Jesus say, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ or worse, ’Love your enemies’”? Fr. Jun continues. Curiously the English-language Bible fails to articulate the nuances of the Greek. What Jesus actually said in the original text is agapate, a gentle command to love, instead of the more commanding agapesate (a-ga-pe'-sa-te), which means ‘love once and for all.’ A-ga-pa'-te, Fr. Jun says, means not just ‘love,’ but ‘love and continue to love (your enemies).’” Jesus was preaching nothing less than unconditional love!

Fr. Jun conducts his Bible studies using a presentation software that allows him to switch from the original Hebrew and Greek texts to their English and Latin versions. Once, he told us in an earnest voice to read the Greek and Hebrew versions, and we, of course, could only guffaw at the ridiculous thought of figuring out the betas from the thetas. But no, he encouraged his stunned spectators not to be daunted. The result: we had an unexpected lesson in the classical languages.
He even manages to get his audience - an assortment of company managers and employees in Makati - to repeat after himself like schoolchildren. “When you go to Greece” (and he’d been to Greece), “you’d hear the Greeks say 'Eucaristw,’ (pronounced ef-ha-ris-to') which means ‘Thank you,’ and someone would always answer, ‘Parakalw’ (pronounced pa-ra-ka-lo'), meaning “Please’ (short for “Please, don’t mention it.’).” "Would you repeat it? Pa-ra-ka-lo,'" he'd ask, and believe or not, we would, like pupils. "Parakalo." "Efaristo." (We'd better do, or we'd receive some dressing down.)

Fr. Jun is just being properly stern. He possesses special knowledge. It's not everyday that you meet someone like that. He is so fond of quoting important literary works as well as famous and not-so-famous personages. For example, he wraps up a topic with a quote from Dante Alighieri: “In Your will is our peace.” Another time, he quoted a mathematician as saying, "Chance is the measure of man's ignorance."

But it is the quotes that come from him that I find heartbreaking – to my own surprise. At the end of a recent talk, he closed with, “For as long as you cannot forgive, you are not free.”
I must include in this enumeration of blessings my health, my being alive; everybody else in the family being intact; my job, no matter how hopelessly boring, together with the dangers of commuting through the metro’s hellish traffic; my dwelling place, no matter how relatively humble and the fact that it’s being rented by me (at a low price, though); my being in Metro Manila, although I wish it was free of all sorts of pollution and crime. As gratitude to God goes, I guess this should end with an infinite “etc. etc.”

I know that’s far from the truth, though. The truth is, this time of my life must really be the pits. I must be actually languishing in a limbo that I have to do this counting at all. Once again, I could feel God is asking me to extend my definition of love, to include in the definition my enemies, but I just couldn’t do it. Going by the account of my recent battles with persons I love to hate, this must be the lowest of my emotional lows because I’m beginning to scrounge for things in life that would delight me anew, things that would keep on reminding me that life on the whole is good, when it doesn’t suck some of the time.

11.19.2002

Evil Has a Ripple Effect


Look at how evil manages to engulf us all.


You cannot use a cell phone when making a bank transaction, even when texting is the most logical activity to stave off the horrors of interminable waiting. I don't exactly know the reason why cell-phone ban inside banks became an ordinance in Makati City, but I'm sure I only have big-time crime to thank for.


Your have to go through the gauntlet of security checks before you get inside a mall or any major establishment. Thank you, Abu Sayyaf, for the paranoia.


You are given the embarrassing once-over at the embassies of the First World just because you're Filipino. You can't blame them. The statistics on illegal Filipino aliens is staggering.


You can't just accommodate total strangers with the kindness you ought to give. They might be the budol-budol gang hell-bent on hypnotizing lone targets into surrendering their ATM cards, jewelry and land titles.


You can't just offer a ride to someone pitifully drenched in the rain; he could be a poseur who might hold you up. He might be a member of a kidnapping syndicate.


These are thoughts spawned by yesterday's evil: 15 or so armed men barging into the Citibank Tower (Paseo de Roxas cor. Makati Av., Makati City), an important landmark among credit-card holders like me.


The bigger news is, bank security failed to give Makati police the automatic alarum. They failed to press the ubiquitous, direct-connection, distress-signal button. Of course, Jejomar Binay was sore like the devil.


Surely goodness, too, has it own ripple effect? Let's all prove it to our enemy's face.


8.27.2003





Walang Ganyan sa States!


Last night on EDSA Magallanes, what did I see blocking the lane nearest the sidewalk but a mobile disco-cum-MMDA van letting out techno music - another brainchild surely of Chair Bayani Fernando? It was ensconced there presumably to monitor motorists whether they are obeying the latest traffic rules. Now there's a rave party if I ever saw one. No one was dancing, though. I could have, but I didn't want to be mistaken for a Mandaluyong case.



8.27.2003


Addendum to List of Newfangled Sex Orientations


Babaeng Bakla (Gay Girl) - someone who exhibits an ostentatiously gay behavior while appearing indubitably female; someone worse than Maricel Soriano


Consider this scandalous take of a GMA 7 reporter as she rats on the US FAA's high approval rating for NAIA:



"Aaaiee (screeches like a jeep beating the red light), alam mo ba Papa Mike (Enriquez, not Arroyo) na binigyan ever ng Federal Aviation Administration ng Amerika ang NAIA, ever, ng mataas na approval rating kamakailan? Oh yees, Papa Mike (Enriquez, not Velarde), malaking puntos itoh para sa Oh Philippines My Philippines, blah-blah-blah, say moh Papa Mike (Enriquez, not Defensor)? " Blah-blah-blah, FAA, talak-talak-talak (talsik laway), security sa NAIA ever, oh di bah, nakakalokah? Blah-blah-blah, ever, Papa Mike! Babuuuu!"


('Di umubra ang dila ni Papa Mike! What did she say??)


For the Channel 2 counterpart, temper the gay-girl routine with some pa-girl attitude (lots of eyelash-batting), reduce the volume to normal, turn on to MONO, and replace Papa Mike with Papa Erwin (Tulfo, not Pidal).


Ang huhusay!


8.27.2003



A Word on Papa Mike



I chanced upon Papa Mike on AM radio scolding his staff:


"Ano ba, mas mabilis pa ang bunganga ko kaysa sa daliri n'yo!!!"



(Aba siyempre naman, no? Ano ba yan, Papa Mike, masyado po kayong high blood!)


8.28/2003






Monday, August 25, 2003

Maxing-Out Redux


How do you do NLEX and SLEX in a day? I just did Sunday. With Tito Mel on the wheel, Kuya Gerry, Aaron, little Paolo and I rushed to our outreach in Meycauayan, Bulacan, all of them coming all the way down south from San Pedro, Laguna. We were joyful to find our brothers and sisters in Christ in good stead. This makes me feel like I belong to a cult, honestly, but what of it? Christianity is a cult.


Before these guys got my cell phone ringing, I was monitoring an Iglesia ni Cristo show on Channel 7 and, instead of being insulted and irritated, I laughed so hard when a good-looking 'kapatid' of Eraño Manalo's frothed at the mouth lambasting the Catholic tradition of 'worshiping' graven images. I can't believe they're still at it, a century hence of badmouthing. Imagine me worshiping a cow! Why in hell would I do that? Why would anyone? Even if you're not a Catholic - and I have no intention of converting anyone reading this blog, would you say Catholic images represent those of a bull or a cow or a stupid diyos-diyosan? I debated with the guy mentally. Bro (colloquial English for kapatid), the operative word in Biblical interpretation is context, context, context. And context comes in three levels - literal, historical, sociocultural. And it's not about worshiping idols, bro, it's about venerating holy entities. I was enjoying myself famously when my cell phone rang. It was Tito Mel, Gerry and company.


***


On the road, we were laughing so hard when this question was popped up by somebody: When is mutiny a mutiny and when is it a legal power grab? No doubt everybody's favorite question these days. The answer: When mutineers win, it's no mutiny, it's legit. I chanced upon broadcaster Eli Salazar saying this. My take on it: When mutineers win with a backing by an overwhelming civilian component (read: the powerful middle classes), it's essentially a democratic victory; after all, the majority rules, di ba? - and who writes history as we know it but always the victors, di ba?


Then our company got schizophrenically saddened by these thoughts. Not even the optimistic note that it took America decades before it fully recovered from the disastrous ashes of civil war could get our spirits melancholy-free. (Dick Gordon mentioned an exact figure on TV but I couldn't remember.)


The other inescapable question: Do we really have to go through a civil war like Liberia and countless other pitiful nations before we achieve our goal of economic and sociopolitical stability? Answer: We've always been there through the skin of our national teeth several times over.


Conclusion: God is unjustifiably good to Filipinos. There's always divine intervention to deliver us up from our (self-inflicted?) daemons.


Sidebar: Meycauayan is an ancient town of gold jewelry makers, cowhide processors, and tilapia raisers.


After our lunch of pancit and menudo, I was once again all by my lonesome malling. I was driven through the angry sheet of an ensuing rain to SM Bicutan, a location I find to be spectacularly boring. (Sorry Henry Sy, forgive me, I'm a pathetic snob.) One creature amused me, though - a guy who was wearing the most offensive mullet I've ever seen, bar none, one for www.ratemymullet.com, I swear! Then there's the karate-do competition joined in by boys with barely perceptible Chinese genes, their respective moms tagging along. (I got tired watching after a minute; I have seen those chops in Hero and Crouching Tiger.)


I don't think being alone in life is my calling. I decided to treat myself to fend off an impending depressive state. I decided to be selfish this time by shopping around purely for my own delectation even though, I swear to God, I hate shopping even if I had all the money in the world. Even online shopping would be such a drag for me I never tried it. (Not that I could easily afford it.) For once, I felt the need to reward myself and to say that I don't owe the world a thing; I deserve to enjoy the world as much as anybody else without incurring any burden of guilt.


One text message, though, that made me shed a surreptitious tear or two lately (read: crocodile tear), and I seldom cry over an inspiring text message, was one from my friend Dr. Tuquero: "The world is full of givers and takers. The takers eat and dress well, but the givers sleep better." Of course, I always sleep well except when I've drunk too much Coke, coffee or iced tea. My problem is, even if I've slept like a log, there's this nagging thought that it's bad to be always selfless. That I could love my neighbor should always be predicated on the fact that I love myself first. This is not selfishness but healthy self-love. It's only logical. I figure I got to constantly test myself whether my selflessness is a kind of "selfish selflessness" - you know, trying to be good to other people because of an agenda, something which lies so deep in one's heart that only God can see it.


Healthy self-love or watchamacallit took the form of shopping for new underwear and a pair of currently-in-vogue, reissue Puma sneakers (Roma model). I like the royal-blue suede one with plain white stripes, but I decided against it and chose a white glossy leather with a navy-blue stripes after the sales boy confirmed my fear that the model I first chose sells like hotcakes among my favored demographic (high school to college age). I also checked out the CD and VCD racks in Odyssey and elsewhere but I found nothing fanciful enough. I was intrigued, though, how that guy Michael Bublé reinterprets Frank Sinatra standards. I proceeded to buy a short-sleeved polo with that playful pinstripe design but I couldn't find a single version of it. (They're most likely sold out considering the number of guys I've seen wearing it in my automatic check-for-the-zeitgeist crowd-watching. It takes a considerable effort to try to have that 'current' look. Vanity is a very hard work.)


At the end of the day, I was asking myself whether my actions, which scratched my credit card more than necessary, were actually more of trying to be in keeping with the high school and college students I serve in Community (a service that runs counter to my personal preferences and comfort zone), the better to understand and befriend them. It's the same reason why I continue to keep track of MTV (not just because of Sarah Meier), movies, computer games, cable TV hit shows, fashion trends, favored lingo, bars, nightspots, show biz celebrities, sports, gears, dance steps and all manner of things fashionable, which unfortunately force me to down-age and be not myself - all for the love of the youth, I guess, to which I hopefully belong still. I just have to continue to have an intimate feel of their sub-culture, you know, and I guess if you've been reading me and my obsession about nirvana-ish detachment from the world, you'd understand how torturous this could be. I even find the need to purchase and learn how to play a guitar, one thing I have given up on, many times over in the past! Would you believe I have missed a lot of movies, from Matrix II to Nemo, because I neither have the time nor the inclination as I happened to be very busy at the time? Choosing to be unselfish also has a high price if you look at it through the prism of selfishness.


You must have reached this point hoping there’d be an insight or hindsight to tie everything up together? There’s none.



8.24.2003

Fiddling with FM Radio


This is something I haven't done for years.


(Twist the knob to the right.) Everybody sing: "Because of you, my life has changed. Thank you for the love and the joy you bring…" Local names to watch: Nyoy Volante, Jimmy Bondoc, Paolo Santos.


(Twist knob to the left.) Who doesn’t know this gothic girl of the 'gothic rock' group Evanescence singing like a friendly ghost from medieval age? I call it funereal rock and I'm not being disparaging.


(Twist knob to far right.) Luther Vandross once again interprets a song beautifully, "I'd rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself."


(Back to center.) There's John Meyer, too. Beautiful, non-aggravating voice; an anti-Linkin Park voice. (Sorry, Tammy Z., I know how much you love L.P.)


(Twist knob to far left.) Sergio Mendes is back from cryogenic freeze! I discovered Sergio Mendes because an older officemate constantly harped that the late '60s to the early '70s is the best period in music history. How can you argue with that, especially when presented with such corroborating evidence as Mais Que Nada, One-Note Samba, Bridges, etc.?


(Got tired of it.)Regine has a nice new song, in the spirit of fairness, balance and objectivity.


(Knob accidentally twisted.) Have you heard of this hysterically silly DJ who has this routine: "Magandang umaga po! Nakikita nyo po ba yang katabi nyo sa jeep na mamang naka-red? Snatcher po yan! Bantayan nyo pong mabuti and bag nyo o wallet nyo! Good morning, good morning, good morning!." I just heard his voice. No, it's not Martin D., someone far, far worse.


For one hour, I just twisted the knob here and there, to the opposite ends of the spectrum. I turned the darned thing off.


I felt so Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon, or their famous character -- grumpy old man.


8.24.2003






Noteworthy


Eric Caruncho's Aug. 24, 2003 essay on ambient and chill-out music.


Rosario Garcellano's Aug. 17, 2003 travelogue: Shanghai


8.24.2003


That GMA-GMA 7 Debacle




I haven't followed closely enough the Tina Panganiban-GMA 7 versus Pres. GMA fiasco, but I beg to disagree in certain respects of the prevailing arguments. What was the context of the uncontrolled presidential temper that led to public humiliation of a media person? The country was yet again on the verge of a civil war, di ho ba? My belief is, all citizens - not the least media persons, or especially media persons - have the duty to rally around their beleaguered President, the Constitution, and all democratic institutions. I believe we should be protective of the protectors of our democratic freedom, even if we don't personally like its President, by assuming a war-like stance against our common enemy. The mere special coverage of suspected rogue personalities, whether they verbalize an incitement to sedition or not, whether they are heavily edited and properly annotated or not, lends a certain glamorizing (and legitimizing) afterglow to the interviewees' trimedia images, particularly if these interviewees are endowed with the right (read: telegenic) face and charisma. I personally do not mind a curtailment of certain freedoms (a less-balanced news coverage) or even a state-requested media blackout, if only to protect our very own survival as a democracy. It's a problematic position to take, but it is several-magnitude more dangerous had the rebels won by merely being mediagenic via a remote, clandestine telecast. If you don't believe in the power of the media as an unwitting glamorizing (and indeed legitimizing) force, reflect on how Noli de Castro and Loren Legarda consistently top all presidential-timber surveys and Gringo Honasan won twice over in the Senate race despite an enduring crime against the State. I have watched GMA 7's Mare and Pare once and I turned off the TV as soon as I opened it because I couldn't stomach the overwhelming number of people siding with Trillanes et al. It's just so scary and appalling that a lot of people find the mutineers' deed legitimate.


8.23.2003


The Male Crotch in Our Face



If you have doubts that homosexual sensibilities are ruling our world today apart from showbiz lingo, perish your doubts. Take the NLEX and the SLEX for the proof. After the exposure and eventual acceptance of the female breast in popular fashion tastes, now comes the sudden commercial preponderance and pride in…the male crotch.


This is quite unthinkable five years ago, isn't it? - as unthinkable as teenage boys pushing their girlfriends' panty liners (how do I put that more decently?), and men unseemly pushing shampoo, hair conditioners and skin care products.


But of course, ads of men in briefs are nothing new. The big difference is, these are now blown-up in atmospheric proportions, mostly using handsome local actors in carefully maneuvered beefcake pose as models. A few faceless Caucasians (oops, reverse racism alert) have made it, though. I know this is just a local ripple of that brassy billboard ad featuring Mark Wahlberg in his Calvin Klein skivvies, in a pose supposedly meant to be sexy. It was a time when males suddenly became sex objects like women, and a time when lifestyle pundits shouted hooray to the equality of the sexes as sexpots. (I don't remember seeing that ad, though.)


Correct me if I'm wrong, but for the local counterpart, I think the "honor" must belong to Ben Chan's Bench ads featuring an unembarrassed Richard Gomez and his nonchalant, barely-covered privatals. Do you remember that funny large building mural of Jomari Yllana whose crotch, covered in white Bench briefs, happens to be an open window?

This prude, though, has to admit that the current crop of ads are so far done tastefully - if a full-blown ad of somebody's perceptible privates can ever be tasteful. You know, it could be yours or your brother's or your uncle's groin! Frankly, though, much as I strive to be open-minded, I am more embarrassed about men fiddling with previously 100% feminine preoccupations. What's next? Beauty tips for men? Gosh, that would be the end of 20th century civilization.


Interestingly, the only ads of female underwear and period hygiene that are as readily visible on the North-South expressways are far more conservative they are so shocking. The female ads, by contrast, have evolved into a euphemism at best, fit for an allegedly conservative society as ours. One such ad features Sarah Meier in a Wacoal underwear set rivaling an economically cut office/day wear in eye-catching potential. The only photograph of a woman I find eye-popping enough is more awe-inspiring than sexually titillating if only because she is fully clothed: that of beautiful singer slash model Aliya Parcs in an all-white Manels getup, near the Villamor (Nichols) interchange and almost abutting that dangerous curve of the Skyway. Last time it was Pia Guanio's exclusive spot. Parcs' is a proof that women need not dress up like mermaids to be sexually alluring.


Is society being, um, 'hunky-dory' about hunks being almost stark-naked? Why is it that no one seems to be noticing that the 'emperor' has no clothes? And why the ensuing ruckus when women undress to the bare essentials - and the ensuing silence and turn-a-blind-eye stance when men do?


I have one hazardous explanation, like always. It is because men are proven to be psychologically more visual than women, who in turn are more emotional when it comes to initial sexual attraction. Semi-nude women matter a lot to the male eye while semi-nude men are invariably heckled, tolerated, if not altogether ignored - by both sexes.


Except, surely, by some men who most likely conceptualized the ads?



8.24.2003


Saturday, August 23, 2003

Acsa Ramirez is Acquitted!!!


Remember Acsa, the whistleblower who became the wrongfully accused, forefingered no less by the President in the latter's bid for "a strong republic"? Acsa was reportedly acquitted by whichever court the case was filed in.


This is a long-overdue vindication, my fellowmen, for the lowly Landbank (Katipunan branch) cashier. This is, as well, the lowest point for the Macapagal administration and Wycoco's office because of their insistence not to issue a public apology for a very public humiliation Acsa has endured, not counting the post-traumatic effects of this tragicomic false witnessing: psychological and emotional stress, an almost irreversible damage to her and her family's reputation and, if my secret sources are right, one count of miscarriage.


The administration's desire to effect a much-longed-for societal change is no doubt laudable, but it is just as laudable, if not exemplary, an act for government to uphold human rights in all instances, especially where it involves would-be heroes/heroines.


As of this writing, mediapersons are being invited not to a usual press conference, but to a thanksgiving lunch sometime next week. Be there at Landbank (Roxas Blvd.) to commiserate with and congratulate Ms. Ramirez. (Oh, wait, she's on maternity leave. And I don't think she'd want to be interviewed at the moment.)


Ate Glow, Sir Wycoco, it's never too late. There's dignity in owning up to our honest mistake.


8.23.2004


(You've read it here first, first.)


'Real Men Read Poetry'


Terrence Rafferty (GQ Apr. 2003): "Why are so many people afraid of poetry?"


Billy Collins (American poet laureate): "If you were to play literary psychoanalyst, along Freudian lines, to people with a poetry phobia, you'd try to get them to talk their way back to the point at which the trauma occurred. And it probably occurred in a classroom, where they were made to feel stupid by a teacher presenting a poem. There's a kind of alienation that takes place on those early classroom experiences. Plus, poetry has a lot of old barnacles of stereotypes attached to it: you know, it's irrelevant, it's effeminate, it's 'all bluebirds and bonnets'. (Pauses) But it is the history of the human heart. We have fiction, we have history books, we have diaries, but we have in poetry thousands and thousands of years of carefully documented human feeling. That's nothing to be dismissed. And it's a shame to trivialize that to denigrating images of what poets do, and a shame to see that connection sundered through faulty teaching as a kind of misapprehension poetry can bring."


Check out Poetry 180 for non-snobbish poems.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

English is a Queer Language, nth version


Lets face it: English is a terrible language.


There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither
pine nor
apple in the pineapple.


English muffins were not invented in England.


French fries were not invented in France.



We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes,
we
find that a quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and
a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.


If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be
phone
beeth.


If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.


If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian
eat!?


Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?


Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?



You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language ...


Where a house burns up as it burns down.


You fill in a form by filling it out.


A bell is only heard once it goes!




English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity
of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all).


That is why when the stars are out they are visible,
but when the lights are out they are invisible.


And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts
but when I wind up this story it ends?


Some foods for thought:


Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?


Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?


Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?


If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make
terrible?


Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?


Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in
the
universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet
paint you
will have to touch it to be sure?


If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does
he

become disoriented?


If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from
Holland
called "Holes?"


-who did this?



Biblical Minutiae



Yod (י, y) is the "smallest letter of the law," i.e., the smallest letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The "smallest part of the letter" include, of course, the heavy strokes in such letters as the aleph (א), the first letter. The dots that accompany the consonants actually indicate the vowels.


The Hebrew language is read from right to left, like Arabic.


Br'shith (מישארב, read be-re-shith) is the first word of the Hebrew Bible, meaning "In the beginning".


The Saturday-night anticipated Mass is based on the traditional Jewish calculation of the start and end of a day - from sundown to sundown, so technically, Saturday by sunset is already Sunday. Our own version of Sunday is called by the Jews as "the Lord's Day."


There are a total of 613 laws - from the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20), the Torah (first five books of the Bible or the Pentateuch), and the Old and New Testaments.


Among the world's languages, only the Hebrew language features a word that points at the object of a verb.


When the Hebrew juxtaposes two extremes, it means everything in between is included: "good and evil," "heaven and earth."


The English translations of the Bible from the original Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek are sometimes poor translations. Look at the word 'anger' in Mt. 5:21-48 on forbidden anger. In the Greek, there are two kinds of anger, thymos, the anger that passes and orgē (ē is eta, not epsilon, so it's a long e), the anger that remains. It is orgē that is forbidden by God, not thymos, which is but a natural reflex. Interesting, St. Paul would say later, "Don't let the sun set down on your anger…"


(Reflexes are of course not bad in themselves; these are natural and neutral like fire and water which have the potential for both good and bad.)


The Sanhedrin is the Supreme Court of the Jews, not a local court.


"Gehenna" has this etymology: It comes from Hinnon Valley, the valley lying below Jerusalem. It was the Smokey Mountain (Tondo) of the Jews in the olden times, a dumpsite where there's always fire and smoke, hence, an apt metaphor for hell.



Matthew's Beatitudes ("Blessed are the poor in spirit, etc.") does not refer to different kinds of person, but to a single person, i.e., one who is 'poor in spirit.' This is a Semitic way of thinking where thoughts occur in ripples, i.e., there is a general thought or a core statement, followed by succeeding sentences that elaborate on the lead sentence ('those who mourn,' 'those who are meek,' 'those who are merciful').


Then there's the Semitic concept of circularity: When a writer begins and ends with roughly the same thought, the write-up is meant to be read as one whole unit.



Jesus upset the existing worldview of the Jews in terms of the meaning of earthly wealth. Consider these conflicting passages:


"It's better for a camel to enter the eye of the needle than for a rich man to enter the heaven." Or "If you want to enter heaven, sell everything you have and follow me." Both of which contradict passages with a promise like this: "…and your barns will be full, etc."



Jesus is not telling them (or us) to indeed sell everything we have or that being reasonably wealthy in this life is sinful. He was just exposing the ancient Jews' motivation for following the law. The Jews have this long-standing belief that if you follow the laws of the Lord or His will in your life, you will get materially rich in consequence. Jesus was simply telling them (and us) that justice and holiness should be based on our love for the Father, not on any other motivation. We obey the law because of our love for God and not of our love (or fear) of the law. We should love the Lord (the giver) of the gifts not the gifts of the Lord. The measure of love is to love without measure.


