For the longest time, we’ve all found sex perversions beguilingly mysterious. The first time I attempted to tackle it (because no one else would), I ended up with a parade of question marks.
Finally, someone seems to have nailed it! Listed here are the specific cases that found ourselves at a loss the first time, even though these things surprisingly happen to a number of people.
Here are the explanations I've gathered:
Bestiality – release of pent-up energy of sex perversion on a subject that poses no threat of rejection
Peeping tom, Voyeurism, Pornography – taking a peek at someone’s nakedness for the excitement and danger, mistaking the act as a point of connection that will provide a safe way to feel intimate with the person; results in a false sense of closeness without the risk of a real relationship; indicative of a deathly fear of, or inability of having, intimacy with the subject (who is reduced as sex object)
Prostitution – receiving money in return for sexual acts; represents a solution for the feelings of powerlessness as victims of sex abuse; a distorted means of control by identifying with one’s abuser, accompanied by resignation to the life role of being 'spoiled goods'
Patronizing prostitutes – paying for sexual favors hoping the prostitute will know just what to say to affirm the insecure child within whose need to be loved drives him to someone who ‘understands’ the patron’s need for an affirmation of his sexual prowess in order to feel loved and accepted; (without this hidden dynamic, patronizing prostitutes is simply a venal exercise of lust – RO)
Pederasty, Ephebophilia – the result of an unresolved early-life [shaming] trauma, sexual or otherwise that is associated with the loss of innocence?; a sexualized projection of the urge to repair oneself on a boy of the same age as when the abuse occurred to the person; (I placed a bracket and a question mark to indicate my own additions, my own 'theory' - RO)
(Pedophilia - similar to pederasty, but heterosexual in nature, i.e., the target of the projection of unmet needs is a girl young enough to be the person's daughter?- RO)
Sadism - rage for some early-life shaming trauma (such as sex abuse) is mistaken for, or fused with, erotic pleasure; (perhaps to ease the pain of shame and the associated (and presumed) feeling of rejection? - RO)
(Masochism - punishment for oneself is confused (or fused) with sexual pleasure perhaps to ease the pain of shame and the associated (and presumed) feeling of rejection? - RO)
Exhibitionism - is the exposure of one’s body as a safer substitute to the exposure and acceptance of one’s soul compared with real nonsexual interaction with people in the real world; physical exposure is mistaken for true closeness or intimacy. (I think the idea is, with 'opening' yourself via real-world relationships, there is a risk of rejection. With nudity, the risk is avoided by doing some kind of a short-cut to the satisfaction to be had out of revealing oneself to others and others revealing their own hearts to oneself. Exhibitionism, then, has something to do with meeting the unmet need to be known, accepted, affirmed. -RO)
Sex addiction in marriage – an insatiable demand for sex in marriage which may also involve a confusion of sex with love
Compulsive masturbation – the exercise of pleasure to avoid anxiety and dread that otherwise threaten to break into an awareness of hidden early-life issues; sex is mistaken as a cure for anxiety; a result of unresolved childhood libidinal fantasy (i.e., traumatic abandonment by mother)
Sex fetishes in general – among men, an article of clothing (or equivalent objects) is substituted for mother in an unresolved libidinal fantasy (resulting from a trauma involving mother’s absence during early life)
Cross-dressing – an attempt to recapture closeness to mother
Sex addiction in general – among men, the act of entering and reentering the womb, literally, in the form of rape, sex aggression, and womanizing, constitutes an emotional dependency on a woman due to motherlessness in early life; a reassurance of controlling the ‘abuser,’ in this case mother; (motherlessness turns out to be as serious a problem as fatherlessness - RO)
By the way, these are disordered acts some well-meaning but misguided people want you to accept as normal and for which they seek legal legitimacy and social acceptance, enshrined no less than in the United Nations charter and the rest of the world's courts, constitutions, and cultures.
See my inadequate initial attempt: http://restyo.blogspot.com/2009/06/what-do-sex-fetishes-mean.html
Addenda:
Paruresis - the fear of urinating in the presence of other men, as in a public restroom where fellow men can see each other's business, due to the anxiety of not measuring up or not being one of the guys
Sex orgies/group sex, polyamory (polygamy, polygyny), swinging - "seeking of sexual pleasure on a mass scale," a friend defines it -- possibly to fill in a sex addict's sense of emptiness
Frotteurism/Frottage - "rubbing, usually one's pelvis or erect penis, against a non-consenting person for sexual gratification"; deeper psychological explanation unknown
Rimming - "licking, kissing, caressing and penetrating one's partner's anal opening with one's tongue"; deeper psychological explanation unknown
Koro - panic attack triggered by the morbid fear of having one's penis/genitals stolen or shrunk by someone; occurring chiefly in Africa and Asia
Finally, someone seems to have nailed it! Listed here are the specific cases that found ourselves at a loss the first time, even though these things surprisingly happen to a number of people.
