Chemical romance

(Filed under: Random nothings -- domestic front, or Sunday musings to inspire you.)

There are quite a number of chemicals left lying around the apartment, so instead of throwing them away, I thought of experimenting on them. I'm afraid I made new scientific discoveries.

First to be committed to empirical testing was the leftover Amway glass cleaner. Target victim: earthworms that intrude into my territory. Findings: The sprayed foam wasn't very effective. A drizzle of salt does the job of killing better. A lot of foam is needed before the worms give up squirming. I thought it's better to use the foam for their intended purpose: clean glass.

Next. Expired Dove soaps. They melt like butter if you so much as stared at them for five minutes. Findings: They're effective in cleaning up my hands after applying Bench Fix hair wax on my hair. They're useless in killing germs, though.

Next: Joy liquid dish-washing soap. Hypothesis: If this chemical is effective in eliminating grease, it should be effective in washing laundry. Results: All positive. It is even more effective in killing earthworms.

Next: Baking soda. I tried mixing it with table sugar, hoping roaches would take a bite and get bloated to death by dyspepsia. I was also hoping my illegal tenant, the rat, would catch pancreatic cancer with it, but the pet pest was just too smart for my formula than expected. Results: Not a single animal dared.

Conclusion: Leftover chemicals are a cool instrument of torture.

**

A male Devil Wears Prada

In other equally important matters... For a change, watched this John Lloyd Cruz and Sara Geronimo starrer because M. dragged me to it because she finds John Lloyd very cute. Saw this guy in person twice, and I must say I don't think so. He's just a regular guy who happened to be tall and tisoy. I've seen Richard Gutierrez too. These upstarts lack something important for a star: charisma, mystique.

Anyway, going back, I pity this movie because it could've been such a great comedy, a male version of The Devil Wears Prada were it not for the excess, especially the melodramatic end scenes that are such a discord of shifting tones. Sayang. I haven't seen a local movie this hilarious and yet, it left such a bad taste in the mouth. The writer and director don't know the word superfluous, or are they pandering to the audience, presuming them to be dodo-dumb? I dunno. It could've been an excellent film. They ruined such a good material, especially since Sara Geronimo did her naive glorified aide character excellently. What a waste.

Nen, my new officemate intends to watch it for the same reason. T., another officemate saw it with a female friend and said it was hilarious, most especially since there was a kid in the audience who shouted "Bastos yan! Bastos yan!" every time the word "sex" was uttered in the movie. (The movie is about a male editor of a men's magazine who is obssessed with being No. 1 because he had an inner demon to slay.)

May I implore film people to please stop such pathetic superfluity?: Don't waste your talents and our time by throwing filmic restraint to the wind.

This movie's sins of excess were so offensive I walked out on it near the end and deliberately forgot its title. I didn't even care to know who wrote it and directed it. I felt I didn't deserve being insulted. Someone should tell mainstream film people that, if deliberate excess is their object, they better be sure the end product is campy. I really felt so bad that my plan of watching Monster Mom of my own accord just to see Anabelle Rama either play herself or make a fool of herself, was thwarted. I shall be watching Adam Sandler instead. Perhaps I'll have a better time.