The ancient Jews didn't get the message. Hope we do.


8.21.2003


Nota bene: For all of Jesus' criticisms of the Pharisees ("Woe to you scribes and Pharisees…"), he still considered them righteous when He said in the New Testament passage, "Your righteousness should exceed that of the scribes and the Pharisees."




Toltec Wisdom for the Workplace

10.


"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book about ancient Toltec practical wisdom. We can also view these "Agreements" as the four important principles we routinely violate in the workplace. Let's try to go over these agreements once again and see for ourselves how we can adapt it at work.


1. Be impeccable with your word.


This can mean, 'Say what you mean and mean what you say.' Never make flatteries, at least when you're being serious - not even when directed to your boss. Do not swear. Do not make a false oath. Never lie in order to deceive. Do not insult or curse your employer/employee or coworkers - in their face or behind their back, or your curses all come back to you. Avoid gossip like the plague, and never repeat those you've heard. Never believe rumors and hearsay until verified by facts. Avoid putting your employer or coworkers in a bad light.


Bear in mind, though, that talking about public matters, including the expression of opinion, is not gossip. But give your opinions only when asked, and be sure that if it's critical, it should be at least constructive. Just keep on focusing what is up-building to everyone in the company.


Keep what's private and personal private and personal. When your job itself is being affected because of personal matters, confront the wrong-doer (a) head-on, to avoid unnecessarily aggravating non-concerned parties, (b) privately, to avoid public humiliation, (c) at the soonest possible time, to avoid repetition of the mistake; and (d) as calmly as you can, to ensure objectivity and avoid being emotional. If all else fail, (e) refer the problem to a higher-up. If the offender keeps on repeating the same mistake but shows a desire to improve, be charitable by granting some space and time for improvement.


Of course, all the above are at best idealistic. The dynamics of human interaction is never simple. People being people, we will always rub each other the wrong way. Your duty is not to prevent conflict from ever happening; you can control only what you can -- yourself.


2. Don't take anything personally.


It's not about you, at least not always. It's more about the situation or the other person. Don't limit your worldview to what you know and what your eyes can see. Open your mind; no, stretch it out. Be more understanding of people, including yourself. The Bible says forgive seventy times seventy times. 'To understand all is to forgive all.' Tall order, but it makes sense. It's always a challenge to be always ready to forgo, forbear, forgive - including yourself. But it's not merely a challenge, it is a duty. After all, you are not exactly innocent, either. This way, your observations won't get colored by your emotions. Either that, or jump ship or take a leave if things get humanly unbearable.



3. Don't make assumptions.



Like an officemate said, "Assumption is the mother of all mess-ups." Always see the good in your coworkers. If you have to assume anything, assume that they, too, don't mean any harm or contemplate evil on purpose; it could also be that they are trying to be kind or playful. If something is mysterious, too discomfiting to you or beyond your grasp, don't be afraid to ask. And always ask the right person, or you unwittingly sow intrigue and come off as a busybody.



4. Always do your best.



We only live once, so we have to give our best shot, live through the day as though it were the last. This is not so much about competing with others as competing against oneself. If we have to outdo each other, then let's outdo one another in service and generosity.


But first, this involves finding our passion in life, or more accurately, finding our passion for living in general, i.e., life in all its splendor, including all the pain and mystery. The passion for living and love for what you're doing will spell the difference between having a job and making a living - or between making a living and getting a life. Once you've found your one true passion - which according to itinerant preacher Bo Sanchez is your calling, you don't have to work a single day in your life again. Imagine a world where everybody has found his one true passion/calling in life and you get a world of happy and fulfilled individuals - who needs to feel envious and competitive?



7.4.2003


(Transcript of an AIM speaker's graduation speech, most likely)

Happiest Days




By Eduardo A. Morató, Jr.


The happiest days of schooling do not happen during,
or even at the end of, a long and grueling but good
academic course. It happens long after that, when,
inexplicably, you have become a much wiser person who
is able to bring all life’s learnings to bear on your
business, your family, friends, community, and
country. The happiest days are when you find true
fulfillment as a person, when you hold eternity in
the palm of your hand, when everything you touch turns
into a blessing. Some of you may be too young to
appreciate this. You may still be too overwhelmed by
the world and the countless opportunities and
problems it brings. You may still be obsessively concerned
about making money or making a family, making friends
and enemies along the way.


From where I stand, as a teacher to thousands who
have come and gone to AIM, most especially the chosen
few who have become my lifelong mentees, the
happiest, and sometimes saddest, days occur a few years later
down the road.


Six months ago, I was visited by four ladies from
Batch 1 of the ME graduating class. The first lady,
in her mid thirties, was finally, finally getting
married, and she was bubbling with ideas on new
business ventures with her soon-to-be-husband. She
seemed undeterred by risks. She was confident that
most of them would succeed, even if she has had a
setback or two in previous ventures. I inquired about
her big gambit when she put up a P20-million
conference center using borrowed funds in Mindanao.
“Oh that,” she replied matter-of-factly. “It’s doing
well. Over the last weekend alone, it was able to
earn P1.5 million.” Excitedly, she talked about the other
enterprises she created – an Asian tea house here, a
Mongolian barbecue restaurant there, a kitchen
equipment company somewhere in between, plus a few
more. She sounded blissfully content.


I asked the second lady about the candy store chain
she had started. It suffered a P6 million fire loss
while she was taking the ME. Triumphantly, she
boasted, “From 20 stores then, I now have 63 outlets,
many of them franchisees just like I had planned in
ME.” From what I recall, the number 63 far exceeded
even our most optimistic projections way back then.
She and her husband have, together, learned the art
of nurturing mini entrepreneurs who all seem to be
thriving well. Obviously, her past setbacks have
served to strengthen and embolden her.


As for the third lady, last I visited the provincial
department stores her family owned, new competitors
had sprouted to challenge them. Her family, including
two brothers from the same ME batch, was struggling
to fend off the challengers. During our lunch, she
beamed, “Our sales are growing while competition is
struggling. Our countermoves worked.” She and her
brothers reengineered, reinvented and repositioned
their department stores and the different sections
they were in charge of. The sister-and-brothers act
proved invincible. I was happy for all three of them,
especially their parents who proudly cheered from the
sides, a picture of a harmonious family.


The fourth lady was a very intelligent and astute
woman who managed part of the family’s business
empire. She too had grown sales, streamlined
operations and increased profits. But she shocked me
when she blurted, “My mother fired me. She suddenly
took all the money out of the coffers and left the
business with no working capital. She doesn’t trust
me or my brothers and sister.” I reflected a bit on that
last one. It reinforced what I have been preaching
all along to my ME students who are COOs or children of
owners. I tell them that it is essential to forge a
family plan first before doing a business plan. I
have seen far too many families break up because parents
want too much control, siblings wrangle over business
carcasses like hungry hyenas, children demand their
immediate independence, in-laws and relatives jump
into the fray for leftovers. Family members fight
over money as if they could take it to the grave with
them.


In the process, they give up on love, they give up on
caring for one another, they give up on family. In
the end, no one ends up wiser than before and all the
learnings from the ME and all other courses
previously taken have become absolutely useless.
the most painful part of being a guru is not failing
a student who did not do his or her work. The most
excruciating part is seeing a spirit destroyed. One
mentee of mine did not graduate, not because his
business was doing poorly but because he had to give
up control of the enterprise to his sibling. Although
he owned the majority of the shares, he left the
company because he was despondent over his mother’s
death, which he attributed to much heartache they
caused her from too many fights. I did not give him a
degree because he failed in one of our most crucial
tests in the ME – Self-Mastery, which to me takes
precedence over Situational and Enterprise Mastery.
You may own the world, but if you cannot keep your
spirit, you die inside. Suddenly, all of those riches
you made merely become adornments to a hollow,
shallow self. A very rich person with no soul just makes the
contrast much starker between the affluence outside
the body and the poverty within.


At the heart of every family squabble is the age-old
battle for control. The old lion wants to keep his
pride of lionesses and rule the hunting grounds. The
young lion wants to challenge him and be king
himself.


A very young ME student came to me and asked, “Guru,
what should I do? My father does not approve of the
way I run the business. He puts me in charge but he
vetoes my decisions. He even told me to fire the
person I trust the most. He says he doesn’t like this
person. If I leave the company, it might go down in
shambles because I am the one putting order and
discipline in the business. If I stay, I will be
constantly fighting with my father.” My reply stunned
the student: “You either go on your own and be
completely independent, or you obey your father. You
want to fight your father, but he owns the company.
You really cannot leave the company because you enjoy
the comforts of home, the security of your father’s
business, and the salary he gives you. You can either
be a man or a mouse. Go or stay, but if you stay you
must eat your humble pie, obey your father and be
patient. You will eventually inherit his wealth
anyway.” But the student could not wait. He left the
company and ventured on his own. Last I heard, he was
mulling over returning, like the prodigal son, to eat
his humble pie.


Wealth creation is a noble pursuit in life but only
if it liberates you from the needs and wants of this
world. If it makes you meaner, breaks your heart, and
mangles your spirit, then wealth becomes the most
abominable prison of them all. It ties you down to a
lonely cell from which you cannot escape.


So what is my prescription for that happiest of days
beyond the ME? Let me share three possible paths with
you.


The first path is to remember the parable of the
talents. The ME is just another addition to the many
talents you have been given. But these talents were
just entrusted to you for good stewardship. One day
you will be asked what you did with your talents. Did
you use them well? Did you stretch yourself to the
limit, or did you just coast along? How much of your
potentials were actualized? Stephen Covey, in his
book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” asks
his readers to morbidly imagine their own funeral and
listen to the eulogies recited by family members,
friends, business associates, employees, and
neighbors. The happy person is one who lives life
according to the best eulogy he or she wants to hear.


The second path to happiness is to share one’s fully
actualized self with others. All great religions tell
us to love our neighbors as ourselves. They espouse
selfishness and self-sacrifice for “the good of the
least of our brethren.” It is a strange phenomenon,
this thing called sharing. The more you lose
attachment to things by sharing with others, the less
important they are. The less important they are, the
more you share. The more you share, the more people
like to share back and repay you with blessings a
thousand fold. In the end, there is unity of the self
and others. And that brings utmost joy and happiness.


The third path to happiness is to lead a virtuous
life based on values and principles. During the ME,
we might have misled you to think that what is most
important in running an enterprise is to be very
efficient, to cut costs, generate revenues, and focus
on the bottom line. Yes, these are important for
business. But who will make all that happen depends
on how you act on a day-to-day basis, how you relate
with your people, your customers and your stakeholders.
You can treat them as necessary evils to achieve your
goals. For example, you can cut costs by retrenching
people or outsourcing their services so that you can
produce a little more profit. But the superior
strategy is to elicit, evoke, and coax the best
performance from your people such that cutting costs
becomes irrelevant. They will perform so well that
revenues will outpace costs by a mile. But this
strategy requires that you abide by the principle
that people are not just warm bodies to run your shop;
they are your partners in business development. They
therefore need your nurturance and guidance. In this
light, every entrepreneur must be governed by the
Golden Rule – “Do unto others what you want them to
do unto you” or, negatively phrased, ”Don’t do unto
others what you do not want them to do unto you.”
This means that we should be totally accountable and
responsible for everything that we do in the most
just, fair, equitable, and compassionate manner.



My almost three decades of teaching, whether full
time or part time, has taught me that graduation
speeches, sermons and homilies, just like wisdom, are
often wasted on the youth. I have seen some of my
best, most intelligent students become the number one
scoundrels of this earth. But I have also witnessed
the transformation of uncut diamonds into brilliant,
precious stones that sparkle intensely because of
their purity. I hope that this graduating batch of ME
are the uncut diamonds waiting to be polished by
life’s lessons until, one day, they find themselves
living the happiest days of their lives.


Just What is the Law?


The law according to Jesus is very simple even little children can understand it.


He summarizes it in two: Love God above all things. Love your neighbor as yourself.


Micah 6:8 puts it three ways: Do justice. (Translated in English as 'Do what is right.') Love mercy/loving kindness. (Translated in English as 'Love goodness.') Walk humbly with your God.


Just what is righteousness? Who is just? Those who are just and righteous are those who do what they say, faithful to their covenant with God. "The greatest task of man is to discover God's will and fulfill it." Righteousness is fidelity.



Delayed Reaction


Hola! Que tal? (Dudes, that's Portuguese or most likely Catalan for 'Hello! What's up?' Catalan is the language spoken in Barcelona and the Catalunia region in Spain. It is as different from the Spanish as Basque language is from the French.)


I don't know what got into columnist (PDI Monday, etc.) Dean Jorge Bocobo's head but he linked my blog, Expectorations, to his blog, Philippine Commentary, at www.deanjorgebocobo.blogspot.com! (Check out my Links sidebar.) Because he arranged the links alphabetically under the heading 21st Century Journalism (can you imagine?), I am right under oxblog, a world-famous blog (so I heard; gloat, gloat).


Disclaimer: I do not claim to be a journalist, just a journalist heckler. Har har har!


To think that Mr. Dean does not share 90% of my worldview. And I bet he first knew me through my series of unimpeded protest emails directed at his writings. Har har har!


Life is fun(ny). I wish I had mucho dinero.


8.21.2003





Back in the Loop



In the newest 'watering hole of the well-to-do' - where else, Greenbelt 3, I spotted Mario Dumaual, a show biz TV reporter I find respectable, who was getting busy with his cell phone. I run into Tim Yap and his gang, together with Epy (Epi?) Quizon who was impossible to miss because he was creating a ruckus clapping and thumping his feet, making manual music. One thing I'm happy to note is that people are wearing a discernible sense of fashion individuality, a good sign of a maturing society, indeed a maturing, if constantly threatened, democracy. The implicit statement is, 'If you wanna be in the swim of things, by all means, have your own style.'


In other news, Ninoy Aquino's portrait is all over Ayala Avenue, the requisite cadmium yellow proudly ablaze. I believe we need those visual mnemonics to aid us in our disease of forgetfulness (Attention trimedia: Congratulations, good work!). I hope everybody can now clearly see the connection with the demolition of certain heritage and historical structures - by public officials, no less. Let's forget the nightmare but let's not forget the lessons learned.


God bless us all.



Wednesday, August 20, 2003

I am tempted to post another memoir or another inconsequential travelogue in the absence of an interesting news, but I'm not up to it, either. (I refuse to comment on Panfilo's deadly accusations except to say, "What is thaat?".)



Umayos kayo!

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Renzee


(Warning: The ff. is extremely sentimental and personal. Stay away if you don't like such stuff. Pretend you never read it.)


This kid will always be special to me. When he was still in his mother's womb, I was filled with terror. I contracted chicken pox - a horrible disease, even made more horrible by the possibility that his mother might catch the virus and the virus might reach the baby.


What would I do if that happened? He could have died. He might have come out stillborn, all because of me - all because I lived with them at the time, my cousin's family.


I prayed to God for the disease to spare my impending nephew, just give all those viral nodules to me. God answered my prayer. The boy would come into this world a healthy, bouncy little guy. He had flashlights for a pair of eyes. He got his milky skin from his mother. He had a lychee on his stomach, a birthmark, which would thankfully erase itself slowly as he got older.


He was clearly a favored child to both sides of his family. To me, too, especially. Maybe it’s because Renzee sounds very much like my capricious-sounding name. Maybe it's because he represents a whole new generation to our clan, a generation of hope. Maybe it's because of the thought that the kid would be carrying on something precious to his forebears long after they are all gone -- the family name.


It’s only now that I understand why the birth of a first-born male, or any son for that matter, is always greeted with a magnitude of rejoicing that inescapably makes all females complain. I’ve always frowned upon all forms of machismo. I have nothing but loathing for men who are overly male. But this kind of machismo is something else. A son is necessarily an extension of his father, the latter’s mortal link to immortality. A newborn son is a new beginning for an old man.


Renz would become my godchild; I, his beaming godfather-uncle. I saw him born, I saw him baptized, I saw him grow up into a precocious kid. We were together a lot, like father and son. We were together in good and bad.


Unimaginably friskier than any baby I have ever taken care of (I had six younger siblings), Renzee had always been a pain in my neck. I’ve watched him throughout the different developmental stages - when he jumped about my lap till my entire body groaned in surrender; when he first toddled away from me, looked back, unsure of his gait but determined to explore the world outside; when he thought everything that came in contact with his mouth was edible; when he bounced his way to every breakable item in the house. He was a painful bundle of joy but I always made it a point to endure the painful part. He was my pet.


Soon Renz was brimming with the exuberance of youth that the only horseplay to get him excited just right was a circus act I quite haven't prepared for earlier in life: It involved flinging him up in the air to simulate a baby Superman in flight. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day he’d count skydiving as one of his pastimes. I could claim some responsibility for that.






All the while, Renzee's father was abroad working. Sadly he missed those growing-up years, his firstborn's wonder years. He missed those magical moments and those precious mental images, just contenting himself with two-dimensional photographs and grainy home videos. It was I who was privileged to have all of them - live.


I filled in the fatherly role gladly but I was an awful father. My duty, I thought, was to spoil my ward. I did it by smothering him with the corniest love and affection and all the toys he fancied that my wallet could bear, with lots of prayers in between. He cried in SM Harrison once when I refused to buy him a pricey Batman. It made those ladies in navy blue smile knowingly. I thought Batman was ugly because he looked like Satan especially at night when you're alone staring at his face. I thought it would be good for the little fellow to suffer a little deprivation once in a while.


I don't know if I did the right thing. I know I did but still, when you see a loved one pining for anything, you tend to pull out all stops to give it. I didn't want to see him want for anything, the way I often did as a child.


***


I think we were about to go on a picnic to Nayong Pilipino or to a mall in Makati one Sunday when, from out of the blue, the little boy asked me, "Ninong, love mo ba 'ko?"


For split-seconds, I was stumped. No one else in this world ever said he or she loves me. And no one else dared to ask me so boldly. So I myself never learned how to say the word, let alone say it to just anybody.


But certain words need to be verbalized or we'd be damned not to. So I assured Renz, "Oo, love kita." Until now, I couldn't believe I was capable of saying it.


I can't forget, as well, the time I finally found a place of my own. It was still near my cousins' house, though, one block away to be exact. I was sipping hot chocolate early in the morning when Renz toddled over my place. He was looking for a playmate to while away the time with. He asked what I was having and demanded that I give him some. Of course I was only too glad to oblige.


At first glance, that was all there was to it. Too mundane to ruminate on. But suddenly it occurred to me what it felt like to literally feed someone helpless, so trusting.


I could almost hear that tender, mysterious voice until now, saying, “It is my joy to feed you. This is my nature.” It must be God.



I only woke up to warm myself up but I ended up with tears in my eyes.


It was a wonderful privilege to be a parent, it occurred to me. It was wonderful to feel like a dad. Until now, fatherhood is an option I am open to.


***


When he was five or six, Renzee stopped going to school in the middle of the school year. My cousin's entire family had long been waiting for this. The family had decided to settle abroad for good, in the hope that the West would indeed be a greener pasture, flowing with cow's milk.


Renzee wouldn't be mine forever. He's not mine in the first place, nor anybody else's. Even parents don't have total ownership of their kids. All kids will cease being kids.


At the airport, I knew I have lost the child I knew - forever. But Renz will always stay special to me: Because of him, I have learned how to love without conditions. Because of him, I have learned how to let go of that love.


All the while, I thought God was a scary coup plotter, a fearsome soldier, a stern judge, a potbellied policeman. This kid didn't have a clue that, through him, I have learned that God's love is pure, innocent, sappy-sweet - like a little child's, like the one I once had for a little child.


8.19.2003


Other Forms of Verbal Offense


(all definitions mine)



Words are not just words. They have a certain power. Here are additions to yesterday's list:


Aside (?) ('Parinig') - an oblique or indirect statement deliberately meant for someone present among a crowd of people who were there needlessly; a Filipino peculiarity


Over-forthrightness, immodest forthrightness (?) - volunteering one's opinions or announcing one's preferences even if no one is asking or expressing the slightest interest


Presumption - an inherently accusatory declaration that presumes on the target person's guilt; often withdrawn without a trace of remorse even if the presumption is later found to be false


8.19.2003







Monday, August 18, 2003

Christian Ethics 101: Taming the Tongue


(partly based on a Christian Life Program talk)



The tongue is just a piece of muscle, but likened to a ship's rudder, it holds the power to either up-build or destroy - be it a person's reputation or an entire civilization. Gossiping, for instance, though often dismissed as a lightweight offense, is actually equivalent to murder itself. To illustrate the gravity of the offense, consider how Anabelle Rama reacts when the starlets she had managed turned their backs - or tongues - on her. Look at how the presidential spokesman Aprodicio Laquian lost his job because of a seemingly innocuous joke on his boss, President Joseph Estrada. (These are very public, so I can cite them as examples.)


We can easily blame show biz media as an institutional purveyor of filth, gossip and intrigue, but we also greedily lap up what is being fed us. Bad-mouthing has always been a linguistically rich tradition, one wonders whether there's a language anywhere in the world that doesn't include a glossary of cuss words. We are all guilty of the same sin. Gracious speech is a good measure of a Christian because it necessitates an inestimable amount of lifestyle change to achieve it. It sounds draconian, but Christianity is uncompromising when it comes to this. However, let's make the distinction that the rule of gracious speech does not cover public matters and the public lives of "public properties." Trouble spot: Where do we draw the line between public and private? Is the President's sex life public? Are actors' extramarital affairs private?


Listed below is a wealth of offenses our tongues can commit. Everybody get hold of your Merriam-Webster's/Roget's. [The words in brackets are supplied by me.] Check-mark all the offenses you've done and shiver at the sheer amount of blood debt you have accumulated and crying out to heaven for payment. If you have found none applicable, please accept my words of admiration and respect as I genuflect and nominate you for canonization.



1. Lie - to say a false statement with an intent to deceive

2. Perjury - lying under oath

3. False witnessing - testifying to a falsehood

4. Slander - a false report maliciously uttered and tending to injure a personal reputation

5. Gossip - a rumor or report of an intimate (private), scandalous, sensational, often inaccurate, nature

6. Rumor mongering - stirring up or spreading a statement that is current but not authenticated

7. Backbiting/Backstabbing - to say mean or spiteful things about someone who is absent

8. Intrigue - to [needlessly/unnecessarily] arouse one's interest, desire, or curiosity

9. Being a busybody - meddling [in something that is none of our business]

10. Curse - to call on [spiritual] power to send injury upon someone

11. Blasphemy - the act of insulting, showing contempt, or lack of reverence for God or persons/things considered sacred or inviolable; the act of claiming the attributes of God

12. Profanity/Irreverence - the use of words that debase or defile what is holy

13. Cuss/Swear - to use profane or obscene language

14. Dirty Talk/Green Joke - [use of impure or obscene language, either to amuse, titillate or both]

15. Brag - to talk or assert with excessive [i.e., invalid, misplaced, undeserved] pride

16. Namedropping - the practice of seeking to impress others by studied but apparently casual mention of prominent persons or associates

17. Gobbledygook/Prattle, etc. - a silly talk

18. Insult/Invective/Affront - to treat with insolence or contempt

19. Taunt/Gibe/Sneer - to utter a sarcastic challenge (kantiyaw) or insult

20. Jeer - to speak or cry out in derision or with scorn [i.e., anger and disgust]

21. Mock - to treat with contempt or ridicule [often with sarcastic words]

22. Grumble - to mutter discontent



They say that the easiest way to fall from grace is through our stupid tongue. Verily I say unto you, the best mirror of the state of one's soul is one's speech. This doesn't mean, however, that everything that comes out of our mouth should be nice, either. ("Oh, dear, you look so gorgeous!" "Thanks, you don't look bad yourself, my dear!") Remember, it's also a sin not to speak out when necessary. "No talk, no mistake" is not quite right. Prudence is the key word here, although it's easier to spell it than practice it. Observing prudence is therefore an art.


I have read a curt but beautiful way of putting this art into practice from the book of ironically one of the most sarcastic authors I've ever read, Kurt Vonnegut (in his novel Slapstick): "Whenever she spoke either in public or private, no reputations died."


They say, "He who has mastered his tongue has mastered himself." But we know it's next to impossible to master ourselves, not the least our tongue. For one, gossiping is a very enjoyable pastime. (Listen around and make a little survey and you'll find that about 90% of talks - in the canteen, in office cubicles, in buses and jeepneys, in school - are backbiting in nature.) That's why after everything is said and done, we really need divine intervention in this.


Somebody said that it takes 19 or so affirmations for every negative thing one has received about oneself before one feels good about oneself again. Let's stop the chain of hurtful words (particularly those that attack on a personal level) that's causing negative vibrations in the world.





4.5.2000





Answers to Complaints About Mary

(excerpt from Fr. Jun Lingad's talk)


1. Yes, the rosary is repetitive, but what's the problem with that? If you want to be Biblical about it, then let us be Biblical: Try reading the repetitive chant that is Psalm 136. This issue of repetition is not even comparable to the Tibetan prayer wheel where the inscribed prayer-wishes hanging on the wheel depends on the number of times the wheel is turned by the wind. No, the repetition of Hail Marys is meant to be a background music to your personal reflection/meditation about the mysteries of the faith, i.e., the life of Jesus.