An important principle in understanding sexual perversions, I have found, is this: The 'pervert' is invariably an abused person, and the abused person’s aping his or her own abuser is a means of self-reassurance that one has finally gained control of his/her abuser.
Here are the explanations I've gathered:
Bestiality – release of pent-up energy of sex perversion on a subject that poses no threat of rejection
Peeping tom, Voyeurism, Pornography – taking a peek at someone’s nakedness for the excitement and danger, mistaking the act as a point of connection that will provide a safe way to feel intimate with the person; results in a false sense of closeness without the risk of a real relationship; indicative of a deathly fear of, or inability of having, intimacy with the subject (who is reduced as sex object)
Incest – abusive sexuality resulting from a twisted fulfillment of the needs for blessings and affirmation from the closest family members as a person; results from confusing love with sex; an indication of a desperate need for love; (may be caused by a trauma involving a family member, leading to the sexualization of what is perceived to be a reparative/redemptive act - RO)
Prostitution – receiving money in return for sexual acts; represents a solution for the feelings of powerlessness as victims of sex abuse; a distorted means of control by identifying with one’s abuser, accompanied by resignation to the life role of being 'spoiled goods'
Patronizing prostitutes – paying for sexual favors hoping the prostitute will know just what to say to affirm the insecure child within whose need to be loved drives him to someone who ‘understands’ the patron’s need for an affirmation of his sexual prowess in order to feel loved and accepted; (without this hidden dynamic, patronizing prostitutes is simply a venal exercise of lust – RO)
Pederasty, Ephebophilia – the result of an unresolved early-life [shaming] trauma, sexual or otherwise that is associated with the loss of innocence?; a sexualized projection of the urge to repair oneself on a boy of the same age as when the abuse occurred to the person; (I placed a bracket and a question mark to indicate my own additions, my own 'theory' - RO)
(Pedophilia - similar to pederasty, but heterosexual in nature, i.e., the target of the projection of unmet needs is a girl young enough to be the person's daughter?- RO)
Sadism - rage for some early-life shaming trauma (such as sex abuse) is mistaken for, or fused with, erotic pleasure; (perhaps to ease the pain of shame and the associated (and presumed) feeling of rejection? - RO)
(Masochism - punishment for oneself is confused (or fused) with sexual pleasure perhaps to ease the pain of shame and the associated (and presumed) feeling of rejection? - RO)
Exhibitionism - is the exposure of one’s body as a safer substitute to the exposure and acceptance of one’s soul compared with real nonsexual interaction with people in the real world; physical exposure is mistaken for true closeness or intimacy. (I think the idea is, with 'opening' yourself via real-world relationships, there is a risk of rejection. With nudity, the risk is avoided by doing some kind of a short-cut to the satisfaction to be had out of revealing oneself to others and others revealing their own hearts to oneself. Exhibitionism, then, has something to do with meeting the unmet need to be known, accepted, affirmed. -RO)
Sex addiction in marriage – an insatiable demand for sex in marriage which may also involve a confusion of sex with love
Compulsive masturbation – the exercise of pleasure to avoid anxiety and dread that otherwise threaten to break into an awareness of hidden early-life issues; sex is mistaken as a cure for anxiety; a result of unresolved childhood libidinal fantasy (i.e., traumatic abandonment by mother)
Sex fetishes in general – among men, an article of clothing (or equivalent objects) is substituted for mother in an unresolved libidinal fantasy (resulting from a trauma involving mother’s absence during early life)
Cross-dressing – an attempt to recapture closeness to mother
Sex addiction in general – among men, the act of entering and reentering the womb, literally, in the form of rape, sex aggression, and womanizing, constitutes an emotional dependency on a woman due to motherlessness in early life; a reassurance of controlling the ‘abuser,’ in this case mother; (motherlessness turns out to be as serious a problem as fatherlessness - RO)
By the way, these are disordered acts some well-meaning but misguided people want you to accept as normal and for which they seek legal legitimacy and social acceptance, enshrined no less than in the United Nations charter and the rest of the world's courts, constitutions, and cultures.
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Based on Craig Lockwood’s Falling ForwardSee my inadequate initial attempt: http://restyo.blogspot.com/2009/06/what-do-sex-fetishes-mean.html
Addenda:
Paruresis - the fear of urinating in the presence of other men, as in a public restroom where fellow men can see each other's business, due to the anxiety of not measuring up or not being one of the guys
Sex orgies/group sex, polyamory (polygamy, polygyny), swinging - "seeking of sexual pleasure on a mass scale," a friend defines it -- possibly to fill in a sex addict's sense of emptiness
Frotteurism/Frottage - "rubbing, usually one's pelvis or erect penis, against a non-consenting person for sexual gratification"; deeper psychological explanation unknown
Rimming - "licking, kissing, caressing and penetrating one's partner's anal opening with one's tongue"; deeper psychological explanation unknown
Koro - panic attack triggered by the morbid fear of having one's penis/genitals stolen or shrunk by someone; occurring chiefly in Africa and Asia
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