2. Why was Mary chosen as the Mother of God? Frankly my dear, this is another mystery. Is it because she deserves it? Why her, of all women, when others before and after her and as deserving as her can do? But who deserves that honor of anyway? That Mary was chosen must only be because God loves her. It's as simple as that.


3. True Mariology is Christocentric, always leading to Jesus. You cannot hear Mass in Baclaran on a Wednesday and forgo the Sunday Mass. In all her authentic apparitions, Mary has no message about herself, only messages from the Father and her Son.


4. Why pray to Mary when Jesus is enough? Good question. In absolute terms, we need not pray to Mary or the saints or the angels when we are close enough to Jesus. But God honors her so. Why can't we approve of things God Himself approved of? People who have problems with Mary really have a problem with Jesus.


5. Without Jesus, there wouldn't be salvation. But without Mary, there wouldn't be Jesus, so without Mary, there wouldn't be salvation. If you took up Logic, this is only logical. So you say amen to the body of Christ? FYI, the human body of Christ is technically the flesh and blood of the lowly, much-maligned Jewish virgin.


6. Mary was not chosen by chance. There is no such thing as chance. 'Chance is the measurement of man's ignorance.' And Mary's choice, the one choice awaited by all of heaven, was not a passive choice, either. She pondered on it then said yes.



8.16.2003

Turning Vegetarian



You made a mincemeat of yourself, the way I see you pixelized on CNN. They store your actual image at www.rotten.com, the site I have mustered the courage to visit, like I would the wake of a total stranger.
I choke on my dinner that very night, for it gains the consistency of halal flesh preserved in formalin, canned in a coffin. I turn vegetarian against my will. How could you blow yourself up so casually when, on a medical check-up, the nurse takes my infidel blood sample and I crumple at the pinprick, as though I haven't been through it in the yearly medical checkup? Your act is deemed divine inspiration for an entire generation of mujahedeens to take up the cause of globicide. But a puny retaliation is all you have provoked in me in your explosive aftermath. You are a pound of flesh ready and willing to give death a second chance. I am a spirit groping for its own body, fearing cold cuts for life.


8.2002



Inside an FX Taxi


I am an orange wedged between a man with disheveled hair, suspicious face, and dirty fingernails, and a coño kid from Don Bosco, clad in a flashy shirt I’d like to wear myself. The man clutches a stack of pirated VCDs and holds it like a rare find. The boy brings out a late-model cell phone I lost track of naming; how could people change cell phone models so easily? He’s on his way home to Merville. The traffic is heavy.
We were four in a row and the squeeze is giving me pain. Soon my legs go numb. The numbness reaches my torso until it rests on my chest. My heart is cramped. It spurts pulp bits and spills the seeds of knowledge, unease and despair out of my compartmentalized self. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for - when I’m beaten to a pulp until I can say I’ve felt nothing, seen nothing when I get home.


8.30.2002



The Flood in Prague and Dresden: A Lament


What art has elevated, magnified, made important, Nature has deemed whimsical, worthless, ephemeral. Art is short when Nature is short-tempered.






8?2002


Wish You’re at the Zoo With Me


To my niece Kiara and newest nephew, Joaquin


You grow by gazelle-leaps and bounds. I couldn’t keep apace, couldn’t catch up, like a turtle dragging its carapace. The big guys hold me captive to render man-hours Monday to Saturday, while you’re so far away cooped up in your parents’ Novaliches nest. I wish you were at the zoo with me, but both of us are caged in the menagerie of time and space.



Passover Feast


It was a special assembly when we danced the hora in a big, tight circle to the tune of Hiney mah tov and the tambourine. We closed the door tight, lest some dirty gentile set foot and contaminate us. It’s only then that we partook of the mutton, broke the unleavened bread and dipped the bitter herbs in the saucer of haroseth. How we rejoiced at our forefathers' liberation from slavery, even as we reminded the young of that bitter flight from Egypt, clutching only the barest necessities. So this was how it felt, you said, to be among the elect, from whose loins the Lamb would sprung, and for whom the Lamb was to be slain: Favored with new-found freedom from the oppression of sin, but tempted with thoughts of exclusivity.



8.15.2002


Jobless Balikbayan


His thoughts return to the whole camel stuffed with sheep laden with chickens puffed up with whole eggs,
dates and figs. He remembers the rice soaked in fresh milk, perfumed with cardamom, roughened by pistachios. He returns to the scene of diners squatting over the roasted feast, that’s eventually washed down
with baclava and brewed Arabian coffee in demitasse. He’s been eight years there, he says, enough time to wonder why the good life is stocked up in the belly of the beast of the desert.


8.14.2002


Recipe for Yoga


The framed majaranee with the nose-ring on the wall must be harboring fiery thoughts about Kama Sutra, as she cups her cheek and looks down on our orders of chicken and mushroom masala, served with saffron rice and bits of cinnamon barks, pistachio and cashew nuts, burnt sesame seeds, glacéd onions, and bell pepper cutlets. The chicken tandoori, smoldered orange-black, is gladly speared with forks. Pita breads are ripped into pieces, then smothered mercilessly in tomato-yogurt-cottage cheese sauce. I wake up the next morning with indefinable allergies, molotov bombs for armpits and seething consequences further south. The violence of the victuals is to be cured alone by sitting lotus-like, then twisting the torso to ninety-nine
impossible contortions of transcendence. Aum…





Lure



“Aflefly!! Aflefly!!, little Jonvic bursts into a babble one Sunday as he chases the flapping of yellow gossamer wings flitting from petal to pistil in the church garden. He screams, thrilled by the challenge of catching his juvenile desire. A passing cynic dismisses the butterfly. A lovely but extraneous nuisance, he says, most irrelevant in the scheme of trifles in the universe. He walks on. He fails to see that God invented butterflies to lure little Jonvic into the wonder and mystery of life, hoping he’d be cornered into the garden of faith on Sundays and all the days of his life.


8.11.2002

Trying to be Noah, Trying to be Moses


You've been laughing at me at my own expense. Now you can laugh some more. Saturday night I found myself trapped near the Magallanes underpass in the middle of all that nonstop downpour.


This is one horrible price of living in the metro. Next to Manila's Lagusnilad, the Magallanes underpass is the most horrible spot this side of purgatory. If you're not being held up at gunpoint or pick-pocketed by ugly, burly ogres, you are being threatened by The Great Flood. I tried being Noah. I tried Moses parting the Red Sea that is EDSA. Both didn't work. Di nakayanan ng powers ko, dear. Can you imagine wading through all that leptospirosis-infested floodwaters? In your favorite sneakers? That's what happened to me just to get to the MRT station. Go ahead, laugh. A jeepney tried to cross but never got out of Hades. No, it was Scylla and Charybdis, if you have read Homer's Odyssey. All available taxis were likewise trapped. The other end of Pasong Tamo Ext. before the entrance to Dasmarinas Village had also become impassable to light vehicles. I imagine having dinner at Pancake House, the only decent establishment still open thereabouts.


I consoled myself that other people worthier than me go through the same hassle. I consoled myself that the flamboyant gay guy in Bubble Gang, the one with exaggerated lips, also walks across this piece of hell on earth - and he's a nationwide celebrity. New York under a massive blackout? Europe on a heat wave? C'mon. How about Manila in a downpour after yesterday's heat wave and tonight's power failure? Now, that's CNN breaking news.


A word on Moses. This guy is known in the Bible as the meekest of men yet he was the chosen leader of his people, communicating face to face with the Big Guy Himself. I should try meekness some time.


8.16.2003



Saturday, August 16, 2003

An Unfortunate Myth About Being a Christian


Romy S. once pointed out one major myth surrounding a life surrendered to Christ - that following the Lord Jesus would always mean trials, problems, suffering, tribulation.


The truth is, he said, everything is a matter of perspective. It's simply not true (and very ironic at that) that the price of Christianity should be bitter punishment. We suffer not because God wants us to be miserable. If anyone hates us so much as to wish us ill, it's no one else but the devil himself. The truth is, Christianity is full of rewards that are not only surprising but also uncontainable that we would want to share them to others. But this certainly doesn't mean an end to all our problems, either.


If Christianity is full of sufferings, it is because of love. We suffer because we have chosen to love. When we decide to let go of a vice, Romy said by way of example, it certainly would be a big problem! When we decide to be a better wife or husband or son or daughter, we would have a lot of problem-solving to do, particularly with regard to confronting ourselves. Simply put, when we wish to avoid sin because we love and want to follow the Lord, we will always have a lot of opposition to face. We would be in constant war with the world and with ourselves. We would have a steady supply of "problems".


The thing is - I think Romy pointed out - we suffer greatly only when we hate. By contrast, our sufferings cease to be burdensome the moment we suffer because of love. Our problems even cease to be problems, they eventually become source of joy.


Now, is this masochism? No. We're not talking here of a self-inflicted pain to gain the selfish end of sexual satisfaction. We're talking about a pain that is selfless, a love that is pure.


In every circumstance where we have a choice in the exercise of love, we always could have chosen not to care, or worse, we could've chosen the path of loathing and revulsion. That would certainly make life far simpler. But if we choose the better part, we better be prepared to pay the price.


A love song made popular by Basil Valdez (written by Vehnee Saturno?) goes, "So let the pain remain forever in my heart, for every throb it makes is one more moment spent with you. I let the pain bring on the rain if that's the only way, if there's no other way, to be with you again." It may sound hokey but this is what true love, unconditional love, does.


The commonly held notion is just that - a myth. God loves us. He wants us to be happy. In Him, life is fun. If there's anyone who wants trouble for us, it's not God who contemplated it. And if we find ourselves in trouble, don't we always ask for His deliverance? Why would anyone ask deliverance from someone who causes harm?



7.19.2000

'The Undercurrent of Sadness in Everything'


"There is an undercurrent of sadness in everything, but especially in our experience of the beautiful. A good story (whether told in a book or film) leaves us both joyful and sad - joyful for having known another, a warmer and more coherent world, and sad over its having to end. The same is true of a piece of music, say, a Bach fugue or a Chopin prelude, as it is of a visit to a place of great loveliness."


Such are the eternal words of Simeon Dumdum Jr. from an essay, "The undercurrent of sadness in everything". Dumdum is a Cebuano writer whose book, "Love in the Time of the Camera," has won the National Book Award from the Manila Critics Circle. I've been looking for this book for the longest time, after I've read Krip Yuson extol it, only to find it mysteriously vanishing from all the National Bookstore shelves. (It thankfully reappeared weeks after.)


The piece is a closing entry to this modest-size essay collection, a choice most apt, I should say, because the reader tends to close this book thinking about just this one piece.


I remember Dumdum's words when I chance upon a moon shining full and bright one night. Then I am reminded of a haiku that says, How beautiful is the sunset!/But I am so sad you're not here.


Why is earthly happiness always hounded by sadness? Dumdum wrote this piece in the context of a tragic personal loss, the death of a teenage daughter. It's as though he was saying, it would have been happier if my daughter were by my side enjoying the world as I am now.


***


Dumdum has captured a personal state of mind that I have been relegating to my mental back burner for so long. You know what they say about suppressed thoughts and emotions. To let it all out now, let me just say that Dumdum reminds me of this: One can never find total happiness in this world. We are all children of the fall, and sadness will be always be a mainstay of our earthly life.


We will never attain true happiness, that is, unless we pursued the one that truly endures.


The pursuit of worldly happiness is always a bankrupt pursuit. One may have wealth, youth, looks, intelligence, skill and fame, yet nothing really lasts. One may even boast of a perfect mate, relationship and family life, yet even these things won't be permanent. Everything is eventually coming to an end. But this knowledge that everything in this world will end is not entirely what consciously or unconsciously brings us sadness.


Rather, we are sad because we are living in a world that's imperfect. We are sad because we are living a life that is flawed, rendering all manner of pursuits for perfection in the here and now essentially foolish.


Only in seeking the one happiness that is to come - the never-ending one, will all our earthly efforts find meaning. Apart from this, everything is hollow, nothingness, 'vanity of vanities,' says Qoheleth.


In the eternal version of happiness, we will no longer know of sadness or suffering or pain. By then, we won't even be needing things like faith, as someone wisely put it. Indeed, what is faith for when one "already lives in the presence of the One being hoped for"?


***


This is not to say that we should pursue sadness as a vocation. In fact, I believe in seizing the moment, enjoying life to the full, being happy at all times. Indeed, when a moment is gone, it is gone forever.


But this is not to say that sadness is without its value, either. As Dumdum closes his essay, he says, "Once we know this sadness, we are able to love more purely."


For me, this means we are able to live life with a keener awareness of a greater reality. It is a reality best viewed with the eyes of angels, none of whom understandably would want to go back to earth and trade places with us. All of them look upon us with pity, lonely pilgrims on our lonely journey.


In the same vein, we grieve for our dead, but we are glad that they are now in "a better place."


To stretch it even further, this nagging discomfort in the present is expressed in 2Cor. 5:4: "While we live in this earthly tent, we groan with a feeling of oppression; it is not that we want to get rid of our earthly body, but that we want to have the heavenly one put on over us..."


We are sad because everything has an end. We are sad because everything is imperfect. We are sad because we have yet to come home.


2.28.2000


Friday, August 15, 2003

Case Report No. 1


(This is supposed to be a medical case report. I thought it is a bad joke. No offense - I don't intend this to be a green joke. This is presented in a quiz format and I have rearranged it below to make it more readable.)



"This 33-year-old nulligravida (never been pregnant-RSO) complains of a "growth" on her left labia majora. She has noticed some irritative symptoms including itching in this area. This lesion is found to be characteristic of human papillomavirus (HPV) infection suggestive of vulvar intraepithelial neoplasia (VIN) 3. VIN 3 is generally easily recognizable by clinician and pathologist. This is caused by HPV type 31.


Biopsies from the lesion show acanthosis and hyperkeratosis with features of viral VIN 3. Acanthosis is the elongation and fusion of the rete pegs producing a hyperplastic appearing mucosa. The architecture and cellular changes demonstrate an undifferentiated epithelium with typical koilocytotic atypia - consistent with the diagnosis of viral VIN 3.


Inspection of the patient's sexual partner revealed no penile lesion.
But oral lesions suggest tongue epithelial neoplasia. Little is known about oral transmission of VIN 3. Anecdotal reports, however, suggest that HPV may infect the oral cavity. If so, the husband's tongue lesion may be causally related to our patient's vulvar lesion. The histology also demonstrates koilocytotic atypia, similar to our patient's histology.


Referral to an oral surgeon or dermatologist familiar with HPV infections is recommended."


-adapted from the Journal of Lower Genital Tract Disease. Vol. 7, No. 3. American Society for Colposcopy and Cervical Pathology

Ilocano Jokes


You mean you haven't heard of these?

Ilocanos' favorite pants - WrangleRRR

Ilocanos' favorite underwear - WalkeRRR, BoxeRRRR

Ilocano word for heavy traffic - BumpeRRR to bumpeRRR

Ilocano word for a well-paved road - Okay, ngaRUD!

Christology 101

The ff. is posted for those who want to gauge or understand the Catholic/Christian mindset.





(Fragments from a talk given by theologian Fr. Chito Tagle*, SDB, in Greenbelt Chapel, 1997)


1. The works of Jesus are about the kingdom of God. When God reigns, the reign of the world ends.


2. There are two dimensions to life. First is the passive dimension (i.e., we have no choice), referring to the givens, like one's birth date, parents, genes, etc. Second is the active dimension, where we are given choices, i.e., there is a freedom. What is death in the face of this definition of life? Death is the final exercise of freedom, where we choose between trusting/surrendering to God and rebellion. Life is thus completed in death.


3. Why is Jesus, the person of our faith, killed? Why was He killed as a criminal? Because the occupying forces (Romans, Pharisees) wanted to retain their power, to retain the status quo. (Much like today, isn't it?) Jesus was seen as a threat, a blasphemer. He was betrayed, abandoned, stripped naked.


4. Jesus Christ's greatest torment was the feeling of being abandoned by the Father Himself which Jesus experienced at the crucifixion. "Lord, why have you forsaken me?" is a cry of abandonment. Yet how did He face His death? How did He "actively" face His death?


a. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they're doing." Incredibly, His reaction is one of forgiveness, even to the extent of making excuses for them/us, i.e., Come on, do they/we really know not?


b. "Father, into Your hands, I commend my spirit." The message of this is "I will die loving You." This, in spite of God's "abandonment".


5. Jesus thus died "victoriously" on the cross. At least we have a kingdom, the reign of God has begun. He remained faithful to the last, offering an unimaginable kind of love.


6. The pattern of dying is the same as that of loving. To die is to love. To love is to die.


7. God reigned even unto death. The cross of Christ unmasked the evil that pretended to be good, the brutality of humanity.


8. Where there is love, God is there.


9. We don't say "Christ rose from the dead" which is active. We say, "He is risen" which is passive. This means that Christ's resurrection doesn't mean resuscitation as in Jairus' daughter and Lazarus' case. Unlike the latter, Jesus Christ will never die again.


10. Resurrection is the affirmation of the love of God; He has not abandoned His Son, after all.


11. All these imply that the life of Jesus Christ is the life that has to be followed: leading a life in God, totally belonging to God.


12. Because of Jesus' reaction in death, a door is opened for all of us. A gift is given to us: His Spirit.


*Fr. Chito Tagle is now a bishop of Cavite.


3.14.2000



Let's Listen to the Pope's Confessor



The ff. is posted for those who want to gauge or understand the Catholic/Christian mindset.






(The ff. is based on a retreat given by the Pope's personal confessor, Fr. Reinero Cantalamessa - a name which literally means "happy to sing the Mass" - at the Cuneta Astrodome, Nov. 10, 1997. Here he quotes liberally from the Letter of Paul to the Romans.)


1. Say the 'kerygma' and you will be saved: "Jesus is Lord and He died for my sins that I may have life."


2. This means that we need salvation from outside and not from inside (ourselves). We cannot rely on our own. Salvation is a gift from God; all that is required of us is faith. We do not merit salvation by the good things we have done.


3. Man is basically a self-centered sinner. We are lost. We are hopeless. It is through God's grace that we are saved.


4. We are not saved by good works, But we are not saved without doing good works.


5. "Now there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."


6. In spite of anything, there is that theological hope. Whether we die or live after a crisis, it doesn't matter at all because we belong to Christ.





3.14.2000


Panegyric


(Catholic dogma alert)


"The body of her whose virginity remained unspotted in childbirth, was preserved in its incorruption and was taken to a better place. Just as the glorious sun may be hidden momentarily by the opaque moon, its rays illumine the darkness since light belongs to its essence. It has in itself a perpetual source of light, or rather it is the source of light as God created it. Therefore I will not call her sacred transformation death, but rest or going home.


Put off corporeal things, Mary. Heaven receives your soul with joy. The heavenly powers greet you with sacred canticles and with joyous praise, saying:


'Who is this most pure creature ascending, shining as the dawn, beautiful as the moon, conspicuous as the sun? How sweet and lovely you are, the lily of the field, the rose among thorns; therefore the young maidens loved you. We are drawn after the odor of your ointments. The King introduced you into his chamber. There Powers protect you, Principalities praise you, Thrones proclaim you. Cherubim are hushed in joy, and Seraphim magnify the true Mother of the very Lord. You were not taken into heaven as Elijah was, nor did you penetrate to the third heaven with Paul, but you reached the royal throne itself of your Son, seeing it with your own eyes, standing by it in joy and unspeakable familiarity. O gladness of angels and of all heavenly powers, sweetness of patriarchs, perpetual exultation of prophets, refreshment of the weary, comfort of the sorrowful, health of the sick, harbor of the storm-tossed, lasting strength of mourners, and perpetual help of all who invoke you.'


Watch over us, O Queen. Lead us into the calm harbor of God's will. Make us worthy of future happiness through the sweet and face-to-face vision of the Word made flesh through you. With him, glory, praise, power, and majesty be to the Father and to the holy and life-giving Spirit, now and for ever. Amen."


-from a homily by St. John Damascene, on the assumption of the BVM, body and soul, into heaven


8.15.2003

Depression 101


How does one combat depression? Some people hire shrinks, a.k.a. psychotherapists. Many find popping certain pills a panacea. Others do booze, illicit sex, illicit drugs. Some simply pray. Somebody recommends sleeping it off.


But shrinks are expensive. As one sensei said, "You pay about P6,000 to hear someone tell you, 'You are confused.'" Medicines and prayers are just part of the healing process, I'm afraid. As to sleeping, I don't know; you might be in danger of not waking up ever again.


My answer to the question is a more holistic one: Get depressed, yes, go through the motions of depression, it’s been sent to you for a reason. If done properly, it’s good for your spirits in the long run. In feeling blue, you learn to take stock of your life, you realize what your priorities are, you are prompted to reorder these priorities, blah, blah, blah. (Do you really want me to go about it?)


This was how I went through my depressed state: Distant relatives from the USA went home on a visit and I surprised myself that I could hold a conversation decent enough for them to notice that I wasn't offering them a drink. I stumbled into a fine article by one writer I really, really like: Peter Mayle. I found myself queuing up at Powerbooks in the same line as three well-known celebrities - Zsa Zsa Padilla, EJ Litton and Joaqui Trillo. How's that for an uppers? (They knew one another.) I attempted to cook up a storm in the kitchen, and I mean a storm. (Couldn’t eat it myself.) I got to eat tons of junk food for free, thanks to an officemate who allegedly shares an apartment with one of the Eraserheads, who incidentally are pushing Chippy on TV in a psychedelic-video commercial. Lastly, I was able to blow a bubble gum for the first time in my life. It's extremely corny but it's true.


This is what I mean by going through the motions of depression - look for a constant stream of sensory novelty until the depressive state wears off. It worked for me. It might work for you, too.


This is not a call to hedonism. All I'm saying is, this is far, far better than jumping off a cliff or pulling that trigger. I was watching TV one day and heard a female fan of angst personified herself, Alanis Morissette. The fan enthused: "I love getting depressed."


She doesn't know what she's saying. Being through this depression is not something I would love having for any length of time. First, its causative factor is something I couldn't quite nail down up to now, and believe me, that alone is distressing enough. It's something I would never wish on my enemy, something I would never want to get into ever again.


Depression is virtually one step closer to hell, don't even get near it; the idea shouldn't even cross your mind. It's easy to dismiss faith, hope, love and joy as naïve, simplistic, monosyllabic words, but when you're in the depths of a 'blue funk,' these are the very things you desperately wish to have but mysteriously couldn't.




1998? Updated 4.14.2000











Forgiveness versus Reconciliation


Is forgiveness different from reconciliation?


Yes, says my guru. Reconciliation always involves two parties - the one forgiving and the one asking forgiveness. Forgiveness, on the other hand, may not necessarily be a two-way street. You may forgive someone but no reconciliation ever happened - whereas it's impossible to have reconciliation without forgiveness.


For a famous or notorious example, we Filipinos may forgive the Marcoses for the things they did through sheer forgetfulness, or Kris Aquino may kiss Bongbong Marcos on primetime TV for all she cared. While the former undoubtedly forgave the latter, the action does not mean that a much prayed-for reconciliation happened. It takes the Marcoses an admission of guilt and wrongdoing, plus the acceptance of legal retribution, before any reconciliation can ever happen.


In much the same way, we may forgive the Japanese for all the atrocities they've committed during the war, but it should take them at least an admission of their crime before reconciliation can ever start.


Sadly, as of this writing, both the Marcoses and the Japanese government intransigently deny their respective crimes, making reconciliation absolutely impossible.


This teaching solves a long-standing problem of mine. Why should you forgive someone who doesn't recognize the fact that he has sinned against you? How can you forgive a murderer who claims he did not commit the murder when in fact he did? Don't they say that God forgives all sins except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, which essentially means denying that one has sinned? How can you forgive someone who thinks he's done nothing wrong?


The answer to that according to my guru is, we simply need to forgive, period. It is because we need forgiveness ourselves - whereas God does not because he does not sin. We all need to reconcile with God and with one another - whereas God does not need being forgiven at all. If there's one thing that we can fault God with, it is that he loves us so much as to initiate the act of forgiving.


Will God perish if He didn't send his begotten Son to ransom us from sin? No. But God, through Jesus Christ, chose to die on the cross for our sins. You still there?


Good, because much as we need to forgive, says my guru, it is equally important that we need not forget. "History is bound to repeat itself," somebody named George Santayana is quoted, so it is prudent that we remember. Remembering does not mean constantly reminding the sinner of his or her past sins. What we remember are the valuable lessons learned.


2.24.2000


On Light



From a review of Baruch Elron's (Israeli painter) art


"Physicists claim that we live in borrowed light. The light that lights the skies is sent through a dark universe to a dark earth from a sun that is 150 million kilometers from the planet.


Light, a prerequisite for most activities of the living world, is not only a physical but also a psychological factor. Light and darkness are dual aspects: birth and death, love and hate, creation and extinction. Sunlight signifies direct knowledge, as opposed to moonlight that symbolizes indirect analytical knowledge. Light also represents eternal truth and supreme honesty.


Artists such as Caravaggio, Rembrandt, George de la Tour, Goya, Courbet Daumier and others, including Baruch Elron, have depicted the world as an object that is dark inside and brightened by light - evidently confirming the assertions of the physicists."


(All rearrangements mine)


8.15.2003



-fr. an Israeli journal

Case Report No. 1


(This is supposed to be a medical case report. I thought it was a bad joke. (No offense - I don't intend this to be a green joke.)



"This 33-year-old nulligravida (a pregnant woman?-RSO) complains of a "growth" on her left labia majora. She has noticed some irritative symptoms including itching in this area. This lesion is found to be characteristic of human papillomavirus (HPV) infection suggestive of vulvar intraepithelial neoplasia (VIN) 3. VIN 3 is generally easily recognizable by clinician and pathologist. This is caused by HPV type 31.


Biopsies from the lesion show acanthosis and hyperkeratosis with features of viral VIN 3. Acanthosis is the elongation and fusion of the rete pegs producing a hyperplastic appearing mucosa. The architecture and cellular changes demonstrate an undifferentiated epithelium with typical koilocytotic atypia - consistent with the diagnosis of viral VIN 3.


Inspection of the patient's sexual partner revealed no penile lesion.
But oral lesions suggest tongue epithelial neoplasia. Little is known about oral transmission of VIN 3. Anecdotal reports, however, suggest that HPV may infect the oral cavity. If so, the husband's tongue lesion may be causally related to our patient's vulvar lesion. The histology also demonstrates koilocytotic atypia, similar to our patient's histology.


Referral to an oral surgeon or dermatologist familiar with HPV infections is recommended."


-adapted from the Journal of Lower Genital Tract Disease. Vol. 7, No. 3. American Society for Colposcopy and Cervical Pathology

Para Kay Tammy: Sa Nanay Mong Gen-X


Hiyang-hiya ako diyan sa nanay mong Gen-X, ha? Ako nga walang cell-phone, e. Siya pa-text-text pa. Updated pa sa showbiz, say mo? Akala ko ba takot ang mga matatanda (sorry po)sa modern technology. Aba, baka bukas makalawa'y malaman-laman kong
Si Nanay pala e nag-se-surf na sa Internet. May personal webpage pa! -
http://www.nanay.com. Minsan tuloy, pakiwari ko nagkulang kaming mga kabataan
sa pagse-sermon sa aming mga magulang.


?





(Too Much) Sugar is Bad for Your Kidneys



I don't have a green thumb, but I have a sweet tooth. Unfortunately my kidneys don't. I just love cakes, ice cream, Coke, candies and chocolates, even if I am not sweet as a person. My bean-shaped vital organs, however, are raising a clenched fist in protest every time.


I have entered myself as an unwilling guinea pig in a lab trial even if I am not a diabetic - I have made do without table sugar and all manner of saccharine substance for as long as I could. Talk about purgatorial. Talk about life being bitter.

I conducted the study myself in various designs: pilot study, case study, randomized trial (phase I, phase II, phase III), multi-center study, placebo-controlled trial (single-blind, double-blind, double dummy), cohort analysis, longitudinal study, meta-analysis, follow-up, comparative study, retrospective study, prospective study, open study, parallel design, crossover study, and cross-sectional study. I have run the stats: ANOVA, MANOVA, Student's T-test, Cox analysis, Mann-Whitney, factor analysis, multiple regression. I used Sprague-Dawley rats, Wistar rats, Swiss rats.


Conclusion: it's neither acidity nor caffeine that's doing my kidneys in. The culprit is my fondness for this sweet food supplement.


I'm now sweetening my coffee with aspartame which, according to a spam mail, may bring more harm than good. I have yet to find out whether that's another lie. I'm aware of drugs having paradoxical adverse effect - drugs causing the very disease they are meant to cure, never mind what Paracelsus said about all drugs being poisonous depending on the dosage. I hope aspartame isn't one of them.


By the way, did you know that carbohydrates are not the only chemicals that taste sweet? Proteins can be sweet, too.


unlike me, most of my classmates in college are doctors now, but I know how modern medicine thinks. Medicine is an imperfect science and I am told that, if symptoms persist, I can't insult my doctor. I trust my instinct better, my inner physician, and it says table sugar is guilty beyond reasonable doubt. For this attitude, my officemates always raise a collective eyebrow at me: "Namamarunong ka na naman! ("You're being medically presumptuous!")"


I hope their crazy kidneys are happy like mine.


8.14.2003




The Letter of the Law Can Kill


That's how one of my senseis have put it lately. He had a lecture on how Jews smothered the spirit of the law by building a hedge around it, by formulating the so-called scribal laws - complicated rules made by men as a measurable gauge of their obedience to God. Scribes are Jewish teachers of the law. Rabbis are their students. Rabbis are also known as the Pharisees, hence the word pharisaical.


I hope no Jews are reading this for they might get offended (my writings can be offensive to all, my fellow Catholics included), but here are examples of those rabbinical laws:


On Sabbath day, one is forbidden to work. Work is defined as a burden. A burden is anything that is carried with at least the equivalent weight of a fig fruit. (Think of a small guava fruit.)


Watch how this little rule spawns a multitude of rules - the fine print of the law: You cannot cure anyone who's sick because you might be carrying a "burden" in the process. The medicine used, for one. You cannot carry your baby. You cannot write anything in excess of two Hebrew letters. A woman cannot place false eyelashes over her eyelids. I am not joking.


The Jews hated Jesus Christ because he violated the letter of the law with impunity, even as he declared, "I have come not to abolish the law but to fulfill it."


8.14.2003


My sensei, Fr. Jun Lingad, SDB, a Bible scholar extraordinaire from Rome conducts Bible studies in PowerPoint, using English, Latin, Greek, Hebrew, I think even Aramaic, versions of the Bible. Yes, he can read those weird scripts because he also teaches those languages. He also knows Italian, German, Spanish, Tagalog and Ilonggo. You can catch him on TV, RPN-9 every Saturday 6 AM (!).





Thursday, August 14, 2003

Today's Headlines


All the major broadsheets and tabloids today had the same major story - Trillanes face-to-face with the Feliciano Commission, but each had a divergent focus:


Inquirer, "Mutiny, 'Spontaneous'"


Star, "It Looks Like Gringo"


Manila Bulletin, (sorry, I forgot)


Standard, (I forgot)


except for this:


Bulgar, "Loi Kakampi na ni Laarni!"

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Cockroach in our Closet

"What's wrong with her?"

That's the phenomenological question my officemate Tonio once asked me over lunch. He was complaining about his mom.

"How come our entire family kept on using the worst utensils at home, when my mother had her vast collection of china, glass and silverware?" he wondered. "It's so ridiculous! I even got to use those Nescafe 'basyo' glasses while visitors, who were invariably total strangers, were always the ones who got to use the expensive and often imported ones." I could vainly suppress a chuckle, in total concurrence with his existential complaint.

"Are all Filipino mothers like that?" we asked ourselves.

I can understand it if my mother saves her special pieces for such special occasions as the yearly fiesta, or because she fears her clumsy children might only break her meager collection too soon. But the problem was Tonio comes from an upper middle-class family who can afford to break one Correll plate per day.

If this weird behavior is an extension of our legendary hospitality, then we're truly an amazing people. We'd go to great lengths to please our visitors, local or foreign. We offer the bed in the master's bedroom and we sleep on the floor. We kill our best swine during fiestas and we turn vegetarian the rest of year. We throw bacchanalian feasts like there's no tomorrow for the most impractical of reasons and we end up neck-deep in debt the rest of the year. Sacrificial love -- isn't it an admirable thing? But is scrimping on the good things in life on a daily basis a form of sacrifical love?

We cover our appliances and sofas with blanket - or plastic - removing the cover, if at all, only when we are expecting important visitors, only to be duly dirtied by them.

We can all cite our own favorite example of this unreasonable Filipino behavior, and I bet further exemplifications will roughly point to the same truth: that our brand of hospitality might be tainted with an amount of hypocrisy, which, I'm afraid, finds a certain kinship with our penchant for appearances and status-consciousness. This cultural phenomenon, I hazard a further guess, may even be cousin to 'horror vacui' - which betrays our fear of poverty and its attendant shame.

For we as a people tend to ask: What would our neighbors say? What would our rich relations say? What would our foreign guests say? There is something misguided about this line of questioning, and it may not be the obvious.

Where do our values truly lie? What do we deem essential, important? For whom or for what does our heart beat? It's good to reexamine our motives underpinning our good-on-the-surface behaviors; the answers to these questions can only reveal where our real 'treasure' is.

Remember the APEC Summit held here recently? It was a time when the major routes in the metropolis were suddenly spruced up by local governments, in the style of Singapore, the garden city. Impressive, you say? In fact, deep down, it can also be perceived as a form of slight; a citizen has the right to be slighted that it would take foreign guests for our government to do some sprucing up at all. I mean, don't we dirt-poor citizens deserve that the most?

I've long accepted this Pinoy (mal)practice, so I thought, until Tonio unwittingly brought it up once again over lunch. One of my first personal statements when I got to live on my own was this: I will help myself to the best kitchenware, the best beddings, and the best toiletries I'll ever have or afford, special occasion or not. And of course I shall also make sure that there is still room left for the best of the best, just to mark special occasions as truly special. And when my nosy visitors come over my place by intended mistake, I wouldn't be caught dead with my trove of garbage for everyday use, and they wouldn't have the honor of being the first to use bed sheets that reek of naphthalene balls or red-letter-day plates that come subtly scented with cockroach from having been stockpiled in the closet for the longest time.

1995 (excluding revisions and refurbishments)

My Zoo Volunteer Group

Please spread the word on My Zoo, a group of young idealistic Manilans who care about kids and the environment. They need all the help they can get. Direct all your calls to 8316117.

A Nasty Schoolmate


"So what do you do now?" a schoolmate in high school asked me.


"Oh, I read, and then I write," I said self-effacingly, afraid that he'd mistake me for Nick Joaquin or at least Peter Mayle.


"Ah, sekretarya!?" he insulted me with a mocking face.


I bet that person doesn't know what a gerund, a split infinitive, a dangling modifier, or run-on sentence is.


(This happened a long time ago. I should have forgotten this incident. God, please heal me of evil memories!)



8.12.2003




Funny Gay Lingo


Nagmamaganda - maarte; feeling maganda or guwapo or in possession of an irresistible sex appeal; playing hard-to-get


Ex. Huwag ka nang magmaganda, sige na, samahan mo na 'kong manood ng sine.



Nagmama-asim - nagsusuplada/nagsusuplado; being unseemly churlish or surly


Ex. FVR, Nagma-asim sa Speech ni GMA, Asking 'Why Me'?


I remember my bitchy, screamingly gay officemate who told me in my face when I refused his advances:


"Ba't ka nagmamaputi, hindi ka naman artistahin?"


Hmp, sour grape.


8.12.2003




Ninez's Warrantless(?) Arrest


I seldom find Ninez Cacho-Olivarez's opinion agreeable, but I will defend her right to say it.


8.12.2003

Pinoy Food, Slave Food?

There's something funny about eating in public - or public eating. From someone who regards eating as a private thing, like a morning ablution, the sight of three hundred mouths masticating in unison is simply appalling. Especially if the way it's done is totally bereft of grace, and the place and setting is completely free of any pretension to artistry.

I find annoying the sight of people who hold their spoon and forks as though they would spear someone dead anytime. I am irked by those who tell their stories at the same time that they open their mouth wide. I am appalled by those who use toothpick and dental floss in public. I find quite intolerable those who use their tongue as suction machine as postprandial habit, or is it hobby.

It is in this oppressive setting where my lunch-mate Hugo B. told something that nearly choked me dead. It must be the sight of sweatshop first-shifters at lunch break. You know, people queuing up at the canteen, looking like robots employed by the vast capitalist machinery. The sight smacked of assembly line, quotas, deadlines, quality control.

Over dinuguan and Coke, the canteen ambience properly setting the tone, Hugo B. had this pronouncement: There is a link between food and oppression. He speculated that many if not most Filipino foods most likely evolved from being slave foods.

Hugo B. proffered the notion that our colonial masters must have gotten the best of everything and we, their hapless subjects, had to make do with what was left - the traditionally inedible, the innards, the unripe, the override, the rotten, the rejects. My tentative reaction: Hmm, pwidi. But I hoped the guy was wrong because most of the time he was.

Take the dinuguan glistening on my plate, he said. The best part of the pig carcass was always sliced off ahead as part of a tribute to the royals, thus our forefathers - so Hugo B.'s theory went, had to device something with all that blood, tripe, and offal or they starved to death.

Oo nga naman, I ventured politely.

Take manggang hilaw for another example, he said again. The best of the harvest always went to the peninsulares or whatever the presumptuous colonizers were called, so it was inevitable for indios to discover that green mango was edible after all.

So it went that dinuguan (pig blood, innards), bopis (pig lungs, kidneys, pancreas), higado (pig liver, intestines), dinakdakan, sisig (pig brain, snout, ears), buro (leftover fish), callos, and bagoong (leftover fish fry) - all share a common history, a history of oppression, a history of making do with slave food.

I hid my misgivings as regard his allegations out of sheer lack of solid evidence and a way to refute them. However, I conceded that this observation is even truer today than yesterday.

We're all no strangers to life in a banana republic. Where do the best produce of our land and seas go? Where do all those top picks of bananas, pineapples, mangoes, maize, tunas, logs, and mineral ores go? Where do our best college graduates work? And what are we left to content ourselves with? Of course, we're left with the out-of-specs and the scraps, the dropouts and the dregs.

This reminded me of my college Humanities reading, a sorry-sounding poem, 'The United Fruit Company,' by a Latin American author.

In spite of this, I said, I think we as a people are still fortunate. We are gifted with the gene of ingenuity, the diskarte and delihensiya enabling us to survive the deserts, polar caps, and oceans of this world. Thanks to colonialism then, and neocolonialism now, we have churned out such unparalleled delicacies as inihaw na panga ng tuna (tuna canning byproduct), chicharong bulaklak, kare-kare (pig slaughterhouse byproducts), and isaw (chicken offal).

Time was when galunggong and sardines were considered only fit for dogs? Who will claim that these are not tasty?

Is it then really about victuals being slave food or about plant and animal parts being particularly tastier?

In any case, squeamish Western fat cats and so-called ilustrados don't know what they're missing. They simply don't know how and what to eat. It's the virtue of superiority complex backfiring at them.

But wait, Hugo B. seemed right. In my provincial hometown, people consider these stuff as gourmet food: malunggay fruit, katuray, kakawate and other flowers as vegetable; curious herbs and weeds generally attractive only to pigs. Will somebody do the listing for Pampanga and Bicol where people are known to eat snakes, locusts, crickets, and bats?

In nooks and crannies of Metro Manila, notice how every part of the chicken otherwise considered as kitchen refuse is being peddled as street merienda: feet (Adidas, Fila?), wings (Nike Air), intestines (isaw, IUD), head, blood (blocks of it barbecued).

With our conversation becoming more and more unappetizing, Hugo B. and I gulped down our Coke and sped to our working stations to beat another day's deadline. Our American boss wasn't very happy about our hour-long lunch break.

1995

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

The Calm After the Storm

(This sort of writing is, of course, inspired by those Didache and Our Daily Bread reflections.)





It was raining like it never did for a century and the megalopolis was, as usual, an exquisite bedlam. I decided to stay put and spend the night in the office to escape getting trapped in the gridlock.


The decision proved to be Spirit-inspired. Traffic at the legendary South Luzon Expressway didn't budge for five hours, yes, FIVE HOURS, and you could hear people phoning over their collective tale of reaching home by 6:30 AM!


The next day, the sun didn't even take a peep and the rain remained just as intense. I sensed danger. Firmly I decided to go home. I decided to avoid the so-called expressway and opted for the service road to Nichols (Villamor Air Base). From there, I planned to walk the mile-long road back home, come knee-high or waist-deep water.


Armed only with faith and a creaking umbrella, which was not even mine, I trudged on to Villamor, braving the rain and the prospect of encountering unwanted characters on the road. Thankfully, I met no such misfortune, and whatever flood there might be had subsided through the night.


What do you know, against all statistical improbabilities of finding a ride on a supposedly one-way traffic, winged creatures in the form of a plain-clothed traffic enforcer and a taxi driver came to the rescue. Imagine saying good words about taxi drivers. Why, the good Samaritan even refused the money.


If there's a calm before the storm, there's also a calm after the storm. Early this morning on my way to work, two burly men stole my most precious wallet, together with all the cash and all the IDs in it. The brown wallet with a glossy finish was special to me because I chanced upon it while it was on sale at Momento or some such snobbish shop in Greenbelt.


Not a few people expressed surprise at my relative equanimity in the face of a personal disaster. They couldn't understand it; I couldn't understand it myself. (Somebody was even kind enough to volunteer in lending me some cash.) It must be God's way of consoling us each time we have a tough time battling with life.


1997


A Paradoxical Faith

(This may not be the proper place to quote Oscar Wilde, but the scandalous French writer has mentioned something worth quoting about paradoxes and life: "…[T]he way to paradoxes is the way of truth. To test Reality we must see it on the tight-rope. When the Verities become acrobats we can judge them." -from The Picture of Dorian Gray)


A Paradoxical Faith

Six years in a Christian community and what have I gotten into?

Well, no less than novel experiences that brought me back to an ancient path. Various new relationships that awakened me to the ones I've already got and have taken for granted. Probing questions that can only find answers in an otherwise bigger question mark called faith.

This pattern of paradoxes kept on repeating and repeating along my journey until it has brought me into this deafening conclusion: What I had was a beautiful experience of the mystery called life, in a faith replete with paradoxes.

Now this is not to reduce my journey into Christianity to mere aesthetics of language. It is definitely not something to sneeze at when it appears that God has been communicating His divinity for six years in the poetry of paradoxes. The language of God must consist in paradoxes!

"We lose what we strive to keep and gain what we freely give away."

"Love your enemies."

"Die to yourself."

"Jesus is risen from the dead."

"Jesus is son of God and son of man."

"No one enters the kingdom unless one becomes like a child."

"There is only One God in Three Persons."

"It is when we are weak that God is strong." (When problems are so big and your strength is no longer enough to carry them, don't give up. Where your strength ends, the grace of God begins.)

"Whoever loves his own life will lose it, whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

"Zeal is strength under control."

"Believe in God in order to understand God; to believe is to see."

"God's wisdom is foolishness to the world."

"Where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more."

"Jesus' death on the cross is a symbol of conquest, not defeat."

"To set man free from fear, it is necessary that he cultivate in his heart that true fear of God, the beginning of all wisdom." (a paraphrasing of Pope John Paul II's words)

"Joy is perfected in suffering."

"Blessed are the poor for the kingdom of heaven is theirs."

"The poor are here in our midst so that the rest may become rich in faith."

"One can give without loving, but one cannot love without giving."

"The more you give, the more you receive." (St. Francis of Assisi)

"We are saved not by good works but by faith alone. But we cannot be saved without doing good works." (Fr. Reinero Cantalamessa)(The mere giving of material comfort or financial help to someone in need does not necessarily mean an expression of love and concern. But you cannot say you love and you care for someone and just watch him suffer. To give doesn’t necessarily mean to love, but to love always mean to give.)

"True freedom means 'freedom to do what we ought', freedom to obey God." (Pope John Paul II)

"You'll know the love of God through difficulties, through suffering… God's love is bittersweet… This is the paradox of the Cross." (St. Ignatius)

Take a second look at the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi and note an unprecedented eloquence in expressing the Christian enigma:

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, where there is hatred, let me sow your love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

Fr. Ruben J. Villote, who runs the Center for Migrant Youth - in a way a modern-day disciple of St. Francis - wrote in The Word, his column in Philippine Daily Inquirer:

"I was mentored into believing that 'winning by losing,' 'receiving much by giving much,' 'going up by going down,' 'being great by being little,' 'being wise by being a clown,' 'being a victor by being a victim,' 'being rich by being poor,' 'being empowered by being powerless,' 'being known by being hidden,' and being forgiven by being forgiving' are the paradigms that every follower of Jesus, especially the priest, is being dared to shift.

"The worldly smart may cynically call it the 'Mother Teresa Syndrome.' Those who dare to live it out in public may be called irrelevant, unproductive, foolish and queer in this time and age, but that precisely is the goal and mission of the true follower of Christ - to be a 'sign of contradiction' in the world, 'to make a difference' in this time and age!"

The Pope himself, in Crossing the Threshold of Hope, summarized the Christian faith as follows: "To find life, one must lose life; to be born, one must die; to save oneself, one must take up the cross."

With the old mindset I had, my coming into a Christian community should be viewed as a mistake. But like an Easter Vigil song goes, I hereby exclaim "O felix culpa" ("Oh what a happy fault").

Meanwhile the beautiful, if at times perplexing, journey continues...

9.2000









Manila Zoo: Noah's Ark


(Childhood paradise revisited)

I had to file for a sick leave for this because my immediate superior found my reason for a vacation leave preposterous. Me, go to the zoo? At my age?

Time to play sick.

I came with Herbs who happened to be a member of My Zoo, a student-led volunteer group to help the beasts lead a happier cage life. Herbs had to rush to the zoo to take a group of kids from St. Joseph School on a guided tour. Without much thinking, I tagged along.

At the zoo, I met Herbs' friends - Andrew, his fellow Tomasian; Jen; and co-founders Kathy Chua and Kitty Arce (yes, from the local ice cream family). If you think I am passionate about a lot of things, Kathy Chua is orgiastic when it comes to animals and the environment, to talk nothing about her other passions.

***

When I first set foot on Manila Zoo as a kid, I didn't want to return home - not that I found a natural affinity with the resident chimpanzee. My aunt, who brought me here one summer vacation, was incredulous. It was getting dark, and here I was, wanting to spend some more time at the zoo. I was just all of six or seven years old then, taking a time off from school in Pangasinan where my family had migrated.

In the eyes of a little boy, he saw the zoo for what it really was: a painstaking re-creation of Eden. Okay, this is from a quote (Betsy Holland Gehrman) but that's how it felt to me then: "It may well be that every making of a garden is an attempt to return to Eden. It even may be that every garden is an Eden in itself: that all the while we are immersed in it we can retain a vision of what we were meant to be."

***

A couple of days ago, I joined the company outing to a beach resort in Subic but I preferred to sleep and lock myself up in the hotel room. Briefly I went to the beach to check out what's going on and got annoyed for it. The rough beach stones did it. So did the two jetskiers who vroomed round and round and caused the air to smell of petrol and my throat to cough a little. So did the food and the service which were both uneventful. On top of these, there was a big crowd which, in my enervated eyes, swarmed the sea like sharks. I knew then that something's very wrong with me.

I went back to the hotel room and surfed the cable TV. Briefly, I found black people singing in French kind of weird and wonderful. Then, before they finished the song, I switched to an Indian channel and found novelty in Indians ululating an equally unintelligible music. Still I couldn't believe that I was inside the room ignoring all the fun and games on the beach.

With the air con at full blast, I opened the book I brought with me, a Milan Kundera classic, but decided against it when I found the first few pages difficult. Whereupon I switched to the Discovery Channel and there, by the grace of God, I found what I was pining for: Jack London's 'call of the wild'. (Imagine traveling all the way to Zambales only to watch Discovery Channel.) Fortuitously, the show was a saga of a lonely fox who went on a long journey throughout the North Americas to find a pack he could belong to, and there to reestablish their species which was almost totally exterminated, no thanks to white American settlers.

The message of the saga was simple yet continually ignored by society: We tinker with God's plan at our own peril. We exterminate the foxes and the bisons multiply unmanageably, overgrazing the land. Without enough food for every bison, many of them get sick and an epidemic soon wipes out all the herds. If only we let the foxes as foxes, they would take care of the bison population with skill and cunning that would shame an AIM-educated CEO's management skills: The foxes prey only on the sick bisons, thus promoting bison health - and non-artificial population control. The carcass the foxes leave in the aftermath of a feast in turn brings in all sorts of scavengers, mainly birds - vultures, condors, ravens. The end result: everyone is happy in paradise as everyone should.

***

I remember a short story I've read, A Passion in the Desert (I forgot the author), which dealt with this theme in part: Nature is beautiful in itself. God is sufficient by Himself. God and nature don't need man. Look at how man reacted to his singular privilege.

***

To put it plainly, my visit to Manila Zoo two decades hence showed me that not everything was well in the paradise of my youth. The lush foliage was still there but I only needed to stare at Daktari, Manila Zoo's star tiger, who was born in captivity, for me to tell that something's amiss. His primal roar as well as that of the other tigers and the lions sent shivers down the spine of every visitor, but I knew they were communicating a plea: "We want bigger 'open enclosures'; we deserve something better than this."

A visit with Nancy the lone chimpanzee sent her into fits. I could tell she was afflicted with schizophrenia complexed with manic depression. "Why am I here? Where's mom and dad? I miss Rwanda." The same was true with the other primates present: Cici the orangutan, the Japanese red-faced monkeys, the lonesome gibbon, the Hamadryas baboon, the Celebes ape, even the Philippine macaque.

I learned from Herbs that Molly, a giraffe, passed on to the heavenly zoo (if animals have souls) because a visitor fed him with a plastic straw which choked the ungulate dead. Now that leaves Sally, the other giraffe, lonely.

Andrew, the other volunteer guy - an eloquent-for-MTV poster-boy, thus kept cautioning the little visiting pupils not to feed or even touch the animals - except for Mali, the Asian elephant near the entrance. The pachyderm loves to be petted, he said. Mali was then proffered with peanuts and bananas (with the resident vet's approval). I don't now what went into Andrew's head but he also draped the resident python over his shoulders for public petting.

I toured with Herbs, Andrew and the kids the reptile section (snakes, turtles, lizards, crocs), the aviaries full of herons, pelicans, parrots and doves, as well as the section for other mammals (zebras, deer, wild pigs, hippos). I was dismayed to see many of my friends living in conditions only slightly better than a pet shop's.

I was saddened to find lots of my other friends missing. Where are the kangaroos of yore? Where's the black bear, the cheetah, the naughty chimps who showered visitors with food they've chewed, the boisterous family of pink monkeys, the flock of blue birds with fan-shaped crowns, the white peacock, the exotic varieties of snakes?

I stared at a cross-eyed buzzard with the question and it could not answer me. So couldn't the owls whose eyes I couldn't eyeball enough, the cassowary which wouldn't look my way, the cloud rats and civet cats which slept through it all, the Palawan porcupine which hid itself from it all, the wild pigs which grunted and grunted, the fruit bats which hung nonchalantly, the sacred white ibis which plucked the arid soil for fish, the fallow deer which blanched and turned white, and the hippo couple who hid their shame underwater (nothing but their backs showed).

The only ones that were apparently happy were the large, snow-white Moluccan cockatoos which played with humans like human beings. Some scrawny kids approached a pair of blue-naped parrots nearby and accused the two of being cosmetologically challenged. "Pangeet! Pangeet!" the kids said, but the poor pair adamantly refused to give a reply to evil.

Through young-adulthood, I would increasingly regard zoos to be an animal concentration camp. Zoos are unfair to animals. Animals are complex organisms - with diverse territoriality, dominance, courtship, nesting, predator-prey and other behaviors preprogrammed in their genes.

***

The young volunteers of My Zoo, however, can console themselves with the fact that these creatures are perhaps even better off here. In the wild, they could have long been shot, poached, cooked and eaten, or sold for a song by heartless and hungry men. They could have been preyed upon by animals stronger than they are. They could have lost their habitats due to forest fires, the changing clime, or the advance of civilization. The best thing My Zoo can do is lobby for a zoo that simulates the animals' respective natural habitats. They have a lot of work to do.

For many species, it seems too late to let them roam the wild again. It's like releasing domesticated dogs in the wild, hoping they would behave like foxes in search of sick bison. At the current rate of habitat destruction, their only hope is the zoos of the world. Zoos will never be a perfect replacement, but at least, they can serve as temporary Noah's arks - until the crazy flood of human destruction recedes or is abated.

4.28.2000

Manny Pacquiao Plays Ball Here

My brothers are reporting sightings of Manny Pacquiao in our neighborhood. Not that I'm terribly interested. But I cannot possibly dismiss Pacquiao as just another boxing champ.

Every time he plays, or works, - or fights, his name is always announced in the ring like an unmentionable cussword. That Arneow accent has made his name unwittingly infamous.

Right after he won in an international match, an English or American sportscaster asked if he felt great or some such silly question. Viewers at home were anticipating a Vizayan-accent hemming-and-hawing, but no, Manny gamely answered his interviewer by blurting out this upper cut: "OH, YEAAHHH!"

Now there's a winning attitude! It might interest you to know that he's not turning anyone's face into Chinese sweetmeats in our neighborhood, one that's full of every conceivable thug on earth. He could've turned this 'hood into Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club, but no, he plays billiards.

Which makes me wonder about the sudden proliferation of Lilliputian billiard sets in our neighborhood - certainly the latest incarnation of Tamiya and bay blades. Was it inspired by the superstitious Bata Reyes, always shorn of the benefit of false teeth and a good bath when he competes? Or is it by the pugilist Pacquiao who dyes his hair blond and plays billiards?

8.12.2003



Paper-less, 'Office-Less' Work Provides Unlimited Opportunities in Companies Without Boundaries

16.

I had dinner with some friends in LKG Tower's Food Odyssey (11th floor) and, what do you know, I came across this stack of Job Market Sunday issues with my article on it. I told my friends to grab a copy and read my obra, just don't flaunt it at the people around us. I found out they don't read the Inquirer. "Kaaway namin 'yan," said one. "Nagpa-publish ng kwento kahit wala pang ibidinsha." "Sorry, Manila Bulletin dyaryo ko," said another. Ok, fine, whatever, this is a free country, but read my article first. That was an old piece (10/2001; updated 2002, 2003) which I thought was unpublishable because it talked about the impending death of paper (I doubt it.). Here it is (many thanks to Ms. Reggie Reyes.):


Call it the paranoia of a Luddite but I’m always seized by this unsettling feeling whenever I encounter high-sounding buzzwords like “paradigm shift” especially when applied to technology: I tend to conjure up apocalyptic images in my mind. Take the case of my former officemates reporting the advent of a paper-less, home-based workplace.

It’s a phenomenon I only used to read about. Thanks to laptops, Palm Tops, cell phones, email and other “new-for-now” telecommunication devices, certain companies are able to work on entire projects without employees ever leaving their homes. And I thought that, in my kind of job, I’m already deep into cutting-edge technology. Listening to the news from the real techno-savvy, I am practically a brachiosaur.

Except for the presence of one trusty soul who couldn’t seem to take the new arrangement (Now there’s a dinosaur and a Luddite if I ever saw one), one such place formerly known as “the office” is now a foreboding sight – free of personnel - save for that lonesome secretary, and silent like a ghost town.

Of course, this new setup presupposes that the following prerequisites at home are met at the outset - electricity, phone line, modem, PC (with printer), cell phone/pager, fax machine and Internet account. Air conditioning is optional.

Perhaps my mind is a bit wild, but my crystal ball could see that this seemingly innocuous development is not just a simple result of a preeminent corporate motive: savings, cost-cuttings, and more savings. No, it sure has multiple ramifications and manifold repercussions.

It can mean entire office spaces being freed up and employees actually not meeting each other in person. It could mean LRT and MRT rides becoming purely a seamless trip to the mall. It could mean skyscrapers becoming obsolete as office spaces. I could see traffic jams on EDSA and elsewhere being solved overnight. I could see our extensive parking lots turn into rainforests.

This development, needless to say, spells death not just to the existing corporate bureaucracy but to the auxiliary or peripheral industries as well – from office equipment to canteens to construction to office wear. But then, it could also mean the birth of new industries catering to heretofore unseen markets. Paperless transaction signals the further decline of the pulp and paper industry – which is good news to environmentalists, but more homes getting wired up could also mean new business opportunities. Furthermore, we may have to contend with new forms of wastes – the burgeoning refuse of digital age. It is hoped that whichever the case might be, new jobs would mushroom as well, like, home-oriented services.

Let’s check out how employees in a paperless, home-based workplace find the new set-up. Ruth G., a medical indexer and abstractor, is ecstatic about the savings she makes in food, transportation and clothing, not to mention the time it takes her to prepare and decide on which food to eat and which clothes to wear. But, she figures after some moment, all the convenience she has right now is at the expense of her social life, which is essentially zero. Then there’s the burden of footing a bigger electric bill.

Herbs V., among other fellow employees in a competing firm, reports not having easily adapted to a purely online, home-based work. Sometimes, he says, he prefers the printed material over the electronic copy, especially when his eyes get droopy or when he wants to peruse his work lying down. At times, he chooses to download his workload and print it for this purpose.

From a clinical standpoint, Anton L., a medical doctor, notes the advantage of having a quieter workplace in home-based online work, citing studies that found higher productivity and efficiency among workers in quieter versus noisy environments. However, he counters, there is a countervailing factor. Being at home can mean the absence of superiors or colleagues watching over your shoulders. This translates inevitably to getting too relaxed and a tendency to get sleepy anytime. You are your own boss, yes, but there’s no one to coerce you with that sense of urgency needed to get the job done - fast.

There is now a greater tendency to hunker over computer games first before really buckling down to work. Dr. Anton then cites studies illustrating that our tendency to cram during the last minute is human nature. This tendency, he argues, is certainly encouraged more by the home-based setup.

These dilemmas, of course, may be confounded by the replacement of noise and clutter by a new kind of noise and clutter - kids and a thousand little domestic issues competing for your attention.

Another qualm against the emerging setup is its inherent ability to isolate and further alienate. Single people are especially susceptible. Jong M., an HRD manager, now reports to her Alabang office twice a week. In her (paid) absence, answering machines are provided to give clients polite answers. Jong have all the time in the world for rest and recreation, but puzzlingly, she always complains of being bored.

Meanwhile, the setup has also become a bane from her clients’ perspective. Clients certainly prefer it if she were there to answer their queries than being accommodated by an unthinking, unfeeling device.

The backlash has a two-pronged consequence: (1) isolation of the individual himself/herself from what used to be a vibrant workplace community, and (2) isolation from the rest of society of those who couldn’t have access to the new technology.

Personally, despite all these threats, I remain undaunted enough to choose the brighter side of new technology. They have yet to stop me from salivating after that new-generation laptop. Besides, I have not much choice; my job requires that I acquire one into which I can squeeze online versions of books, office documents, and other data into pocket-size portability.

That’s one last thing that ought to disturb my inner Luddite: In a technology-driven, increasingly impersonal society, we all become hostage to our own creations. It’s like playing the role of God without the blueprint for omniscience. One prays that the new paper-less, home-based setup, in particular, won’t be producing an army of Frankensteins.

10.31.2001



Another friend, a call center guy, called up today to report that the Job Market is also being distributed for free at the Enterprise food court, and that he was reading this piece. I'm becoming everywhere. Fame is not a part of my plan. I hate it. I'm scared of it. I just want to write and live off it, which is impossible in this country. But then, who knows? This is a country of the impossible.


CineManila V, Etc.

Don't be silly, where else would you expect me to be?

Certainly I am enamored of art films, especially European films, because of their big, new ideas about the world. These films always ask the what-if questions - and answer them with often-preposterous, ambiguously-ended, but not entirely implausible stories and scenarios. They always test the limits of conventions and commonly-held notions and, always, they find something that is new and, to a certain extent, universally true.

What if man just went with the flow of everything in life that came his way, just swam with the tide like a driftwood? What if there's such a thing as a complete 'jerk,' a terrible coward, a totally wondrous wimp? Such are the questions posed by the Polish film, Edi. The answer is disturbing.

What if someone suddenly wakes up one day in a strange place and finds himself amnesic? How would his fellowmen and society take him? What are the chances of his survival; of finding home, work, and love? Finland's Oscar-nominated film A Man Without a Past answers these, as does (at least partly) Spain's The Red Squirrel (Pedro Almodovar?) in last year's filmfest.

What if an 'other' woman suddenly finds herself living in with her lover's family? How would it change or disrupt family dynamics? France's François Ozon answers this in the graphic, crowd-pleasing Swimming Pool, although I regard with strong suspicion the huge crowd that came to the movie house. (I hope it's not true that people only line up to see full frontals. If you want porn stuff, there are the super cheap pirated VCDs; stay away from serious films because it would be hard for us to find a seat.)

Last year, I found most unforgettable the Belgian-Macedonian collaboration, No Man's Land, the anti-war film that caught even sellout Hollywood's attention. It asks: What if two soldiers from enemy camps are trapped in the same foxhole? The result is the best indictment of the Bosnian-Serbian war (or any war) I've ever seen.

In our country, creative and original ideas, I'm afraid, are seldom given the much-needed boost, what with films and teleseryes churned out according to viewer preferences, showbiz star careers, and the producers' practical - and valid - concern of profitability.

It doesn’t help that I would meet a frustrated scriptwriter whose first work he alleges to be stolen with neither shame nor regret by a popular TV show. He was watching it one day, he said, when suddenly he felt such a strange and strong déjà vu. "It's my freaking script! 90% of it!," he fumed. He never wrote a single script in his life again, ever.

Another struggling filmmaker found himself in the same situation. He alleges that his idea was turned into somebody else's movie.

If you believe in karma, is it possible that the TV and film industry is reaping its just karma nowadays? Fortunately I find the very concept of karma questionable, although I use the word very often to scare my enemies.


Now, what if things actually changed for the better? That's something CineManila hopes to see sooner than later. I wish Tikoy Aguiluz et al. much luck even if I don't believe in luck, either.

Hope to bump into you at the Greenbelt Cinemas. (Prepare P76 per movie. Sorry, art films are not always for free. Namihasa sa Shangri-La?)

8.11.2003





Are We Being Defined by the Weather?


The metro has turned oven-hot today. Just yesterday, everything was dripping.

There's something to be said about this crazy weather, sure. I must say a mouthful, like, it's this crazy weather that makes the inhabitants of this crazy place crazy. A crazy weather does that to you, turns you into a kind of moody, split-personality schizoid. I hope the effect is not suicidal to other crazy people like me. I hope a sunny weather gives us a reason to be sunny as well. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow…

8.11.2003

Blog-Surfin' the World

I occasionally check out blogs of people from other climes like this one, Jack's Blog, by a lawyer in Portland, Oregon, to see how they're doing in their little part of the world. There's even a site called A World of Blogs (Thanks Bing Fuentes for the info.) where I'm thinking of signing up. At the moment, I'm trying to learn on my own the basics of Webpage design or at least the HTML codes I need. Get ready for me, world, as I strive to be technodolt no mo'! I wish to thank the ff.:

Lhen Paredes of PDI's 2BU! and pinoywriters.com, among others

Loryces of Philippine Tolkien Society

Marvin Albino of Asia Pacific College, instructor

Tammy Zalameda of aitinc, therefore, I'm bright




Four Questions to Myself

Is the Makati mutiny directly related to Fathur Al-Gozi's alleged escape?

Were the Abu Sayyaf escapees 'rubbed out' to stamp out the truth?

Who shall tell us the truth?

Is anybody else interested in this kind of truth?




Doronila Does It Again


Our favorite news analyst did it again:

-Dismissed the big-business community's post-mutiny actions as opportunistic.

-Called the comparison between the failed coup with that of Angelo Reyes' Edsa 2 mutiny as "insipid."

Touché. I wish there were more people like Mr. Doronila.


8.11.2003

















Friday, August 08, 2003

The World's Greatest Architect



God - or the ocean (or nature in general) if you're an atheist - is the world's greatest architect, that's perfectly clear to me. Last night I bumped into these seashells on sale at SM Shoemart's Philippine Handicrafts section. The shells came in an assortment of size, shape, shade, structure and species. These thingies are nature's lesson teaching that beauty and function can coexist. Ironically, I found them in one of Metro Manila's most aesthetically criticized structures, Henry Sy's "bunkerhouses," as one columnist constantly bitched about.


There was the spiny Venus comb murex. Cone shells with scaly exterior, among other designs and finishes. Top shells which stand like pyramids. Giant clams (Tridacna gigas), the ones used in pearl culture. Miter shells. Queen conch (Strombus gigas). Harp and volute shells of variable hues, both of which are abundant especially in the Philippines. Triton's trumpet. Olive shell. The curiously ridged precious wentle trap shells. Spider conch. Bizarre-looking murex shells. Tiger cowries (Cypraea sp.) which come in different sizes, colors, and design (usually mottled). Ribbed shells. Exaggeratedly long-'tailed' tibia shells which are found only in Philippine waters!


Shaped by high pressure and time, the sheer violence of being under the high seas, finished by the waves and underwater current, these creatures seem to have evolved like all of creation: submissive to Mother Nature's contrivance, respectful of Her whims.


One of the world's most admired buildings, the Sydney Opera House, is inspired by seashell architecture. It's true, we humans are not snails, but aren't we submerged in another kind of ocean - the whole of atmosphere, with its violent caprices, unpredictable moods? Maybe we should start designing our homes like snails?


These objects remind me of the architects I have read about. Eero Saarinen (the free-form TWA Terminal in New York City), I. M. Pei (that glass pyramid structure over the Louvre Museum in Paris), Frank Lloyd Wright (the International-style Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, New York City), Antoni Gaudi (the art nouveau Sagrada Familia Church in Barcelona - for me, the most beautiful building in the whole world), Frank Gehry (the abstract, outlandish Bilbao Museum) or Lindy Locsin (the buoyant Cultural Center of the Philippines).


I've always been in awe of architects. The ability to create something out of empty space is a glimpse into the divine - a privilege not given to everyone.


6.26.1997
revised 3.14.2000

The Abuse of the 'Stupid Lina Law' (Neal Cruz's words)


(How the benevolent spirit of the law is boon to the abusive)



I praise Joey Lina for his good intention but, just the same, I implore him to seek an amendment to a law he has presumably sponsored and helped pass in Congress. It was a law that practically repealed the existing Anti-Squatting Law.


The resulting soft-hearted law has become revelatory not only of Lina's sensitivity to the issue of poverty and socioeconomic inequity as desperate, age-old realities. It has also exposed the character of some of our people who would not hesitate to exploit and abuse the loopholes of the law every chance they get. It has revealed our people's predilection to circumvent the law, testing it to its limits, teasing it at wit's end - to the point of asking for a harder, far more complex version. The spirit of the law is willing to be of help but the body politic has clearly some weaknesses.


This law suggests that, if anyone can steal a piece of private property so easily and tell the good news of a promised land to one's relatives back in the boondocks, then just about every Juan and Juana dela Cruz can! I can erect a ramshackle shack in the middle of the skyway, for instance, and I can get away with it! It can't just be demolished by anyone without proper consultation with me! I am even entitled automatically to a government relocation site - in case I agreed to be relocated! And, yes, I am allegedly also entitled to cold cash if there's a delay in the plan!


Mr. Lina, where is the semblance of law and order here? In our desire to address a social injustice (social immobility), we seem to have ended up with something worse - anarchy. You cannot expect me to defend the rights - and wrongs - of big-time hacenderos, but what about those who have worked their butts off for the only land they possess? What will stop squatters and kaingineros from burning our national parks and other government properties? I am especially shocked and depressed in the case of Baguio City where whole mountains of pine trees are suddenly supplanted by hovels and hovels. Maybe I should also put up my own? It is terribly unfair, this tragedy called the Lina Law, especially where politicians have exploited it to their own selfish advantage. People in the media should stop publishing those images that wrongly provoke the bleeding hearts of would-be rebels. Things might get worse if we don't introduce some form of restraint and order.

Can anybody suggest to the government a more plausible alternative? We want social justice. We want to uplift the plight of the poor and the homeless. We don't want a free-for-all or a mob rule.



8.8.2003


Breaking News: Two New Sex Orientations Discovered

Other than the heterosexual male, heterosexual female, homosexual, lesbian, and transgendered sexual orientations/preferences(?), there appears to be two more genders asserting their presence and legitimacy in our confusing lives.


1. Pa-girl - a heterosexual female who is given to overemphasizing elements of her femininity through theatrical exaggeration, i.e., extra 'hinhin'
- a homosexual male who consciously deludes himself that he is female by birth - to humorous effects


2. Pa-mhin, pa-min, pa-men, paminta, pamintang buò - a closet homosexual whose sex orientation shows anyway - through an often-unconscious overemphasis of male attributes(such as an exceedingly contrived macho voice plus the requisite mustache, muscles and multitudinous steadies)
- a gay guy who assumes macho-hood for five seconds, and comically fails; may also be called pamintang durog


8.8.2003



Paradox in My Frappuccino


"I have such a low regard for a society that follows trends like religion," I told Enrique while we were at the height of hype itself - sipping cafe Americano at Starbucks. This statement was not a stab against someone who had paid for my dinner earlier (KFC Twister - chicken strips and Baguio vegetables in pita bread). It's meant for the crowd milling around us, for we were surrounded by cargo pants, puka shell or hematite chokers, late-model cell phones, extra-strength gelled hair with bangs pointing skywards, ponkan-orange or shocking-yellow branded shirts, baggy/hip-hop jeans, Year of the Dragon polo shirts, Ricky Martin shirts, Buddha beads, square-toed shoes.


The turn of the millennium is marked by a marked increase in the vanity of men, the invasion of faddists, fashionistas, trendoids, and other such victims. And where do you think would people display such a conspicuously exorbitantly priced fashion getup? Glorietta 4, of course, the newest trendy place in town, i.e. as of this writing.


OK, I am being malicious at my own people, like Enrique implied. In the first place, how can anyone tell what's going on in people's heads, let alone innards? I therefore conceded that, perhaps, it's just that Manilans love it when they dress up - to see and be seen, to party. In a word, they know how to live the good life.


I am not entirely convinced, though. Everybody knows for a fact that Filipinos are one of the most status-conscious people in the world. They have a penchant for not-so-subtly communicating their status in the social pyramid. There's this feeling of mad rush in the general population to at least look like true-blue upper crust. Ironically, this results into a society of conformists - everyone looks exactly just like anybody who's somebody, to the point that it's hard to tell the difference. That is, unless people start to open their mouth.


Nowhere is this phenomenon displayed in a more intense level than in G4. Maybe the reasons people converge here are: the accessible location and parking space, the state-of-the-art (SDDS/THX) cinemas, Food Choices' swanky look (industrial-grade sheen, funky mosaic on floor tiles, fiber optic lighting), not to mention the cosmopolitan choices of chows. But could anyone discount the crowd factor? For one, anybody can spot a celebrity anytime any day - from Imelda Marcos to Joyce Jimenez. Another thing, there is nothing really unique about G4; it's just another mall.


My quibble with this social phenomenon is this: If you don't belong to this mad rush, you stick out in the crowd like a sore thumb. It's so easy to feel ignored and nonexistent. Take Starbucks, which, I've heard, is in the league of Dunkin' Donuts back in the States. Try entering in your rattiest pambahay at any Starbucks outlet, particularly at Rockwell , 6750 Ayala, or G4, and observe how people pretend not to see you. Observe how they do so in such a manner as to show that everybody actually noticed.


Don't get me wrong. I love dressing up myself, not just to feel good, but also out of consideration for others' sensibilities. You'll never see me garbed in jeans at my friends' wedding, for example. I just find it amusing that in the rush toward individuality and social mobility, we all end up looking like clones of each other.


Individuality should be one hallmark of democracy but democracy, it seems, has a way of abolishing it.


***


Enrique invited me to Starbucks because he has a serious heart ailment: He's currently into a relationship where he feels like a bird being caged by his love interest. In this relationship, he claimed, he could hardly fly.


I quickly diagnosed their affair as co-dependency, a selfish kind of love where both try to own each other like an object, so they end up choking each other, stunting each other's development as a person, to the point of strangling each other to death. In a word, they deserve each other. I readily quoted to him a spam email I had received that said, "The way to keep love is to give it wings." I didn't tell him it came from Joe 'D Mango, or was it Dr. Love?


I had a problem here, though: I was in the company of a quick-witted man. He just as quickly countered my email passage by saying that giving leeway in the relationship invites the accusation that you don't seem to care enough. "Would you rather be choked by love or be constantly chasing after it?"


"Gee, you've just given me something to think about!" I said, by way of an answer or to hide the lack of a ready one.


In most thesis-versus-antithesis debate, nothing wins but the stance in which there is a little of both - the synthesis. The right answer to Enrique's counterattack, it occurred to me later, is this: As in most of life, it is perform a balancing act between the two opposite poles: affirming one's love without totally invading personal space.


But it was too late. Enrique had bid me goodbye. All I had been able to advise him was to go away and get out of the relationship even if I knew he wouldn't. "I give you three months," I sort of threatened him. We didn't part, though, without Enrique giving me a hematite necklace for it.


7.1.2000


Again, on the Word Kayâ


I realized that the word "kayâ" can also be a new version of the intensive "noh?"


If Max Soliven or Nelly Sindayen asks: "Madam President, who will be most likely your running mate in 2004?"


Ate Glow (nanggagalaitî) can answer: "Ayoko kayâ ng ganyang mga tanong!"


instead of this: Ate Glow (Kilay sobrang taas): "Ayoko ng ganyang mga tanong, noh!"



8.8.2003


Thursday, August 07, 2003

Jesus Christ Superstar

(Okay, I'm a Jesus freak.)

There are a lot of things that have been said about Jesus; here are my favorites.

The first is an oft-quoted passage but nobody ever cites the original author. One day, I read it in the Letters section of the Sunday Inquirer Magazine, but it turned out to be just an expansion (if not improvement) of the original. Anyway, here's (Ret. Col.) Charlie H. Beloso's version, as published all caps and in the shape of a cross in said magazine.

"He was born in a small and unknown village, the child of an ordinary woman. He was raised in an equally obscure village, an apprentice in a carpentry shop until He was thirty. Thereafter, for three years set foot as far as He could go to preach the gospel. He never wrote a book nor held an office. He never had a family except His mother. He never had a house nor any material possession. He never had any formal schooling nor visited a big city. His foot travels did not bring farther than two hundred miles from the small town of His birth. His accomplishments were nothing spectacular in the eyes of His contemporaries. He had no credentials but Himself. At the prime age of thirty-three He was the butt of anger and persecution by the very people that were the object of His loving care. His friends abandoned Him and one of them turned Him over to His enemies. He endured shame and humiliation and went through the mockery of a trial. He was finally nailed to a cross between two criminals and as if it were not enough, He was pierced to a cross by a spear that caused His blood to sputter. While in the agony of dying, His executioners gambled to possess His only earthly possession, the cloth on His back. When He finally died, He was buried in a borrowed grave because a friend who owned it was touched with pity. Twenty centuries have thus passed since then but today He is the one and only figure that touched all mankind. All the mighty battles that were ever fought, all the sciences that have ever changed the face of the earth, all the mighty rulers that have ever ruled the world put together, have not affected the life of mankind on this earth as much as by that one solitary life of the man who did all these just so you'd believe, have faith and trust in Him, Christ Jesus!


The second is a PR campaign of sorts I saw repeatedly on Channel 23 one Lenten season. (I hope this is 100% accurate.)


On a manger

He was born.

On a cross

He died.

As the Son of man

He came.

As the Son of God

He left.

On earth

He loved and lived.

In Heaven

He continues to save.



5.23.2000



Jesus Christ on MTV


Review: 'Exodus' - Various Artists (Rocketown Records)






I hopped into Frich's car one night and heard something playing on CD which my ears instantly warmed up to.


Exodus (Various Artists) is a kind of album I've been waiting for for so long, one that will genuinely attract the youth, no sweat, making God, prayer, and such otherwise serious stuff actually sound cool. This album speaks their language, MTV music, without sugar-coating or diluting the message to the point of obscurity.


Produced by Michael W. Smith under Rocketown Records, the lineup is started off by an instrumental piece of the same title. "Exodus" exudes a feel of how it is to cross the Red Sea together with Moses and a multitude of Jews out of the oppressiveness of Egypt. Perfect, too, while driving late at night when the roads are all but deserted.


"My Will" by DC Talk speaks about "learning to give up the rights to myself" in favor of God's will and in exchange for inner peace. One can only identify with these lines: "Complexity haunts me for I am two men/Entrenched in a battle that I'll never win/My discipline fails me, my knowledge it fools me/But You are my shelter, all the strength that I need."


Jars of Clay's "Needful Hands" starts off with a heart-tugging, melancholy guitar intro. The song is about openness in prayer, the need to express our need for God's help in times of trouble, in all humility. "You are my eyes when I cannot see/You are my voice, see, sing, through me/You are my strength in weakness be…"


"Brighten Up My Heart" is a series of similes from a book of Celtic devotion, beautifully sung in an almost child-like manner by the female lead of Sixpence None the Richer. The lyric is practically about stress but the music provides a salving counterpoint like a stress tab. "My heart is as dark as the soil sodden with winter rains/My soul is as heavy as the peat freshly dug from the bog/My thoughts swirl like willow branches caught in autumn wind/My body is as tense as a cat as it stalks its prey." "Help me open my heart to You, sweet Jesus/It's all I long to do."


"Make Us One" by Cindy Morgan is a sigh for unity, for the Lord to "make us a rainbow, make us one."


Chris Rice gently proclaims the most basic Christian doctrines in "Nothin'": "Nothin can wash away my sin, nothin' can make the devil run, nothin' can bring me peace with God, nothin' can lead me to Your throne, nothin' make Your people one. Nothin' but the blood of Jesus."


Three of my favorite pieces come one after another. "Draw Me Close" by The Katinas has its male lead's voice pleading humbly like a lamb, a voice for which I would grant plenary indulgence if I were God. And with these words of supplication, God's mercy will undoubtedly be a free-flowing river: "Draw me close to You/Never let me go/I lay it all down again/To hear You say that I'm Your friend/...You're all I want/You're all I ever needed/...Help me know You are near."


And now, for a most unexpected number: the Third Day boys, with "Agnus Dei", rumbling their way to give a heavy-metallic sheen to their alleluias. I am reminded of a band of long-ago with the same temperament, Stryper. Non-fans of rock/heavy metal will get turned off but, not to worry, this album is not created for them. As Third Day exalts to "Worthy is the Lamb/ Worthy is the Lamb," one is reminded of this somewhat chilling Book of Revelation passage (Rev 4:6-8): "...Surrounding the throne on each of its sides were four living creatures...." "...Day and night they never stop singing, "Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty..."


Naturally, one gets emotionally drained after this. The producer understands this perfectly, so it's the girls' turn this time to put things in necessary slow-mo. "Salvation Belongs to Our God" by Crystal Lewis is another instant favorite among first-time listeners, owing of course to the way Crystal Lewis sings it: lovely, heavenly.


The last piece is by Michael W. Smith himself, "I See You," which, for me, is a celebration of God in everything, a God whose face and person is in all the good things He has ever created, if only we exert an effort to look. "Lord you're leading me/With a cloud by day/And then in the night/The glow of a burning flame/And everywhere I go I see You."


What's MTV without avant-garde art? Not counting the cover design which appears to be Jewish naïf art, the folded pages containing the lyrics are dominated by gray renderings and spiritual icons (dove, omnipresent Eye, flame, etc.) in the same drab color, all of which give the look and feel of a first draft. The rawness of this design runs in stark contrast to the modern, stylish numbers and requisite electronic tricks, but hey, we're talking here of an ancient faith, aren't we?


2.28.2000


Statement on Human Cloning

The following statement is prompted by reports of the birth of babies produced by reproductive cloning.

As chairs of UK Fertility Societies, we condemn unreservedly the practice of human reproductive cloning. There are tWo main reasons why this practice should be prohibited: firstly on scientific grounds, where research on animals has shown that the procedure carries huge risks for the fetus and offspring; secondly, in terms of the implications for the psychological wellbeing of the children born, who are likely to face unimaginably severe emotional pressure.

Dr. Sue Avery: Chair, Association of Clinical Embryologists

Debbie Barber: Chair, Royal College of Nurses Fertility Nurses Group

Dr. Iwan Lewis-Jones: Chair, British Andrology Society

Dr. Alison Murdoch: Chair, British Fertility Society

Sheila Pike: Chair, British Infertility Counselling Association


(May 2003)



Don Moen, Godsend


One important event that I missed this year is watch Don Moen in concert. This American musician of Norwegian descent, I think a Baptist, holds a special place in my heart, as he does in millions of others, for giving us Catholics and non-Catholics alike an accessible kind of music that spoke to our souls, with nary a hint of proselytizing.


Moen sounds a bit like Barry Manilow after an intense prayer meeting. Personally I like Steve Kuban and others better but Moen's simple, crowd-pleasing melodies and Bible-based lyrics are something even a non-believer will find hard hating.


Don Moen is one bright star that lighted up an unexpected bridge between the Christian sects. Instead of giving in to the temptation to condemn foolish sinners 'blinded' to their so-called faith and argue with them till kingdom come, he chooses to just sing pleas, prayers and paeans to God. He prefers to delve on the commonalities that bind the divergent faiths and, always, he strikes a common chord - that latent, residual longing to unite in the name of one loving God and one self-sacrificing Savior.


Strangely, Protestants and fundamentalist Christians suddenly find themselves singing the same tunes as Catholics.' I remember a born-again friend of mine in college who heard me singing a tune she claimed to be her church's property. "Kanta namin yan, e," she said. Don Moen's music is that kind of rare musical bridge, apparently a God-send for these strife-torn, war-torn, divisive times.


There's nothing more scandalous in the world than Christians fighting each other to death. Of course, I don't expect Moen to eventually recognize as legit the following Catholic dogmas: (a) the veneration of religious icons and 'plaster saints,' (b) the special role of the Blessed Virgin Mary as the mother of Jesus Christ, (c) the infallibility of the Pope in terms of discernment in the matters of faith, and (d) other things. But there is great hope in the knowledge that contentious and fractious groups can at least sing the same love songs together - under one umbrella like the Araneta Center. Even Manila's staunchly conservative Cardinal Sin saw something in this that he'd gladly invite Moen to play his music at the archbishop's residence or some such place.


Don Moen is an inspiring whiff of change in a world wounded deeply by hate…



8.7.2003

Are Personal Computer Files Company Property?

An article that appeared in Occupational Health magazine (UK) pondered this question and came up with, at best, a vague answer. The article presented the case of an employee whose personal email files have been accessed by his employer without his knowledge. His employer cited company security or some other alibi. From what I gathered, the British court has yet to decide with finality whether it was a case of a company's violation of a person's privacy.

In its defense, the company reminded everyone that the worker's computer is company property and therefore everything contained therein remains company property. On the other hand, the lawyer of the aggrieved employee argued that the case might be likened to an employee's locker. The locker is company property but the things kept therein remain the employee's property. The company has no right to touch or take that property without the employee's consent.

The counter-arguments posed subsequently were: Doesn't the company have the right to at least open the locker and check into what's inside? What if an object, a security threat like an unauthorized gun or explosive, is being locked up? Who shall define what is threat? Where do we draw the line between a company's right to know and an individual's right to privacy?

This writer's questions: How dare an employee lay personal claim on a property he doesn’t own? How dare a company snoop into a person's private affairs like personal emails or letters?

Ah, the problems posed by the digital age…

8.6.2003


A Big Biblical Boost to Democracy (to Workers, Too)

I have to correct my very literal and incomplete interpretation of the parable of the employee who gave unequal pay for (his workers') equal work. My guru #1, a bona fide teacher on the Bible (Archdiocese of Manila) had to short of rise from his grave to give me this correction.

The correct interpretation of the parable goes this way: The employer is God. The workers in the vineyard are, of course, the people whom He has called. The laborers hired early are those who have been called early on in the work of harvesting, i.e., into God's work of sowing goodness, of knowing about His unconditional love. The laborers hired late are those who have been called at some latter time and date. The point of the parable is, no matter what time we are called, the pay is the same for everyone - eternal life!

Long live democracy!

No to unfair labor practice!


(Before it sounds like CPP-NPA sloganeering, let me thank Luz Vergara, my guru's medium, for this.)

8.6.2003




Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Movie: Away from Home


It’s been quite a long time since the Cinemanila Film Festival and yet I still can’t forget this Turkish film.
Anyone who’s ever been evicted, rented a flat, sold all his or her belongings and packed up to settle for good to be a stranger in a strange land, or have nothing but his parents’ graveyard for inheritance has a reason to shed copious tears in this little, quiet, beautiful and sad film.


This is from the Turkish Cinema Newsletter (Aug.6, 2002):


"Film critic Semih Kaplanoglu in his début treats skillfully and clearly a life-like story showing the tragedies of three Turkish generations, on the theme of emigration."


"In 2001, 1.7 million Turkish citizens - almost all of them young and educated - applied for US citizenship. In the late Eighties, thousands of women from ex-Soviet countries surged to Turkey looking for work, but hardly found any, other than prostitution. In the early Fifties, some Turkish communist intellectuals fled to the USSR as voluntary exiles or to escape imprisonment. Away From Home looks for an answer to the everlasting question 'Where is home?' by combining the tragedies of these three generations for the first time in Turkish cinema. Semih Kaplanoglu brings together one representative of each and puts them in a situation in which they have to struggle emotionally with each other and themselves in order to find out what home means to them. A land, a dream, a beloved person... Money enters as a catalyst. Away From Home isn't new in its style, but it deals with the issue of emigration in a very sensitive way. The story is true to life. The narrative is smooth and clear. It's one of the three movies released in Turkey in 2001 which aren't mainstream. Semih Kaplanoglu deserves to be part of the long expected rise of the new generation in Turkish cinema with his modest first feature."


Away from Home /Herkes Kendi Evinde. Turkey, 2001 110 min. directed by: Semih Kaplanoglu; Written by: Semih Kaplanoglu, Özden Cankaya, Serpil Kirel;Produced by: Haylaz Production sales: Turkish Films ; Cinematography by: Hayk Kirakosyan; Edited by: Hakan Akol, Onur Tan; Music by: Selim Atakan Cast: Erol Keskin, Tolga Cevik, Anna Bielska, Özlem Cinar Ve, Sükran Güngör


P.S.


Imelda Marcos should watch this movie not only because she had been a Minister of Human Settlements, but also because her husband was sentimentally toasted by two of the characters, albeit in the same vein as the communist dictators. Mike Defensor, too, should watch this so he realizes that finding a house and lot for every eligible citizen is not just about doling out house-and-lots, it is about giving home, shelter, a sense of place, identity, and cross-generational cultural continuity. Wait, if Defensor is truly intent on giving shelter to the homeless, then he, too, should give me one. Who will define the truly needy among us??


P.P.S.


Let me brag a bit. The time I watched this, I was in august company. I saw among the (thin) audience Carmen Guerrero-Nakpil, “the country’s best essayist, period,” according to Ruel de Vera, and PDI editor-in-chief Isagani Yambot.


Talaga Lang, Ha?

Another fashionable-for-now Tagalog word that bears blogging about is the extraneous 'lang' in 'Talaga lang, ha?'

I strongly suspect its usage is actually this: to supply the necessary extra syllables needed when you are impressed, surprised, or plain clueless. Instead of just interjecting 'Talaga?!,' this new iteration of language sounds a lot better.


Silly person # 1. Nag-Starbucks kami kagabi.

Silly person # 2. Talaga lang, ha?!


Silly person # 1. Galing kami ng Zamboanga.

Silly person # 2. Talaga lang, ha?!


Silly person # 1. Muntik nang pasabugin ang Glorietta!

Silly person # 2. Talaga lang, ha?!


Silly person # 1. Pautang nga ng 500 bucks?

Silly person # 2. Talaga lang, ha?!



If you're among the unfashionable people who never use this necessary extra in your day-to-day vocabulary, you can start practicing now. Let's do this together one more time: "Talaga lang, ha?!"


8.6.2003


Filipino Architecture Exists

On second thought, Frankie Mañosa's neovernacular architecture notwithstanding, there is such a thing as Filipino architecture apart from the lowly bahay kubo - and it's richer than you thought.


 Ivatan house

 Vigan bahay na bato

 Ifugao house

 Other Igorot houses (ulog, etc.)

 Taal bahay na bato

 Catholic churches in the style of Philippine baroque (Tumauini, Isabela; Miag-ao, Iloilo), plus romanesque/neoclassical elements (Manila Cathedral), neogothic (Jaro, Iloilo), with Mexican baroque elements (Morong, Rizal), etc.

 'Gabaldon' public school buildings

 American-era Municipal halls
 Have we forgotten those prototypes in Nayong Pilipino? - Samar, Bacolod, and Cebu bahay na bato

 Samal long-houses

 Maranao torogan

 Badjao house-on-stilts

 Aren't Muslim mosques a part of the Philippine tradition?




'No News' is Good News

Incredibly for the first time - in years, perhaps - no major crime story hogged the horrible headlines yesterday, or so it was reported. It was called a classic case of "'no news' is news." I think it should be "'no news' is good news." Can you imagine Korina Sanchez becoming jobless because there's no news to read?


A Senate Inquiry on Defective Umbrellas


Because it is raining aardvarks and platypuses today, allow me to declare one pet peeve. It is those cheap but utterly defective umbrellas in the market, I think locally made, that are mass-produced and designed to last one typhoon at the most. If you think this is not criminal, you can now exit this website; clearly I cannot count on you. To all bloggers, please help me in my latest lobbying; help me bring this to Mar Roxas. There ought to be a legislation against this heinous crime. Let's join hands and fight for our right to own serviceable and long-lasting umbrellas! If not now, who pa? If not us, when pa? If we can't change the way umbrellas are manufactured, how can we hope to change the world?


Kayâ

I want a Senate investigation into this wildly popular but extraneous use of the Tagalog word 'kayâ.' This is the latest addition to our wonderful vocabulary. This is how it is being used. I hope I get it right.

Traditional usage:


Sino kayâ ang nag-mastermind ng coup?

Si Gringo kayâ?




Corrupted/Evolved Usage:

Ako kayâ ang coup plotter. (Yes, this is not a question, but a puzzling admission to a crime.)

Ano'ng independent investigation? Umamin na kayâ si Trillanes. (Again, not a question but a confusing affirmation.)

Filipinos are indeed 'flips'! By the way, what happened kayâ to Flip magazine? Anyone?


The Post-Bayani State of Philippine Sidewalks

(somewhere in the wrong side of Makati)

I still weave through the 7:30 morning traffic in a state of total harassment. It's like being sexually violated, forgoing the sex part. As I cross the street to get to the more convenient side of the road, the looming figure of a Ford Expedition threatens to crush me. I shoot back a deadly stare at the monster behind the wheel. They say there are only two constants in this world, death and taxes. I add vehicles hurtling at you just when you are about to cross the street. Can anyone reconsider the fact that heavy traffic is caused primarily by the sheer number of private cars?


Getting safely to the other side doesn't mean I'd be taking a walk in the park. No sir, it means a lot more things to do:


Sidestep obstreperously irksome barkers and jeepneys jostling each other for clueless passengers' attention.


Avoid getting sideswiped.


Be on guard against cell phone snatchers.


Hop over horrendous dog poos, icky blobs of green phlegm, the occasional pothole that leads to an Alice-in-Wonderland subterranean world.


Stop over at the buko juice king and his rickety cart - and risk hepatitis A, B, C, non-A and non-B. (Yes, there are several species of the hepatitis virus, none of which is endangered.)


Having your expensive, carefully chosen Hugo Boss scent canceled by billows of delicious pork barbecue smoke, which becomes your perfume du jour.


Double-parked jeeps and tricycles leave you with no choice but walk like a ramp model right smack in the middle of the road - under the pains of a head-on collision.


Wish for a horrendous traffic ahead so that crossing the street would be 100% fail-safe.

I would like to think that I did my little part in lobbying MMDA to make this city a little less hellish, a little more livable. I wanna reap my good karma - now!



Cigars and Salsa (Dining in Mexicali, Debating about Cigarettes and Cigars)

Rey, a rabid advocate of No Smoking signs sees cigarette smoking as sin. But Froilan, chewing at his chicken burrito, says it depends. “If it becomes habitual, definitely it is a vice.”


"At last I've found an ally," Tito declares, as he cuts into his creamy enchilada. Tito quickly thinks up of a support statement that won’t hurt the one-man opposition party. “Cigarette smoking is really bad due to the different poisonous chemicals involved in the processing of tobacco. But what about 100% tobacco, like, cigars?,” he says.


“Still it contains nicotine which is poisonous and addictive,” Rey counters as he dips a tortilla into his salsa.”


“But coffee and Coke also has caffeine. Maybe it’s only a matter of moderation," Tito continues. "After all, nothing is safe anymore. Mine tailings find their way into the lakes and seas, and where do we get all the fish we eat? Fruits and vegetables have traces of pesticides, if not soaked in formalin. Canned meats and cold cuts have nitrite and some have lead."


"What's the point when the very air we breathe in the street also has lead and carbon monoxide?" Froilan says in support. "Mineral water can cause deposition of calcium in the blood vessels. Chlorinated water disinfect our tap water and swimming pools, but the chlorine is reported to cause bladder cancer."


"Swine have the ability to process the poisons they have ingested through a diet that consist largely of kitchen roughage, but where else do all those toxins go in the pork we love to barbecue? Cell phone use allegedly causes brain tumor."


"And haven’t you heard of people who absolutely don’t drink or smoke yet die of no less than cancer?"


“As to the issue of addiction,” Tito resumes his discourse, “it’s all relative. If you’re predisposed to nicotine addiction, by all means, nip the habit in the bud. If you’re not, what’s an occasional cigar and brandy to keep you relaxed and happy?”


Froilan seems to be impressed with Tito’s lecture as he digs into his bed of lettuce and tomatoes. Apparently, Rey is not, foremost owing to the trumped-up mediagenic image of cigarette smokers, something which he abhors in his gut. The debate appears to have no end so they have to change the topic.


One notices why Mexicans are so fixated with corn chips, beans and tomatoes. Many outsiders are averse to eating Mexican because of the raw-onion flavor which imparts a certain rancidity to the food. But who doesn’t love tequila?


The three debaters hunker down for their plates to avoid fomenting further animosity. An Aztec mask hanging on the wall of the restaurant gives a contemptuous look over them. The wooden table has a white glazed tile embedded in the middle. The tile has an ancient Mexican design that reminds of those weird syllabary like Teotihuacan and Tenochtitlan. The wooden chairs have hemp ropes tied all around, in place of nails or screws, so the chairs move as you change sitting positions. One fears Zorro would come barging in anytime with his overly mustachioed amigos in their wide-brimmed hats. The walls are decorated with complementary photographs and painting repros. One hopes for an Orozco, a Tamayo, or a Siquieros-like mural. There’s also a framed instruction on how to devour a burrito, a la Mejicano.


The three cannot help but go back to the subject at hand. Enough of that Mexican thing. Someone remembers an officemate who was gifted with a fat cigar after news broke out that his wife had just given birth to a baby boy. Another brings up the issue of cigars as sex objects, as a phallic symbol. Of course, it doesn’t help that the Starr report on the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky affair gave a pornographic twist to it. It was allegedly a Philippine-made cigar that got involved!


Tossing his Corona beer with the gulp of finality, Tito asks, “If smoking is so bad, then why did God invent tobacco?"


"Isn't it a little like asking why God invented marijuana (cannabis)?"


One hears a taco shell cracking.



12.14.1998



Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Uso Pa Ba Ang Coup?

Suppose coup plotters won and took over, which country in the world would support them? Liberia?

Gaya-gaya

If Arnie Schwartzenegger indeed runs for governor of California opposite Larry Flynt, then it's confirmed: Americans are aping the Philippines' rambunctious style of democracy. See this crazy story.





Negative Humor Damages Relationships

124.


It can be a tragic mistake to even participate in it passively - by appreciating the joke with our laughter. Sure, negative humor is fun in all caps, who wouldn't enjoy it? It perks up an otherwise tedious and bland working life. It makes things less demanding. It's a perfect comic relief.


But is it really? Negative humor is often done on somebody's expense. "Why do you walk like a penguin?" "Look at how he speaks, he quacks like a duck." These are just soft examples but all are unwarranted personal attacks.


Words, these are just words, we say. But words have a certain power. There are words, no matter how funny, that strike somebody's vulnerable chord, words that trigger bad memories - and with them, all the attendant pain and embarrassment. We cannot be too scrupulous with words.


All of us have that vulnerable part in our psyche. That's why even when negative humor is self-deprecating, it is capable of damaging ourselves, unless we are strong enough and humble enough to take anything. Generally, though, we cannot pretend we're invincible to such put-downs. All of us - even those who assume a tough façade, has that inner onion skin waiting to be shattered.


It would be a good thing if a putdown engenders humility. That would keep our feet on the ground. That would keep us human. But isn't our mortality more than enough? What if the joke triggers our innermost insecurities or any of the struggles we've been fighting inside ourselves? The consequences are disastrous. There is such a things as a bad joke.


It's prudent to refrain from participating in such jokes. It's advisable not to be an author of such jokes.
And we should equally demand not to be its subject. Everyone has the right to be encouraged, affirmed, inspired.


A Christian writer, Mark Kinzer, has written a classic, 'Taming the Tongue,' where he says that our tongue is like the rudder of a boat. It's just a little piece of a seemingly harmless muscle but it is capable of bringing down a personal reputation or an entire civilization. Like a rudder, the tongue can guide us to the safety of the shore or to the mouth of certain destruction.


This doesn't translate to a workplace that's dead serious, to the point of lugubrious, either. It's a myth, nay a lie, that negativity has a monopoly of what is fun. Dare to try harmless, non-malicious jokes instead and see how the workplace perks up just like before - minus the guilt. Harmless jokes never capitalize on other people's weakness. Best of all, they are free from negative backlash. They never damage relationships, they only nurture them.


Let's exorcise the workplace from the demon of excoriating humor. It's certainly hard to change overnight something we've been doing since birth, but it's a good thing to try some positive change. If we may paraphrase a line attributed to Goethe, "Watch your words…they become your destiny."


7.6.2003

Politically Incorrect (But Realistic) Workplace Tips

123.


Read the following nuggets of wisdom I've gleaned from here and there.


Rule No. 1. Never outshine the boss.


That’s what a first-wave Chinese migrant told his son when the old man was still alive. It would prove to be an invaluable lesson for anyone: Be aware where you stand in the pecking order, if you're not afraid to be humiliated. Yes, it's all about humility, the acceptance of who you are, for now.


Rule No. 2. If you're the boss, don’t tell everything you know.


Protect your trade secrets. Don't share all the ingredients to your success recipes, unless you can afford it. Don't unnecessarily reveal your pricing scheme with competitors. Make your subordinates really need you. This is not selfishness, it's survival, it's practicality.


Rule No. 3. I actually heard this from a Chinoy friend: 'Never entrust the business to Filipinos.' It's patently racist and offensive, of course, but there is a trace of truth to it. It can at least mean, 'Never entrust the business to total strangers or non-referrals.' If somebody commits a serious offense in the company, make sure you have a legal means to fight back.


Rule No. 4. Don't be overly honest when it comes to your weaknesses. Don't say things about yourself when it's not necessary. It's not about barefaced lying, it's called diplomacy and self-promotion. It's keeping one's best foot forward. White lies are not evil, i.e., if the intention is loving or being charitable and self-affirming. But limit lying to areas that are gray, or you'd be lying like the devil. Say, for instance, that you officially resigned or your contract has been terminated (as was the case), instead of saying outright that you were fired (which was essentially what happened). Either that or you never get a job, ever.


Rule No. 5. If you have helped someone, never expect to be helped back or you risk getting disappointed. Expect nothing in return. Prepare for the worst when you risk helping someone: it can actually mean getting hurt as deeply as the sympathy you have shown. Accept the fact that some souls are ingrates and downright unkind.


Rule No. 6. Never borrow money from a single individual if you can help it. If you think it’s all a matter of pride, think again. Borrowing makes you beholden to the lender, which needless to say, opens the door to a lot of compromise.


Rule No. 7. Money, no matter if it’s the root of all evil, is power. In the materialistic world of capitalism, this means a lot. In fact, this means everything. To a certain extent, Madonna was right. The point is not to accumulate wealth in order to become powerful but to never allow oneself to be powerless because one is penniless. A little suffering is good for the soul but material poverty can also lead to evil.


7.4.2003


Watson and Crick's Double Helix is 50 Years Old. What's Next?

The editor of the Journal of Separation Science has the answer: the proteome.

Excerpt:

"The first phase of the Human Genome Project is approaching its end, thanks to the development of ultrafast protein separation technology, which in turn has enabled the fast sequencing of genes - an explosion of throughput up to 1.5 x 106 DNA bases per day. Research on the proteome is going to target the gene expression network and the changes of proteins induced by effects such as disease, environment, or drug treatment. In other words, the knowledge of the exact composition of proteins within a living body and its changes reflecting both healthy and sick states will help us to study the pharmacological action of potential drugs at the same rate as new candidates will be created using the methods of combinatorial chemistry and high throughput screening. This approach is assumed to simplify and accelerate the currently used lengthy and labor-intensive experiments with living biological objects. The human body may contain up to about 100,000 proteins, of which 75% yet have no known function. In contrast to the genome, the proteome is dynamic in nature; its composition changes not only among individuals but also within each organism along with time. These changes might be very tiny yet significant and must be detected at the same speed as they occur. To achieve this goal, new, advanced, and both very efficient and selective multidimensional separation methods as well as materials must be developed for 'high-throughput' proteomics."


Slovenia Honors Architect by Putting Him on a Banknote

What stupid country would have the idea of honoring an architect by making his bust and most prominent work appear on a 500-tolar (monetary unit) banknote?

Answer: Slovenia. This is a central European country whose capital is Ljubljana, a city where architect Joze Plecnik "spent the best part of his working life." Working in Ljubljana means dealing with an important center of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Plecnik (1872-1957) "has stitched together a complex urban fabric [ancient structures, old structures, new structures] into a harmonious whole."

"His architectural vocabulary is classical, but using such wit and invention that it can sometimes be thought of as working outside the language of neoclassicism."…

His body of work, in essence, seems to say that "who we are is partly a reflection of who we were, but he was not trying to recreate the past. Ljubljana is a modern city, but it is also a city rich with memory."

The only other architects to be so honored are: Christopher Wren, Thomas Jefferson, and Alvar Aalto.



Are All Sufferings Intrinsically Evil?

I am asking the question again because I have come to doubt whether it is. I am wondering whether all forms of pain are essentially our inherited punishment for Adam and Eve's fall from grace.

Instances like the well-known case study of Roseanne Romero - a young, pretty fashion model who contracted a debilitating neurological disease, multiple sclerosis, just a few weeks or months into her marriage - refute the notion that all suffering is evil.

Ms. Romero has claimed in her Kerygma column and on a personal testimony on TV that it's her suffering with MS, a physically painful and embarrassing disorder, that made her know God's love better. "It is through MS that I met the Lord. It is through MS that I have come to know the Lord better." Well-meaning people, she said, have always approached her offering prayers for healing, but they were unknowingly more judgmental than helpful. "Because of MS, I feel loved by the Lord more," she insisted.

I also know of someone who got blind and bruised in an accident but miraculously regained her sight after the ordeal. It was that vehicular 'accident,' she claimed, that she got to know the love of God better.

We are not talking here about an extraordinarily religious or superstitious individual. We are referring to a person of science who had been dealing with theoretical models and empirical evidence. The accident corrected her existing view of the world, she said, which was ironically blind to God's ways, to one that regarded everything in terms of how God sees things. She said her temporary physical blindness, an authentic medical miracle according, no less, to the ophthalmologist who operated on her, was like a lifting of the veil of another kind of blindness, one that was spiritual.

To those who genuinely want to know and love God, even a terrible suffering can be a form of His love-in-disguise - if viewed through a spiritual prism. Indeed, His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not like our thoughts.

An inevitable implication of this view is that we couldn't dismiss outright somebody's pain as God's punishment. Aside from running the risk of being judgmental, we might be guilty of gross inaccuracy, too.




8.4.2003

Monday, August 04, 2003

Montage: A Twisted Tale, A Fairy Tale

Twisted Tale

The driver of the colorum FX taxi I took was evidently a policeman - and he didn't even exert an effort to hide it. His dark blue uniform hung proudly beside him. He had a gun tucked under his belt. It made me feel nervous. When he counted his money at the end of our trip, he claimed that one passenger hadn't paid yet. He ran out in hot pursuit of the possible offender - to no avail. I ended up laughing nervously at him - and he at himself.

Twisted.com is a website religiously devoted to things weird. Check it out. Caveat: Click at your own risk.



Fairy Tale


I had another ridiculous over-the-weekend story.

Do you know this building in Makati (name withheld) where a GMA 7 teleserye does locations shootings? On top of this building is a fabulous living room where Maricel Soriano reportedly had her Makati office scene shot, in the movie Mano Po. The window indeed gives a breathtaking postcard view of the Ayala Avenue skyline. This piece of earthly paradise is being rented out to movie and TV outfits to the tune of at least P50,000 per shooting day. (That's supposedly a very low figure.)

I was there with some old friends who are devoted followers of these teleseryes for lack of other things to do at home. Direk Maryo delos Reyes was at the helm. I ran into the new actor Yul Servo. (I swear I was taller at kasing-guwapo ko lang. Joke.) Yul is an award-winning actor who appeared in Lav Diaz's Batang Westside, one of the local movies I hope to see. My friend (a she) managed to get past the ultra-strict cordon sanitaire (hidden cameras) to witness the actual proceedings in the attic.

The luxurious furnishings you see on TV are not production sets or props but the actual accessories of actual rooms of a large condo unit. The richly upholstered sofa set, the antiques, the blue glass vases, the intricately painted china, the artwork by masters - they're all for real. We happen to know someone who's related to the owner of all these; it's a friend's uncle. Let me hazard a guess on the brand names in use - Baccarat, Limoges, Murano, Bernardaux, Christofle, Lalique. (Does Oneida kitchenware count?) It couldn't be helped that the demeanor of this bunch of hampas-lupa from middle earth was properly regal and protocol-conscious. Snobbish trademarks automatically do that to you.

But when my friend saw one male star, she approached him at once and squealed, "AAAlbeeert!" It was Albert Martinez. Then she saw Yul Servo and she exclaimed, "Yuuul! Asan si Angelica (dela Cruz)?" Amy (Perez) was also present.

The actors allegedly gave our friend an empty face that said "Huh?!", a picture of total consternation and incredulity. Angelica, it turned out, was inside another room and was having her face made up or retouched by a makeup artist. But she soon relented and went out to say hi upon learning that someone in our group was "naglilihi" (presumably sa kanya).

Later on, our star-struck company feasted on our friend's grand act of terrorism on the GMA 7 soap stars. For her karmic reward, our friend lost her umbrella that night.

This was the same girl who didn't hesitate to have her picture taken with Eddie Garcia - get this, with a bubbletop coffin in the background. Eddie Garcia happened to visit a friend's wake in Paz Funeral Homes in Aurora Blvd (?). The deceased was the father of our friend's cousin's husband.

I love being with these people because they have zero pretensions, but things could get very, very embarrassing. Too much honesty apparently borders on impropriety.

A corollary question: Does sophistication necessarily imply a complex behavior? Is that kind of complexity good? I am always wary about complex people, but I find them attractive. As a song nicely put it, "Complexity haunts me for I am two men." A complex person is not a very honest person; more likely he has a lot of insecurity or pride - or fear - in him. The person is a mystery, an enigma, and for anyone who solves a crossword puzzle whenever he sees one, that person is surely interesting, worth pondering upon. One tends to look up to sophisticated people and look down on simple folks, but simplicity can be seen as naivete as much as sophistication can be seen as but a reflection of the fact that real life is never what appears on the surface. But complex people? I dunno. I give up on complex people.

Whichever the case, if I were in a celebrity's glamorous (Prada) shoes, I would want to enforce this rule on my screaming and drooling public:

Rule No. 1. All poor, unfortunate souls and lesser mortals should at least keep distance (about two meters) if they cannot feign disinterest. I'm not asking for respect of privacy; I'm only asking for my right not to be scared off.


8.3.2003


P.S. These unending coup rumors are killing me. Gringo in Magallanes, Gringo here, Gringo there. We can effect change without killing anyone, can't we? Please, let's not sully the Philippines' legacy of nonviolent revolution.



A Wish for Regine

Speaking of sophistication - or is it complexity, I am of the strong opinion that Regine's special vocal ability is better suited to jazz, as in Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, or that woman in Sergio Mendez. Or at least Basia jazz. I don't expect her to do scat singing or be-bop, just a more sophisticated phrasing that would exploit - and showcase - her vocal range all the same. I realize now why I don't like Regine's singing at all: her phrasing is in need of more jazzed-up sophistication. Leave pop music to the others. (My benchmark for a highly evolved pop music is Howard Jones' music.) Try Latin jazz. You can do it!

8.4.2003








Friday, August 01, 2003

Reading List for Creative Writing Majors Undergraduate Program, DECL, University of the Philippines, Diliman, Quezon City


This has revealed how poor my knowledge is about Philippine Literature. I indicate with asterisk the ones I've ever read.


This was taken from Manuel Viloria's page: www.viloria.com

Fiction

(Novels and Short Stories)

Javellana, Stevan - Without Seeing the Dawn (novel)

Joaquin, Nick - The Woman Who Had Two Navels (novel)

Santos, Bienvenido - The Man Who (Thought He) Looked Like Robert Taylor (novel)

Gonzales, NVM* - A Season of Grace (novel)

Joaquin, Nick* - Choose 3 stories from either

• Prose and Poems*

• Tropical Gothic

Santos, Bienvenido - 3 stories from You Lovely People or The Day the
Dancers Came or Brother My Brother

Gonzalez, NVM - 3 stories from Bread of Salt or Look Stranger on this Island

Now or Children of the Ash-Colored Loam (Comment: What about 'A Grammar of Dreams'*? - rso)

Arcellana, Francisco - 5 stories from The Francisco Arcellana Sampler

Alfon, Estrella - 3 short stories from Magnificence or Stories

Jose, F. Sionil* - 3 short stories from Waywaya or Platinum (essays only)

Benitez, Paz Marquez - 2 stories (I discovered Dead Stars from here*)

Sulit, Loreto Paras - 2 stories

Latorena, Paz - 2 stories

Arguilla, Manuel - 4 short stories from How My Brother Leon Brought Home a Wife

Tiempo, Edith - Blade of Fern (novel)

Polotan, Kerima - The Hand of the Enemy (novel)

Bulosan, Carlos - America is in the Heart (autobiography/novel)

Brillantes, Gregorio* - 5 short stories from The Distance to Andromeda and the Apollo Centennial

Fernando, Gilda Cordero* - 5 short stories from Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker or A Wilderness of Sweets (both books are re-issued as Story Collection)

Polotan, Kerima* - 3 stories from Stories

Rosca, Ninotchka - 3 stories from Bitter Country or Monsoon Collection

Hidalgo, Cristina* - 3 stories from either

• Ballad of a Lost Season

• Tales for a Rainy Night

• Where Only the Moon Rages

Rosca, Ninotchka - State of War (novel)

Yuson, Alfred* - The Great Philippine Jungle Energy Cafe (novel)

Castillo, Erwin* - The Firewalkers (both the nouvella and the stories included in this book)

Hidalgo, Cristina - Recuerdo (novel)

Dalisay, Jose V.* - Killing Time in a Warm Place (novel) (his Today columns only)

Gamalinda, Eric* - Confessions of a Volcano (novel) (his poems only)

Dalisay, Jose - 3 stories from Old Timer or Sarcophagus or Penmanship

Gamalinda, Eric - 3 stories from Peripheral Visions

Ong, Charlson - 5 stories from Men of the East or Woman of Amkaw or Conversion

Enriquez, Antonio - 3 stories from Spots On Their Wings or The Night I Cry

Casper, Lindy Ty - 3 stories from Common Continent or Hazards of Distance

Dayrit, Joy - 3 stories from The Walk


2 stories each from the following writers - 10 stories total

Rotor, Arturo - The Wound and the Scar or The Men Who Play God

Tiempo, Edith - Abide, Joshua

Ford, Aida Rivera - The Chiefest Mourner

Ayala, Tita Lacambra - Pieces of String

Torrevillas, Rowena Tiempo - Among the Willows

Not part of the original reading list, but Manuel decided to put it in anyway:

Sitoy, Lakambini* - Mens Rea and Other Stories(Essays only)

Essays and Non-Fiction Narratives

2 selections each by 10 of these writers - 20 essays total
1.

Lopez, S.P. - Literature and Society

2. Icasiano, F.B. - Horizons From My Nipa Hut

3. Cristobal, Adrian* - Pasquinades

4. Ventura, Sylvia - Ragtime in Kamuning

5. de Quiros, Conrad* - Flowers from the Rubble or Dance of the Dunces

6. Nakpil, Carmen Guerrero* - Woman Enough or A Question of Identity
(She's reportedly the country's best essayist but I have yet to read her book)

7. Polotan, Kerima* - Author's Choice or Adventures in a Forgotten Country (So far, she's the best female essayist I've read.)


8. Mayuga, Sylvia* - Spy In My Own Country or Essays For A Decade

9. Zafra, Jessica* - Twisted or Womanagerie or Twisted Too(I thought Philippine literature started from her Twisted series)

10. Dalisay, Jose Y.* - The Best of Barfly

11. Hidalgo, Cristina*

• I Remember

• Five Years in a Forgotten Land*

• Skyscrapers Celadon and Kimchi*

• The Path of the Heart*

12. Garcellano, Rosario* - Mean Streets (Occasional travelogues only)

13. Ocampo, Ambeth*

• Bonifacio's Bolo

• Aguinaldo's Breakfast

• Mabini's Ghost

14. Abad, Gemino* - State of Play

Drama
1.

Joaquin, Nick - Portrait of the Artist As Filipino

2. One of the following plays:

• Guerrero, Wilfrido Ma. - Condemned; Wanted A Chaperone

• Alfon, Estrella - Forever Witches

• Juan, Anton - Death in the Form of a Rose

• Florentino, Alberto - The World is an Apple

• Nolledo, Wilfredo - Turn Red The Sea

Poetry

Three poems by each poet - a total of 153 poems

1. Glora, Angela Manalang

2. Tarrosa-Subido, Trinidad

3. Zulueta da Costa, Rafael

4. Villa, Jose Garcia*

5. Santos, Bienvenido

6. Daguio, Amador

7. de Zuñiga, Oscar

8. Ilio, Dominador

9. Arcellana, Francisco

10. Viray, Manuel

11. Joaquin, Nick*

12. Tiempo, Edith* (poems only, which I didn't understand without an accompanying critique)


13. Demetillo, Ricaredo

14. Angeles, Carlos

15. Moreno, Virginia

16. Hufana, Alejandrino

17. Francia, Hilario

18. Ayala, Tita Lacambra

19. Lumbera, Bienvenido

20. Torres, Emmanuel

21. Dimalanta, Ophelia

22. Tinio, Rolando

23. San Juan, Epiphanio

24. Guillermo, Gelacio

25. Espino, Federico Licsi

26. Abad, Gemino H.*

27. Bautista, Cirilo F.*

28. Cabalquinto, Luis*

29. Peña-Reyes, Myrna

30. Alunan, Merlie

31. Lanot, Marra*

32. Yuson, Alfred*

33. Lacaba, Jose,

34. Francia, Luis* (essays only)

35. An Lim, Jaime

36. Garcellano, Edel

37. Salanga, Alfredo Salanga

38. Lacaba, Emmanuel
(What, there are two Lacabas?)
39. Torrevillas, Rowena

40. de Ungria, Ricardo

41. Kilates, Marne*

42. Sunico, Ramon*

43. Evasco, Marjorie*

44. Banzon, Isabella

45. Cortes, Fidelito

46. Gamalinda, Eric*

47. Arcellana, Juaniyo* (Philippine Star essays only)

48. Lim, Fatima

49. Aguilar-Carino, Maria Luisa* (I remember her as a humble teacher in UP Baguio; I barely understand her poems)

50. Remoto, Danton*

51. Garcia, J. Neil*



A Valiant Defense of the Essay as an Art Form

I wonder what the pioneer essayist Montaigne would have said about this. I took this as a valiant defense of the essay, couched in a politely parsed literary diplomatese:

Breaking Barriers: The Essay and the Non-Fiction Narrative

By Cristina Pantoja-Hidalgo


A Brief Introduction

The essay has always been a kind of outsider. When it records personal impressions, reminiscences, or reflections in a light, whimsical, humorous tone, it is grudgingly accepted as a kind of stepsister. When it deals with serious subjects in a sober, analytical, formal tone, it is declared to be philosophy, history; sociology or political science, and banished altogether.

True, the Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature and the Manila Critics Circle National Book Awards now include the essay as an official category; and courses in the writing of the essay are part of the Creative Writing curriculum in the University of the Philippines. But one proof that it is still not regarded as equal in importance to poetry, fiction or the drama is that the national creative writing workshops—held in Baguio, the Visayas and Davao (by the University of the Philippines), in Dumaguete (by the Creative Writing Foundation), and in Iligan (by Mindanao State University)—are not open to essay writers.1 Another proof is its neglect by literary critics.2

The idea seems to be that the essay is easy to write. After all, politicians, priests, and pedants of every stripe produce countless lectures, speeches, sermons, papers, theses and dissertations which could all be called “formal essays.” And practically everyone who thinks he or she can write—from the newspaper columnist, pounding out his weekly 400 words, to the college freshman struggling through his English composition assignments—produces what is referred to variously as the “informal” or “personal” or “familiar” essay.

Because of this notion—that anyone can write an essay—many in fact do. The result is material of such voluminous quantity and such uneven quality that it only reinforces the prejudice against the essay as a literary form.

Writers who are mainly essayists contribute to this confusion by being apologetic about their writing. Carmen Guerrero Nakpil, for instance, commenting on her often being called “an expert in the field- of the essay,” wrote:

"I am afraid that distinction was earned only by my having been such a bad short story
writer. My short stories were so bad that my friends would say, Of course they’re bad.
They’re not short stories, they’re essays. When one is not much good as a fish, one
becomes a frog."

"In desperation, I put together some stuff that had appeared in newspapers and magazines
under my by-line into a kind of nonbook called Woman Enough and called it a collection
of essays. But somebody has now written that a few of the pieces in that item are not
essays but short stories." (Nakpil 1973:4)

Moreover, there is no clear definition of what an essay is. To quote Nakpil once again:

"Essays, then, are what no other form of writing seems willing to be. A bad short story, a
letter that lets one off from an undesirable engagement or money debt, fiction that can
never be published as fiction because it has too much truth in it, a libelous tract,
propaganda material, an extended joke, a parody or satire, a private quarrel or a public
flirtation any and all of these can be called an essay and the subject of prose writing." (P. 5)

In fact, it is as difficult to write a good essay as it is to write a good short story or poem or 1-act play. And despite the tendency of “creative writers” to be snobbish toward the essay, some gifted fictionists, poets and playwrights make rather bad essayists. Whereas many journalists, who are generally disinclined to make claims regarding the literary value of their writings, produce fine essays.

But when does a feature article become an essay, hence, “literature”? How about an interview story? or a column? or a movie review? Is “literariness” a matter of subject or style or approach or tone? For that matter, when does a story or narrative become an essay? And given the paradigms of poststructuralist criticism, should we be worrying about these distinctions at all? Are not all these materials simply “texts”?

Since it is necessary, in a book of this sort, to decide upon what particular “texts” are to be covered by the label, I shall begin by specifying that for purely practical reasons, this short overview will not concern itself with that type of “formal essay” which may be called an intellectual treatise and includes philosophical disquisitions, academic lectures, political speeches, and a whole slew of other texts not generally regarded as “imaginative literature” or “creative writing,” and therefore not generally included in literature textbooks. But it should be noted that there is, in the Philippines, a rich tradition of the essay as political treatise; and today’s newspaper columnists like Adrian Cristobal, Yen Makabenta, Conrado de Quiros, and others like them, have illustrious predecessors in the writers of the Propaganda Movement, who wrote in Spanish and whose vehicle was also a newspaper, the La Solidaridad.

As for the so-called “informal essay,” in my view, it may be about anything in the world, from the pro-choice/pro-life debate to the evanescent beauty of summer blossoms. It may be written in any style—straightforward or oblique, simple or complex, laconic or exuberant, humorous or lyrical. And it may adopt any tone, from dead earnest to whimsical to self-mocking. The only requirement is that the voice of the writer ring clear and true and fine. Which is just another way of saying that the writer should have something significant to say and that he/she should say it well.

As to the matter of the difference between essay and story, that is, between expository and narrative writing, I agree with Edward Hoagland that “the point an essayist is trying to illustrate takes precedence over his ‘story.’” (Hoagland 1993:74)

"The personal essay is meant to be like a household implement, a frying pan hinging from
a punchboard, or a chat at the kitchen table, though it need not remain domestic; it can
become anguished, confessional, iconoclastic, or veer from comfortable wit to mastectomy,
chemotherapy, and visions of death, just as the talk in the parlor does. Essayists are
ambidextrous, not glamorous; switch-hitters going for the single, not the home run.
They’re character actors, not superstars. They plug along in a modest manner (if any writer
can be called modest), piling up masonry incrementally, not trying for the Taj Majal like
the ambitious novelist." (p.78)

From this perspective, Danton Remoto’s book reviews are essays. So are Doreen Fernandezs columns on food. And so are some of Dr. Margarita Holmes’ responses to readers’ queries regarding their sexual hang-ups.

The field today is an incredibly varied place, and it is also located in the pages of newspapers and magazines, as indeed it was in the time of the first Filipino essayists in English during the Commonwealth period.


Pre-War

There seems to be a consensus that the Commonwealth Period was a kind of golden age for the familiar essay.3 Among the prominent practitioners of the art were: Jorge Bocobo, Carlos P. Romulo, Vidal Tan, Mauro Mendez, Cristino, Jamias, I.V Mallari, Juan Collas’, Antonio and Ariston Estrada, Federico, Mangahas, Maria Luna-Lopez, Lydia Villanueva-Arguilla, Maria Kalaw-Katigbak, A.E. Litiatco, Jose A. Lansang, Francisco B. Icasiano, Fernando M. Maramag, Amado Dayrit, Alfredo Gonzalez, Pura Santillan-Castrence, Francisco Arcellana, Estrella D. Alfon, Arturo Rotor, and Josefa Estrada.

Unfortunately, all the collections of pre-war essays in English are out of print. The first of these, Dear Devices, Being a First Volume of Familiar Essays in English, published in 193 3, was a collection of essays by some of the members of that first generation of Filipino essayists in English (Antonio Estrada, A.E. Litiatco, Maria Luna-Lopez, Federico Mangahas, Jose A. Lansang, Ariston Estrada, Maria Kalaw-Katigbak and Francisco B. Icasiano).

The first single-author book of familiar essays was The Call of the Heights by Alfredo Q. Gonzalez (1937), a collection of what may perhaps be called inspirational pieces.” Literature and Society by Salvador P. Lopez, published in 1940, collected some familiar essays that originally appeared in his column, “So It Seems,” in the Herald (along with the piece titled “Literature and Society,” included in this collection because of its importance in articulating an aesthetic which continues to influence some Filipino writers today). This was followed by Horizons from My Nipa Hut (1941) by Francisco B. Icasiano, a selection of his columns in the Sunday Tribune Magazine. And mention should be made here of Sand in the Palm, which, although published in 1976, is a collection of Maria Luna-Lopezs pre-war essays.

In these volumes may already be found practically all the varieties of the essay in English as practised in the Philippines today—social commentary, reverie, reflection, recollection, meditation, humorous sketch, journal entry, letter, travel sketch, profile. The contemporary reader will probably find some of these pieces rather naive, both in the use of the English language and in the worldview they reflect.

For instance:

"After it was decided that I was going to enroll in the University, I broached the subject
of journalism. I was disgusted to find out that a journalist is a newspaper man, a hunter of
news, of anything to thrill and excite the public. It belonged to the earth, not to the beautiful
heavens I dreamed of soaring to with the sweet and tender words from my pen." (Kalaw-
Katigbak [1929], “What I Should Like Most to Be,” in Reyes 1977:22.)

Or this:

"Another lesson I learned from Bacong is found in the fact that the river was not merely
determined to flow just anywhere but to reach the great end. Many streams manage to
surmount barriers they meet along the way, but they come out of obstacles after much labor,
only to end in a foul and stagnant marsh or lake. How like so many human lives! How like
so many people who, in the springtime of their youth and in the summer of their early
manhood, showed splendid heroism against frowning odds, determined to overcome those
hostile barriers, only in the autumn of their lives to end in defeat, disgrace and remorse."
(Gonzalez [1937], “The Will of a River,” in Reyes, 228)

On the other hand, he/she will also be much struck by the sophisticated humor of Francisco B. Icasiano’s rutninations on Filipino idiosyncracies and habits, using as a technical device the point of view of Mang Kiko, “the nipa-shack philosopher.” Take, for instance, his account of the baptism of the “unhappy child” who, unconsulted, faced a bleak future with the name of “Juan Eeddy Tampalasan.” During the ceremony, the child

"... Bolted across the baptistery with surprising speed, followed by the priest, the acolytes,
the political-god-father and Aling Juana... was finally caught and subdued at the door of the
east wing of the church, but only after he had successfully proven that he just would not
take Christianity without a struggle." (Icasiano [1941] “At the Baptismal Font,” in Reyes, 302)

The reader will likewise be beguiled by the poetry of Francisco ArcellanA column, “Art and Life,” in the Philippines Herald Mid-week Magazine:

"The thing to do is to admit tenderness if you are tender, to admit hardness if you are hard: to
be no more than the emerald being no more and no less than what it was intended to be."

The thing to do is to be as the emerald then: emerald being emerald. (Arcellana [1940],
“Art and Life,” in Reyes, 302)

And charmed by the ingenuity of Lydia Villanueva-Arguilla’s essay “On a Pencil”:

"I don’t sharpen my pencils too fine either, it seems a lot of waste to scrape away so much
lead (or is it graphite?) when I could maybe work off the rough edges by writing directly
with the dull point. Foolish parsimony. For the too dull point fails to make the letters stand
out cleanly, separately."

"Just so, an author obscures his theme - not paring away interfering words and phrases of
which he is sentimentally fond. It is a miserliness as inhibiting as mine with pencils,
especially colored pencils." (Arguilla [1938], “On a Pencil,” in Reyes, 2 3 1)


Post-War

After the war, Francisco Arcellana continued to write essays, as well as his column “Through a Glass Darkly” in This Week magazine. So did Amador T. Daguio, Estrella D. Alfon, and Pura SantillanCastrence. And Kerima Polotan, Adrian Cristobal, F. Sionil Jose, Rosalinda Orosa, D. Paulo Dizon and NX.M. Gonzalez began publishing essays.

In 1962, Yay Pantilio-Marking collected some of the essays which had originally appeared in her.column “Where a Country Begins,” published in the Weekly Women’s Magazine from 1955 to 1961. Most of these are more like narratives, dealing with her own life, her adventures and misadventures as a newspaperwoman. So even here we have a blurring of the distinction between exposition and narration, a blurring which could be said to be one of the characteristics of the essay today.

Of the new practitioners of the craft of the essay, perhaps the most distinguished was Carmen Guerrero Nakpil. Woman Enough and Other Essays (Vibal, 1963) is a compilation of pieces previously published in different Manila periodicals, including the Manila Chronicle, which ran her column, “My Humble Opinion,” for 12 years. These essays are unequalled in their clean, tight structure, clear-eyed analysis of social foibles, urbane wit, cool irony, and subtly disguised erudition.

Very typical is her santacruzan piece:

"The santacruzan, that seasonal phenomenon which helps justify the month of May in
the Philippines, is probably the only exclusively Filipino feature of Filipino life. There are
nipa huts and carabaos just like ours all over Southeast Asia; the cariñosa, anyone will
tell you, is derived from Spain; the kundiman is a cross between the Spanish cancion
and the American “blues;” and the national costume is rightly called traje de mestiza.
But nowhere else in the world is there anything like the Santacruzan." (Nakpil 1964: 76)

Less well known are the tender nostalgic pieces like “I Remember Ermita” and “A Christmas Memoir” (Nakpil 1964), which, once again, cross the border into narrative.

Another respected woman essayist and teacher, Dolores Stephens Feria, has paid Nakpil this tribute:

"The most distinguished writing being done in the essay in the Philippines today is to be
found in the newspaper column of... Carmen Guerrero Nakpil" (Feria 1961:4)

Some of Nakpil’s later essays are collected in two other books, A Question of Identity (1973), and in The Philippines and the Filipinos (1977).


Pre-Martial Law

The sixties and early seventies were the era of the Philippines Free Press, the Philippine Graphic, the Asia Philippines Leader, and the Sunday supplements of the Manila Times and the Manila Chronicle, a high point in Philippine journalism. These periodicals attracted as staff members and regular contributors some of the best writers of the time: Nick Joaquin (who wrote as Quijano de Manila), fictionists Kerima Polotan, Gregorio C. Brillantes, Wilfredo Nolledo, Gilda Cordero-Fernando, Ninotchka Rosca, Norma Miraflor, Amadis Ma. Guerrero, and Rosario A. Garcellano; poets Jose Lacaba, Marra PL. Lanot, and Edel Garcellano; essayists Petronilo Bn. Daroy, Luis Teodoro, Antonio Hidalgo and Sylvia Mayuga. These writers raised the magazine feature article to the level of literature.

Nick Joaquin’s historical essays were later collected in A Question of Heroes (1977), a handsome coffee table book. And some of his lighter pieces were collected in 8 small volumes published by National Bookstore in 1977-198 1: Reportage on Love, Reportage on Crime, Nora Aunor and Other Profiles, Ronnie Poe and Other Silhouettes, Manila: Sin City? and Other Chronicles, Language of the Streets and Other Essays, etc. Since then, Joaquin has published at least a dozen more non-fiction books, including collections of essays on culture, an almanac, and some biographies. His writings are so well known as to make any quotations of passages from them quite superfluous.

Kerima Polotan’s essays are collected in two volumes: Author’s Choice (1971) and Adventures in a Forgotten Country (1975). These range in subject from contemporary news events, like the 1967 massacre of the Lapiang Malaya in “‘Tatang’ and the Lapiang Malaya,” to reminiscences of her unorthodox wedding in “Anniversary,” to travels in Iran in the company of Imelda Marcos in “Persepolis Without the Trimmings.” Their style varies, from rambling and evocative in “Memories” to clipped and tersed in “Midwife from Pampanga.”

And their tone varies from the poignant nostalgia in “Small Town Filipinos” to the alternating contempt and compassion in “Filipinos in America.” Many of these texts could also be called non-fiction narratives.

Gilda Cordero-Fernando has not thought of making a book out of her column, “Tempest in a Teapot,” which ran for six years, first in the Chronicle, then in the Observer, and finally in Veritas; so these charming, witty pieces are even more difficult to find.


Now

What is the scene like today as far as the informal essay/non-fiction narrative is concerned? There can only be one answer: it has never been so exciting.

After the EDSA Revolution, media enjoyed a true flowering. It was suddenly possible again to write what one wanted and how one wanted. There was also unprecedented activity in the publishing field, initiated by the groundbreaking, if shortlived Kalikasan Press, which began to publish new, relatively unknown writers.

Today, writers have the choice of taking their work to Anvil Publishing, Cacho Hermanos, Bookmark, the pioneering New Day, which is still very much around, the new Giraffe Publishers, or the university presses (U.R, Ateneo and De La Salle), which are now publishing literary titles. The effect of all this activity on non-fiction as well as fiction and poetry is obvious.

Because most of these texts are still widely available,4 I shall not quote passages from them. I wish merely to mention some examples which will, I think, suggest the range of what the new crop of essayists are doing with the old-fashioned “personal” or “familiar” essay.

Most of the non-fiction being published today consists of collections of essays originally published as newspaper columns. This, despite the fact that most journalists, if asked, would probably agree with Adrian Cristobal.

... I believe that a collection of newspaper columns in book form is sheer vanity: what is
perishable - and newspaper pieces are perishable - should be allowed to perish without
benefit of clergy. (Cristobal 1993:ix)

Pasquinades (1993), a selection from pieces originally published as part of his column in the Daily Globe, contains some of Cristobal’s best personal essays—pithy, witty and erudite without ever becoming pedantic. Conrado de Quiros has collected many essays originally published as part of his Daily Globe columns in several books. Luis Teodoro has compiled some of his columns in National Midweek and The Manila Times into one book. While these consist mainly of political essays, they include the occasional pieces which are marvelous examples of the familiar essay, like “Respite” in Flowers from the Rubble (1990) by de Quiros, and “TV and the Household” in Teodoro’s The Summer of Our Discontent (1990). Confessions of a Q.C. House-Husband and Other Privacies (1991) consists entirely of personal essays by poet/fictionist Alfred A. Yuson, since Yuson, even when he is writing political commentary, always does so with the lightest of touches and his tongue firmly planted in his cheek. The same light touch is displayed by historian Ambeth Ocampo in his column, “Looking Back,” published first in the Globe and then in the Inquirer, and longer articles published in Weekend. Some of these pieces have now collected in several books which might all be subtitled “History Made Easy.” Poet/scholar Gémino H. Abad’s “letter-essays” in State of Play (1990), also surprisingly first published as part of a column called “Exchange,” in The Manila Chronicle on Sunday, are examples of a variant of the familiar essay, what is sometimes called the “literary essay,” not just because they are often about language and literature, but because they are written in a style would best be described as lyrical. A different type of literary essay cum memoir is to be found in N.VM. Gonzalez’s Work on the Mountain (1995) and The Novel of Justice (1996).

Fictionist Amadis Ma. Guerrero has two collections of travel essays Traveler’s Choice: From North to South, (1993), and A Journey Through the Enchanted Isles, (1995). A different type of travel writing—adopting in epistolary form and focusing on details that normally elude the ordinary tourist—forms part of Seduction and Solitude (1995) by poet Danton Remoto. And sculptor Jerusalino V. Araos has published the lavishly illustrated, beautifully produced The Garden of Two Dragons Fucking (1992), which could be called an extended personal essay but actually defies classification.

A compilation of the essays which ran as the column “Barfly” by fictionist/poet/playwright Jose Y. Dalisay Jr. was released by Anvil in 1997, surely among the finest in the genre.

The women essayists are even more adventurous. Elsewhere, I have described their work as “among the best examples of English prose being produced in the country today” (Hidalgo 1994:15). They resist genre classification, being combinations of the autobiographical narrative, the personal reflection, the travel essay, the book review, the hard-nosed reportorial account, and what one writer once described as “the lyrical etude.”5

Consider the following: Sylvia Mayuga’s two collections, Spy in My Own Country: Essays (1991) and Earth, Fire and Air. Essays of a Decade (1992), a delight, as much for the immense variety and complexity of their subjects as for the consistently luminous quality of their language; Rosario A. Garcellano’s Mean Streets (199 1), which depicts “bedlam and grief’ in a language at once so lyrical and ironic, that one feels hope asserting itself over the despair; Barbara C. Gonzalez’s sophisticated, elegantly ironic How Do You Know Your Pearls are Real?, which purports to be a manual for single parenthood, a uniquely postmodern text, in which the medium is truly the message, and the message is “grace under pressure, the stiff upper lip behind the engaging smile, a kind of machismo in reverse” (Hidalgo 1994:149); Doreen Fernandez’s essays on food as culture, collected in Sarap: Essays on Filipino Food (1988) and Tikim: Essays on Philippine Food and Culture (1994).

And there is more. Fictionist Cecilia Manguerra Brainard tackles the expatriate experience from the woman’s point of view in Philippine Woman in America (1991). Domini Torrevillas-Suarez, and Rina Jimenez-David train the sharp reporter’s eye on the quotidian in Sounds of Silence, Sounds of Fury (1989) and Woman at Large (1994) respectively. Sylvia Mendez Ventura surveys her many worlds with great urbanity and charm in Ragtime in Kamuning: Sari-Sari Essays (1992). Gemma Cruz reminisces in Sentimiento (1995). Julie Daza proposes an Etiquette for Mistresses (199 3). Leni Sta. Romana-Cruz surveys the Sundays of Our Lives (1995). Red Pencil, Blue Pencil: Essays and Encounters (1991) is an imposing collection of Dolores Stephens Feria’s political and literary essays but it also includes some delightful travelogues. And my own contribution to the field takes the form of personal narratives cum travel essays, which have been collected into 6 books.

One of the most interesting of the new women essayists is Jessica Zafra, whose interests, idiom, and wacky humor have turned her into a kind of cult figure for that portion of the population that likes to call itself “Generation X.” Her Twisted (1995) and Twisted II: Spawn of Twisted (1996), collections of essays from her column in Today, and Womanagerie and Other Tales from the Front (1995), a compilation of her earlier columns in Woman Today, depict a world shaped as much by her early convent school education and the classics which she absorbed in her English literature classes at the U.P., as by MTV, rock music, comicbooks, fast foods, Hollywood, local showbiz, the gay culture, cyberspace, etc.

Another development worth mentioning is the recent publication of anthologies of essays by women writers. The forerunner here was Filipina 2 (1985), put together by a group of women journalists who had organized themselves into Women Writers in Media Now (WOMEN) to assert the difference between themselves and the “newshens” of the previous generation. A product both of the political activism that immediately preceded martial law, and the resistance movement during the dictatorship, the book was edited by Mila Astorga Garcia, Marra PL. Lanot and Lilia Quindoza Santiago, and included pieces (by, among others, Arlene Babst, Letty Jimenez Magsanoc, Ma. Ceres Doyo, etc.), which more properly belong in a discussion of the formal essay.

In 1992, Babeth Lolarga and Anna Lea Sarabia edited Telling Lives: Essays by Filipino Women, which very quickly went out of print (and since then has been re-issued). The book contains: a short reassessment of the feminist movement in the Philippines by Dolores Stephens Feria (“Gender Whirlwind from the East”); a rambling reverie about being daughter, mother and grandmother by Gilda Cordero-Femando (Motherhood Statements”); Carmen Guerrero Nakpil’s short essay on four Filipinas as representative of four aspects of the Filipino woman’s character (“The Filipino Woman: Cory and Leonor, Gabriela and Imelda”); Paula Carolina Malay’s simple, touching narrative of her mother’s life (“Recuerdos: Shadows of My Generation”); her own daughter, Paula Malay’s account of her coming of age as a writer and freedom fighter (“The Invisible Ceiling”), Rosario A. Garcellano’s narrative about watching her stepmother die (“Besieged”); my own profile of my mother; Ester Dipasupil’s harsh but humorous indictment of a convent school education (“Liberation and Crochet Work”); Emmie Velarde’s understated but poignant account of the end of her marriage (“Room with no View”), and Elvira Mata’s short vignettes about women and their failed relationships with men (“Xeroxed Palms and Other Tales of the Heart’). It is a significant anthology, as it opens a door into a woman’s private world, a world which until very recently Filipino women kept carefully shielded, allowing strangers in only after it had been carefully disguised as fiction.

One effect of the publication of this slim volume is that it appears to have started a trend—a type of writing by women for which one label might be “confessional writing.” In 1994, Criselda Yabes published A Journey of Scars, a candid account of her efforts to get over a lost lover. And then, there was Coming to Terms (1994) edited by Loma Kalaw-Tirol, a collection of astonishingly frank essays on mid-lifing by fifteen women, among them Dr. Margarita Holmes, Imelda Nicolas, Tessie Tomas, and Neni Santa-Romana Cruz.

Finally, there is Ladies’ Lunch and Other Ways to Wholeness, a tour de force by Gilda Cordero-Fernando and Mariel Francisco (1995). This unusual book, a pastiche of memoir, essay, sketch, journal entries, letters, recipes, advice, song fragments, passages from both fiction and non-fiction, drawings, sketches, and old photos, might be described as a joint autobiography of the authors, or again, a postmodern biography of middle-class Filipina, touching on practically every aspect of her life, from childhood to old age.

Another kind of anthology is the lovely little volume edited by poet/artist Ricardo M. de Ungria, Luna Caledonia: Five Filipino Writers in Hawtbornden Castle (1992). It contains poems, fiction excerpts, and the lyrical, impressionistic essays-cum-journal-entries of poets and fictionists Rofel Brion, Eric Gamalinda, Alfred A. Yuson, Marjorie Evasco, and de Ungria himself

And then there is the beautiful little book published by the Ateneo Heights. The Art of Writing (1995) includes essays on their craft by, among others, N.VM. Gonzalez, Marjorie M. Evasco, Doreen Fernandez, Danton Remoto, and Jose Y Dalisay Jr.

I have, thus far, limited myself to writers whose essays have been collected in books. Now, a word about some writers who have entered or re-entered the field of essay-writing through the newspapers, thus ensuring its continued vigor and variety in the century to come. I refer to fictionists Erwin E. Castillo, Eric Gamalinda and Charlson Ong, who wrote columns for the shortlived Evening Paper; to the very young poet Ruel de Vera, who writes for the Philippine Daily Inquirer, and to three of de Vera’s very talented contemporaries, fictionists Katrina P. Tuvera and Clinton Palanca, poet J. Neil C. Garcia, and poet/fictionist Angelo Lacuesta, whose columns, also in the Evening Paper were sometimes lyrical, often funny, and always intelligent.

It now remains for Nick Joaquin to collect the end-of-the-year essays that he used to publish in the Philippines Free Press as Quijano de Manila, delightful pieces that summed up all the events of the previous year, including vagaries of the weather, fashion, art, etc.; for Greg Brillantes to publish his series of travel essays on Latin America, first printed in Midweek magazine; for Gilda Cordero-Fernando to compile some of the essays that appeared as part of her column “Tempest in a Teapot” in the Chronicle, the Observer, and Veritas; and for Letty Jimenez Magsanoc to publish her own essays.

An effort has been made to ensure that the selections that form part of this book are fairly representative. Nonetheless, choices of this sort are necessarily personal, and inevitably reflect the editor’s taste. No claim is being made for these pieces as the “best” examples of the genre, or even necessarily the best examples of each writer’s work. But they are certainly among the finest informal essays/ non-fiction narratives to date, and they are very different one from the other. Thus they amply demonstrate the richness of the genre in the Philippines today.


NOTES

1 Last year, 1997, the U.P. National Writers Workshop in Baguio accepted works categorized as “Mixed Genre.”

2 The landmark text, Brown Heritage (Manuod 1967), which purported to be as exhaustive a study of Philippine literature as had ever been attempted, gave the essay only the most cursory attention.

3 See especially Yabes (1949), Reyes (1977), and Pura Santillan-Castrence (1967:559): “The essay was, curiously enough, less neglected during the period under survey than it is now. The short story fits more than the essays, it seems, the psychology of the present times. The essay is for gracious living and quiet, deliberate thinking, the short story is for the quick-moving, tense kind of human existence that we go through today.”

4 The fire which razed the warehouse of Anvil Publishing in January, 1996 has temporarily turned most of its titles into rare books. Anvil has promised to reprint them.

5 Filipino Woman Writing: Home and Exile in the Autobiographical Narratives of Ten Writers by Cristina Pantoja Hidalgo (Ateneo, 1994) studies some of these texts, i.e. the non-fiction narratives of Maria Luna-Lopez, Paula Carolina Malay, Carmen Guerrero Nakpil, Kerima Polotan, Gilda Cordero-Fernando, Cecilia Manguera Brainard, Sylvia Mayuga, and Rosario A. Garcellano.

Aftermath

My two nephews Kenji and Renz were in Burnaby, Canada taking the train to school when it happened. Just last month they went on vacation to Disneyland in Anaheim, amazed by how wonderful to little kids America was.

Raquel is gainfully employed as computer programmer in Georgia, the home of Coca-Cola, CNN, and the setting of Gone with the Wind. She said she was crying alone in the middle of the night after it happened.

Other cousins were in Concord, California; I thought about my other friends scattered in different parts of the globe. There’s Tita Linda whose children have settled from coast to coast. My former officemates Obet and Joyce have just arrived in New York, getting themselves acquainted with Lady Liberty and Broadway plays.

Guillermo was in Texas stroking somebody’s twisted nerve. He’s a physical therapist. His parents in Washington claimed the crash sounded like an extraordinarily loud thunder. Mavic in Delaware had just given birth and was on leave from the hospital she’s working for as a nurse. Jocelyn was in New Jersey busy doing everything expected of a housewife and mother, on leave from being a nurse, as well.

Freddie was in Dubai rescuing drowning folks on the beach when it happened. Mykee was somewhere in Europe singing; hopefully she's not harassed by a total body search this time. Erwin, Rina and Ana sounded business-as-usual in the US Embassy along Roxas Blvd. They were the ones calming us down, in fact. I told Erwin who looks like a cross between Arab and Indian to trim his nose hair to avoid getting implicated in Al-Qaeda’s money laundering.

Rey was in Japan, not a whit concerned about another atomic bomb attack on Hiroshima. Luis was in Samoa as systems administrator, promising not to board a hijacked plane on his way home. Edwin was Kuwait-bound, more worried about the Philippine economy than the anthrax scare. Willie, the friendly neighborhood salesman, was going to Malaysia, thinking twice about an appointment near the Petronas Twin Towers, the tallest towers in the world to date.

Whew, thank God for email and SMS.

***

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Ilocos, people are busily defending their posthumous honorific for a September 11 birthday celebrant/celebrator. Now, how I wish the world indeed is coming to an end.

10.23. 2001


Blurb

Read this blog at your own risk. Content can be very, very offensive, though unintendedly. The pursuit of truth is strove at, but you need not believe a single word.


The Coup (or Any Coup) Was Acceptable?

Is that what we want - a nation run by a junta? A nation managed by military minds?

There's nothing wrong with the military mind if it's being used in the warfront. But what would assure civilians that a military government will never resort to warrantless arrests, torture, curbing of free speech/expression, human rights violation, mysterious disappearances, planted evidences, and other such evils? I would never ever want to live in that kind of society, would you?!

It's not as though martial law hasn't been tried. It's not as though that dark period in annals of this republic has made everybody happy and prosperous. We know what they say about people forgetting the lessons of history…

Reconsider the following:

In a dinner hosted last night by the Manila Overseas Press Club, GMA answered questions fielded by the big names (Time Magazine's Nelly Sindayen, Philippine Star's Max Soliven, ABS-CBN's Korina Sanchez, Malacañang Press Corps' Eli Salazar, and GMA 7's Mike Enriquez; where's Inquirer?). Gloria revealed that she went out of her way to give one hour and thirty minutes of her schedule to Trillanes to address the latter's grievances on housing, material procurement, low pay, and the alleged lack of grievance system in the military. GMA normally gives only thirty minutes of her bursting schedule to investors, said her aide named Magdangal, incidentally Trillanes' fellow Batch '95 PMAer. GMA met with Trillanes together with Magdangal and another witness, a higher-up. She was just in her shirt and jogging pants; it was her time to do some jogging but presumably had to forgo with that routine. She presented to Trillanes the current efforts of her administration in those specific areas of complaints.

On that nearly-tragic Sunday, Trillanes claimed with a straight face that he sought an audience with GMA but was roundly ignored, or words to that effect. And he claimed that she met with him only in her
pajamas!

On that Sunday, Trillanes proclaimed that among their irrevocable demands was for GMA to step down. "Ano'ng [violation of] constitution and sinasabi nila? Nu'ng pinatalsik si Erap, did they say anything about the constitution?"

Later, the Magdalo group's hardline stance softened a bit. They started to become open to a dialogue. But a reporter posed this dangerous question: "So are you saying that you're no longer asking for GMA to step down?"

Trillanes answered: "Why, do you want me to insist on that demand?"

Tell me, would you entrust the affairs of the state to this guy and whoever manipulated his idealism?

8.1.2003


The World's Largest Car Park

8PM South Luzon Expressway. The SLEX was transformed yet again into the world's largest parking lot - with all the cars and the drivers ironically revved up, on full-throttle even; one direction a line of blinking red tail lights, the other a uniform glare of barely moving headlights.

We just survived bomb threats but we don't get over with sporadic attacks of getting stalled in the expressway.

You know what, we in the big city deserve whatever perks we've been getting - because these come with such a high price. I'm planning to watch a play, a concert, an art film, and have a dinner date somewhere in Greenbelt 3.


But this is one night of unintended revenge for this non-car-owner. In the middle of it all, I stepped out of the FX taxi I took, then traced my way back home in full view of all the others still trapped in purgatory supplicating for eventual release. Tra-la-la...